My dad’s wife, Janet, has a daughter my age, Amy.
Janet is constantly nitpicking me. She’ll criticize me for dyeing my hair different colors or cutting it too short — saying it’s “not feminine” (which is funny, because Amy also has short hair).
She’s always making snide comments about my piercings and tattoos. Thing is, Amy has way more piercings and tattoos than I do. Plus, Amy is literally a professional piercer/tattoo artist — she’s the one who gave me a couple piercings and even one tattoo as a birthday gift (Janet didn’t know that)
Janet also loves to insult my career choice. I’m a programmer, and she keeps saying it’s “a job for men.” (Ironically, Amy studied programming for two years before dropping out.)
The final straw? Somehow, Janet found out that I smoke. She gave me a three-hour lecture about health risks and how irresponsible I am. Keep in mind: my dad and Amy both smoke too.
So the next time Janet tried to start another anti-smoking rant, I just… snapped. I told her that Amy smokes too, that Amy gave me my piercings and tattoo, and that we even dye each other’s hair when she comes over for sleepovers.
Janet lost it. Amy wasn’t mad, she just said, “Don’t worry about it.”
Now, though, Janet treats me even worse and calls me “an asshole who can’t keep secrets.”
So… AITA for telling my stepmom her daughter’s secrets?
Comments
How old are you? Your stepmom is an AH on steroids and needs to shut it. You need to move out. It’s not you, it’s her!
Holy hypocrisy Batman!! Your stepmom is a walking contradiction. Talk about do what I say and not what I (my kid and husband) do! Stepmom is a mean girl who never outgrew her mean girl phase. Absolutely NTA. You should avoid your stepmom at all costs.
When a person doesn’t like you they’ll find reasons not to like you no matter what. It has nothing to do with logic or reason. Don’t worry about it. Try to ignore her as much as you can. This person is not going to change her mind about you
NTA, omg the hypocrisy is insane. Just stop visiting or meet your father in a public setting like a McDonald’s to see him and catch up, it sucks but if he’s not gonna leave her and you don’t want to cut him out then that’s the least he could do for you.
If she’s on one of her rants again maybe recruit Amy? Ask her if she can make her mom chill out cause then at least it’s 2v1 and the person she’s weaponizing against is on your team?
Yes. Just because you threw Amy under the bus. Good she wasn’t mad at you for that.
She just doesn’t like you and won’t. Bitch ass. Make sure it doesn’t affect how your dad sees you.
This can’t be real.
ESH why throw Amy under the bus? You need to call out your stepmom for insulting you and to go to your dad and start calling him out for allowing his partner to slam his kid.
Also acceptable to ask Amy why she doesn’t stick up for you.
Dislike that your response to someone insulting you is to say but Amy does it to. At the end of the day she shouldn’t be insulting you at all. There isn’t a rational for it
Why is your dad letting this happen? That’s my big question.
Next time you feel like blowing things up, when she says something critical in front of your father, just say out loud, what a strange thing to feel comfortable saying to someone. And then look at your father and say, and I’ve always wondered why you let someone speak to me this way.
Have Amy set the witch straight. Witch isn’t going to listen to anything you have to say. Obvs your dad isn’t sticking up for you
I had a boss that did something similar with me years ago. She had a daughter around my age and everything she didn’t like about her daughter got taken out on me. Her daughter didn’t care about my bosses opinion on anything, so my boss berated me about my tattoos and smoking and parenting and life decisions, anything that reminded her of the daughter she couldn’t control. I had little choice to push back since she was my supervisor in a small bedroom community with very few job opportunities, so I just had to take it until I was able to quit finally. Longest 5 years of my life. It may be something similar with your stepmom if Amy doesn’t care what your stepmom thinks. Nonchalant is a good weapon, act like you don’t care about stemoms opinions and don’t let it bother you, or at least don’t show that it does.
NTA
Another stepmonster being a cow
Don’t listen to her she is absolutely nuts