Contacts- a quinceañera is a coming of age party for a girl when she turns 15. So here’s what happened, we were all in the living room it was my mom, my stepdad, my older sister, me and my two younger siblings. My little brother was doing something that he shouldn’t have been doing and, I called him out on it, my stepdad got mad at me and told me not to get so mad at my younger brother and if I keep it up he’ll cancel my quinceañera, so I told him that he didn’t have a choice on it cause my mom was planning it and she was gonna be the one to pay for it. The room went quiet and it got awkward I didn’t know what happened, and my mom wouldn’t talk to me. Days later my mom and sister told me that I was being rude, selfish and that without my stepdad they wouldn’t have been able to pay for my older sisters but I didn’t know that I just knew that my mom paid for it all. It wasn’t the first time my stepdad has threatened me by canceling my quince and this was the first time I said something to him about it.
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Contacts- a quinceañera is a coming of age party for a girl when she turns 15. So here’s what happened, we were all in the living room it was my mom, my stepdad, my older sister, me and my two younger siblings. My little brother was doing something that he shouldn’t have been doing and, I called him out on it, my stepdad got mad at me and told me not to get so mad at my younger brother and if I keep it up he’ll cancel my quinceañera, so I told him that he didn’t have a choice on it cause my mom was planning it and she was gonna be the one to pay for it. The room went quiet and it got awkward I didn’t know what happened, and my mom wouldn’t talk to me. Days later my mom and sister told me that I was being rude, selfish and that without my stepdad they wouldn’t have been able to pay for my older sisters but I didn’t know that I just knew that my mom paid for it all. It wasn’t the first time my stepdad has threatened me by canceling my quince and this was the first time I said something to him about it.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I feel like the what I said to him was too harsh and as much as I do regret it, it did stop him from making remarks to me like that. Why it would make me an asshole is because my mom and sister came and me saying I was and that I shouldn’t be bratty to my stepdad, my mom and sister are people I care deeply about and if hurts to hear stuff from them like that
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Omg girl you’re not the a hole, I know how that feels and honestly your mom should say something about him threatening to cancel your quinces
NTA
I strongly disagree with using your quinceañera as a bargaining tool with you. You are turning 15 and while no one owes you a party, I am assuming since your sister had one that it is traditional in your family., and that it would take something really huge to cause your parents to cancel it. Saying something to your misbehaving brother is so not even in the realm of suitable reasons. Your stepdad can punish with some other type of punishment if he sees fit, but threatening to cancel your much-anticipated event for disciplining your brother? That is just odd to me. I wonder if this is one of those “boys can get away with things because they are boys” attitudes.
YTA you’re not your little brother’s parent. Let your mom and stepdad handle him, you don’t need to be “calling him out.” And you claim your stepdad can’t say anything about cancelling it, but your mom is telling you the same thing. Don’t keep pushing it.
NTA if you did something serious (physically beat your brother, drunk driven, etc) and he “threatened” you I would say you’re an AH, but you were educating his child..?
He’s a child to be throwing “I’ll cancel your party” like it’s something small “no phone today miss”. It’s an important thing that you are all planning for you, so it’s very reasonable to get mad at him repeating the threat over and over again
You should not speak to your stepfather that way. He is just saying things without really meaning what he’s saying. He just wants you to be nicer. Stop being a brat or your mom may get on his side.