Help, this is like my 3rd time tryna post this. A while back, my sister brought home 5 friends to hang out at our house. Anyways, my sister (14) is at that phase in her life where she doesn’t want to have anything to do with me and my parents, and she just wants to be around her friends. Anyways, after around an hour of her friends coming over, I (16) started to talk to one of the girls, as it turned out we had loads of the same interests like music and stuff. So we started having a conversation, I saw that my sister was getting annoyed and she left with a few of the others into our room.
So I’m here with this friend, let’s call her Sandy, and another girl, we can call Luna. We started to bond over lots of stuff, talking and laughing, and just having normal conversations, but halfway through, Sandy said that she was bi, so I was like “I’m gay as well!” and then Luna said that she also liked girls. But after that Luna left to do smth and Sandy said that she said that bc she liked one of the other girls that my sister was hanging out with, so I gave her some advice on what to do. Then, after Sandy went to the bathroom, Luna came back and told me that she had a crush on Sandy, so I just gave her some advice as well. They both told me not to tell my sister, as my sister doesn’t know and my sister isn’t exactly accepting of queer people, including me, so i agreed. After that, I just made gay jokes as that’s just what I do sometimes, but my sister came out at this time and heard only me making gay jokes, and she was not happy. A few weeks later, my sister invited Luna and 2 other friends, but for some reason, Luna wasn’t talking to me, after she told me on Discord (I gave her my Discord last time) that my sister said to them not to interact with me for some reason.
Last week my sister suggested to my mum that she should go out with her friends somewhere around 30 minutes away by bus. My mom said sure if I came with them, but my sister was not having it. I was in another room, but I heard her tell my mum, “Last time my friends were here, she just kept on telling them about how she was gay”. My family is very religious, so when I came out, it was mostly me getting shouted at, and then trying to shove it into a corner and forget about it. So when my sister went to shower, I tried to explain to her everything, and that for 14-year-olds, stuff like this feels like a lot, so I was just trying to help. My mum still insists that I should not have told them, and I don’t know if I’m in the wrong.
Since then, Sandy and Luna have not talked on Discord, as we all think that it’s too much of a hassle with my sister being her. Example, my sister would notice that I’m texting Luna so she on a call with her other friends start bad talking Luna and sandy, but she doesn’t mean it as she trying to do it so that I will tell them and there will be like tension and shit, I don’t even know what she’s trying to achieve with that. So with that, am I the asshole?
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Help, this is like my 3rd time tryna post this. A while back, my sister brought home 5 friends to hang out at our house. Anyways, my sister (13) is at that phase in her life where she doesn’t want to have anything to do with me and my parents, and she just wants to be around her friends. Anyways, after around an hour of her friends coming over, I (16) started to talk to one of the girls, as it turned out we had loads of the same interests like music and stuff. So we started having a conversation, I saw that my sister was getting annoyed and she left with a few of the others into our room. So I’m here with this friend, let’s call her Sandy, and another girl, we can call Luna. We started to bond over lots of stuff, talking and laughing, and just having normal conversations, but halfway through, Sandy said that she was bi, so I was like “I’m gay as well!” and then Luna said that she also liked girls. But after that Luna left to do smth and Sandy said that she said that bc she liked one of the other girls that my sister was hanging out with, so I gave her some advice on what to do. Then, after Sandy went to the bathroom, Luna came back and told me that she had a crush on Sandy, so I just gave her some advice as well. They both told me not to tell my sister, as my sister doesn’t know and my sister isn’t exactly accepting of queer people, including me, so i agreed. After that, I just made gay jokes as that’s just what I do sometimes, but my sister came out at this time and heard only me making gay jokes, and she was not happy. A few weeks later, my sister invited Luna and 2 other friends, but for some reason, Luna wasn’t talking to me, after she told me on Discord (I gave her my Discord last time) that my sister said to them not to interact with me for some reason. Last week my sister suggested to my mum that she should go out with her friends somewhere around 30 minutes away by bus. My mom said sure if I came with them, but my sister was not having it. I was in another room, but I heard her tell my mum, “Last time my friends were here, she just kept on telling them about how she was gay”. My family is very religious, so when I came out, it was mostly me getting shouted at, and then trying to shove it into a corner and forget about it. So when my sister went to shower, I tried to explain to her everything, and that for 13-year-olds, stuff like this feels like a lot, so I was just trying to help. My mum still insists that I should not have told them, and I don’t know if I’m in the wrong. Since then, Sandy and Luna have not talked on Discord, as we all think that it’s too much of a hassle with my sister being her. Example, my sister would notice that I’m texting Luna so she on a call with her other friends start bad talking Luna and sandy, but she doesn’t mean it as she trying to do it so that I will tell them and there will be like tension and shit, I don’t even know what she’s trying to achieve with that. So with that, am I the asshole?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) Telling my sister’s friends about my sexuality 2) I wasn’t meant to as that is my sister’s life and I should not get involved with it
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
A lot depends on your sis. 13 makes it hard to judge.
Is she aware of her own sexuality? If no, then yes you are an asshole. If she is, then no. Telling a very conservative kid that you are gay is wrong. Tell a very conservative sex aware teen is fine.
The question is is she a kid or teen? 13? Some are kids, some are teens.
NTA. I wouldn’t interact with your sister’s friends too much though. They’re navigating their own drama and you don’t want to be a part of it.
Sorry your family is so hostile to who you are, though.
Please use paragraphs.
I don’t think this has much to do with you being gay – I think your sister was pissed that her friends were talking to you instead of her.
NTA. you seem awesome! sadly siblings will be like this sometimes and I hope that you can patch things up!