I (16m) have a younger brother (14m) and he’s our parents and our grandma’s favorite. I’m grandpa’s favorite but I think it’s only because he knows I don’t get treated the same and would be totally overlooked if he didn’t favor me and show me the attention he does.
My brother gets whatever he wants, he’s praised for doing nothing and every time he does something, like help with a football game, he gets spoiled rotten and praised for being such a good athlete. When he said he wanted to go pro when he’s older our parents and grandma were all for it and said he was so amazing and how great it is that he’s inspired to be like that. They were so happy they let him away with not doing chores for like 6 weeks.
My brother can say he’s not feeling the best and asks if I’ll take over our chores and our parents expect that. But even if I’m sick I’m expected to do mine and if I ask him to take mine over because I’m sick he says no and they scold me for trying to get out of my responsibilities.
My parents don’t really care about my interests the same way they do my brother’s and neither does grandma. The three of them say pretty often that I should be more athletic like my brother and they told me if I played football or basketball I’d be more interesting but all I want to do is play video games and code and that’s not something they can get behind. Grandma even said she would never support my wish to see if I can make a career out of them and there would be no more gifts ever if I decided to become “one of those weird people who games on the internet for money”.
My brother is always asking me to help him or give him stuff but he never wants to do the same back. He’s always unhappy when I don’t support him at football but he brushes off whenever I try to talk about the favoritism to him. He expects everyone to be so one sided and he’s 14 and younger than me and I get we’re both still really young but fuck that. Why do I have to do better than him all the fucking time.
It actually caused a huge fight when grandpa started to support my interest. He bought me some retro consoles and games and stores them at his and grandma’s house for me. I go over when everyone else is going crazy for my brother and play them. Grandma hated that because she didn’t like their house being used for supporting “that kind of hobby”. My brother found out about them because grandma told him and he got jealous. Then he asked grandpa to let him play and grandpa told him they’re mine and nobody else gets to play.
My brother was mad about that and said it’s not fair that I get to be grandpa’s favorite and he shouldn’t treat us so different. This is where I was maybe too much of an AH because I told him to fuck off because he can’t be everyone’s favorite and that he has our parents and grandma so the least I can have is one person who gives a shit about me instead of him. My brother taunted me and said I was jealous and that I shouldn’t talk to him like that. So I told him to fuck off again only I was angry this time and he was like come on you’re still my brother and I said I wish I wasn’t.
Now he’s upset, our parents are mad and grandpa is fighting them and grandma. My brother’s like you’re still my brother and I told him he’s selfish and never wants to do anything for me so why would I be glad he’s my brother.
AITA?
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We need insight into you, your NTA your 16, academically where are you going, you game and code, are you really coding are you aiming for a school that fosters this curriculum, do you carry a grade point that a college will accept you on these merits, all aspects of life require some dedication learned skill and repetitive practice and understanding, if your just grasping at an Atari and moving through life you’ll be in for a shock, life isn’t a free ride and jobs aren’t just handed over with 6 figures
NTA
At least you have your grandpa on your side.
Nta. I already see that you will go low or no contact with your family (not grandpa, he sounds great) when you’re an adult.
I’m really sorry that your family treats you so coldly and that they don’t care for you.
Also a hobby doesn’t have to end up career? I rwakly don’t understand what your grandma thinks. You do a hobby because it’s fun, not to make money. Yeah, there are some people who make money out of it but most people do it for fun. And gaming is one of the most commond hobbys. Codeing can also help you when you want a job in a tech field.
Your brother deserved to be called out of his behaivour. Actually your whole family (not grandpa) deserves it because they don’t give a s*it about you.
Don’t feel sorry for him.
It’s evident your parents are to blame for this. You are both still young boys. They should be encouraging you both. Not favoring your brother. Well done Grandpa!! 👏
I’m nearly 70 and I’m a gamer. I spent my life as an IT professional. Just wanted my family to be happy, didn’t care if they were athletes or nerds. You are NTA as you are being treated unfairly. However, as a former code monkey I have to say that unfairness is part of life. You can/will make money from your computer skills and there may be more decently salaried IT jobs within reach than pro sports openings if that’s your thing in the end. Seems like your brother is playing the crowd while you just want to be yourself. Favouritism toward the younger is not unusual. If you are serious about coding and game coding in particular then make sure you study, understand game theory, and engine theory, as well as grasping graphical tuning etc as this will help you both play and code better. Do well in school and remember that if your parents are focused on your brother then scholarships are your friend. You are young and minds change but also I can tell you that being reasonably physically fit helps with the long desk bound hours of an IT career. Gaming is fun and a great hobby and there are some statistics that cite a lower risk/instance of illnesses like Alzheimer’s in on line gamers because of the requirement for understanding game mechanics, solving problems and cooperative play and honing reaction speeds. Many F1 drivers train in simulators for this reason, same with pilots and drone pilots. People don’t realise the real world applications of many things developed for games. Keep your head down, your grades up, do your chores and stay out of your brother’s way. Look after Grandpa, my grandmas were my greatest allies.
Nothing like good ol sibling rivalry .. listen here lil bruh I have 8 brothers . We all grew up in the same house . My mom and stepdad supported us in anything we did that was positive. There’s nothing wrong with coding and gaming but those are very isolated hobbies in which your family can’t really support you as often like if you played baseball. So you asking for support with a hobby many don’t know a lot about. As for your brother he doing normal stuff like say basketball which the family supports cause they can physically support it. Yal gone be alright cause Yal brothers and you older. So don’t be mad encourage him to do his best . Be his 1st friend not his 1st enemy.
Nta just remember you can actually get a good job based on coding and make a decent salary. Your brother prob won’t make pro like your parents think he will
Nta at all you were absolutely right about literally everything you said when you called him out perfectly! He CANNOT be everyone’s favourite and they have honestly raised him to be very narcissistic! Stand your ground and good luck op. UpdateMe!
Nta
Don’t worry. You’re the one who’s gonna make it in life. Brother won’t survive out there.
Although go for the coding as a carreer, not gaming right away. The world needs ciding way more than gaming and you sound like a smart dude. Don’t waste it!
NTA
NTA but maybe just give the rest of them the bare minimum. Don’t entertain conversations with them and just focus on you and trying to set yourself up so you can enjoy your life.
Updateme
It’s gonna suck when you’re 18,but get out and never look back. Your adult life with them will be them gaslighting you none of it ever happened.
Updateme
NTA, but your parents are. You and your brother may end up hating one another and it’s all their fault.
Generational assholes. Your grandma is an AH for enabling your parent’s enabling and brother’s behaviour, your parents are AH for not breaking the chain and enabling favouritism AND your brother’s behaviour. Your brother is just a straight up AH.