I have not seen my sister in a minute because she decided not to be respectful to others and their safety, she doesn’t care at all.
For some context, my step sister Milan( 35F) and her husband Danny (46M) always had trouble in paradise but it got worse when they had their second son. Their son was their first child with a disability, my bil didn’t like that his son wasn’t “normal” and was embarrassed so milan had to take care of him more since Danny didn’t want to be seen with his son. Then they had another child, they had a daughter without a disability and my bil only acted like her father.
I saw this and knew it was bad, my family did too and tried to help in the situation but was called off instead. Which is why half of the family doesn’t speak to her or invite her because she enables her husband behavior, it’s not safe to have him after because all he does is threaten people. I told my sister that she shouldn’t be dealing with this and this will hurt the kids in the long run but she insulted me instead. She said I was trying to ruin her marriage, basically her and my bil ganged up on me. My brother told me I need to mind my business because he hurts me, like seriously it couldn’t be real.
Milan didn’t defend me but held her husband back, they could have each other. I wasn’t going to interfere in their life because if I had to risk my mental health for insults then I don’t want it. Especially not after Danny wished death on my kids and my sister agreed with him like it was nothing. My sister and I stopped talking for a while now, I don’t even reach out and she doesn’t.
Now she is calling me to see if I can come over and hang out, it was strange to me because years of no talking she wants to hang out after no apology from her or her husband? To me it felt like a set up honestly, I sure did not feel safe going to her house. I asked her if she was still married and she said yes so my response was a no, she felt offended and asked why won’t I see her. She must’ve forgot what happened, I told her I’m not seeing her again unless I get an apology and when her husband is gone.
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Backup of the post’s body: I have not seen my sister in a minute because she decided not to be respectful to others and their safety, she doesn’t care at all.
For some context, my step sister Milan( 35F) and her husband Danny (46M) always had trouble in paradise but it got worse when they had their second son. Their son was their first child with a disability, my bil didn’t like that his son wasn’t “normal” and was embarrassed so milan had to take care of him more since Danny didn’t want to be seen with his son. Then they had another child, they had a daughter without a disability and my bil only acted like her father.
I saw this and knew it was bad, my family did too and tried to help in the situation but was called off instead. I told my sister that she shouldn’t be dealing with this and this will hurt the kids in the long run but she insulted me instead. She said I was trying to ruin her marriage, basically her and my bil ganged up on me. My brother told me I need to mind my business because he hurts me, like seriously it couldn’t be real.
Milan didn’t defend me but held her husband back, they could have each other. I wasn’t going to interfere in their life because if I had to risk my mental health for insults then I don’t want it. My sister and I stopped talking for a while now, I don’t even reach out and she doesn’t.
Now she is calling me to see if I can come over and hang out, it was strange to me because years of no talking she wants to hang out after no apology from her or her husband? To me it felt like a set up honestly, I sure did not feel safe going to her house. I asked her if she was still married and she said yes so my response was a no, she felt offended and asked why won’t I see her. She must’ve forgot what happened, I told her I’m not seeing her again unless I get an apology and when her husband is gone.
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NTA -She didn’t forget anything. She’s conveniently ignoring what happened, or she has something to tell you.
She can do that over the phone, but yeah, sorry, don’t have a real high opinion of a man or woman who would treat their disabled child like an outcast. Shame on them.
Um, the real problem here is your sister – why are you only holding it against her husband?
It’s up to you and your mental health if you want to deal with drama again.
If you decide to meet her then in a public space, a park or a cafe. Try to figure out if she has changed, if not – leave.
Is it possible that she has come to realize what an awful husband she has and is thinking about leaving him? Maybe she is looking for support.
It’s likely she needs help with babysitting or money.
Run away. Not AH. She broke trust.
She needs something.
You’re nta but I am worried about your nephews and your sister. Obviously it’s not your responsibility but are you sure they’re ok? Is there anyone else who is in their lives beside awful husband?
Did you remind her that they wished death on your children? There’s no coming back from that.
“while I love you and the kids I cannot participate in your lives. I cannot and will not endanger myself. I wish you the very best for your life but please do not contact me any further.”
NTA. My guess is she wants something from you. Remember, “A leopard never changes its spots”.
>Aita for telling my step sister, she will never see me if again if her husband is still there?
Just him? Your sister and brother aren’t safe either
>Now she is calling me to see if I can come over and hang out,
No. TF.
>To me it felt like a set up honestly, I sure did not feel safe going to her house.
Don’t go
>I asked her if she was still married and she said yes so my response was a no, she felt offended and asked why won’t I see her.
Stupid or willfully dense?
>She must’ve forgot what happened, I told her I’m not seeing her again unless I get an apology and when her husband is gone.
She didn’t forget but she thinks you did.
Stay away from them
NTA – keep standing up for yourself.
Time may heal all wounds……BUT time does not erase bad behavior. So many stories on here about people who think there is a statute of limitations on owing and apology.