Here’s some important context: My sister (28f) recently got engaged to her now fiance (28m). We only recently found out about the engagement even though they’ve been engaged for 2 months. Before their engagement they were only dating for a month or so.
When my sister announced her engagement we were all shocked to say the least but we congratulated her and we celebrated. However, she has now made it a point to stay making fun of the fact that she got engaged before me (25f) even though I’ve been in a ldr with my bf (28m) for 4 years. In fact everyone was surprised that she got engaged before me. I’ve told her multiple times that I’m not bothered that she got engaged before me since she is the older sister so it only makes sense.
Now here us where I might be TA. We were at her birthday dinner a few days ago. Once again at this birthday dinner she started the whole thing of how she got engaged before me. I was just going to let it slide since it was her birthday dinner and her fiance was there and I don’t really know him that well. However she then said that app they were planning that if they found out that my bf was going to propose to me they were going up get engaged the day before just to beat me to it. As soon as I heard that I lost it and told her that she’s making it seem as though she only got engaged just to spite me. The mood turned sour and eventually we all went home.
My parents think I overreacted since according to my sister that comment was only a joke. So AITA for telling off my sister at her birthday dinner?
Comments
^^^^AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! READ THIS COMMENT – DO NOT SKIM. This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read this before contacting the mod team.
Here’s some important context: My sister (28f) recently got engaged to her now fiance (28m). We only recently found out about the engagement even though they’ve been engaged for 2 months. Before their engagement they were only dating for a month or so.
When my sister announced her engagement we were all shocked to say the least but we congratulated her and we celebrated. However, she has now made it a point to stay making fun of the fact that she got engaged before me (25f) even though I’ve been in a ldr with my bf (28m) for 4 years. In fact everyone was surprised that she got engaged before me. I’ve told her multiple times that I’m not bothered that she got engaged before me since she is the older sister so it only makes sense.
Now here us where I might be TA. We were at her birthday dinner a few days ago. Once again at this birthday dinner she started the whole thing of how she got engaged before me. I was just going to let it slide since it was her birthday dinner and her fiance was there and I don’t really know him that well. However she then said that app they were planning that if they found out that my bf was going to propose to me they were going up get engaged the day before just to beat me to it. As soon as I heard that I lost it and told her that she’s making it seem as though she only got engaged just to spite me. The mood turned sour and eventually we all went home.
My parents think I overreacted since according to my sister that comment was only a joke. So AITA for telling off my sister at her birthday dinner?
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I told my sister off at her birthday dinner because of a comment that she made.
Help keep the sub engaging!
Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ
Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. Her words do imply that she got engaged to spite you.
ESH. Your sister is in some weird competition to be first. Being the oldest does not matter. Your reaction sounds less than mature. Your parents getting upset that you were upset certainly isn’t productive.
Nah you stood on business she was being an asshole
NTA she’s also on track to be divorced before you…
You could have handled it better…snapping at her, in front of everyone, at her birthday dinner only made you look bad as most people likely saw it as coming out of nowhere. :
She definitely sucks for what she’s doing to you but sinking to her level has dragged you into the mud with her.
ESH.
Had you remained quiet it would only have been her that looked bad. It’s inevitable when people like your sister so blatantly try to make themselves shine at the expense of someone else.
NTA. It’s always a “joke.” The fixation on that is concerning. She has deeper issues.
Nta, but here’s the good news. She’s also on track to get divorced before you.
NTA and yes it does sound like she only got engaged to be First. What type of person does that? Your family doesn’t even know the guy , neither does she really. Tell her it’s nothing to be proud of nor gloat about. What’s next in her crazy mind? Getting pregnant to be First? Sky Diving?
NTA, definitely sounds like she was in competition to get engaged first.
So it was ‘only a joke’? Ask her to explain to everyone how it’s funny. Then repeat as necessary that you don’t get it. Forcing someone to explain what they call a joke is a great way for them to see it’s not funny at all. NTA.
Nta sounds like she just did it to “beat” you in a game only she’s playing. She keept making the same comments over and over to get a reaction that’s not a joke but pushing to make you react and then act victim when you do. I can’t these kinda people and they’re pshyco mind games.
[removed]
Your sis is crazy being engaged after only a month of dating. Due to her comments, it sounds like she is competing with you. Insanely immature behaviour. Your parents fail to recognize it. NTA
NTA – your sister is clearly competing with you over something in which there should be no competition. I would have said something too. Otherwise, she just would have continued with the unfunny ‘joke’.
Nope. Your B-Day isn’t a blank check to be an asshole.
NTA
Sounds like she has some serious Main Character Syndrome.
No one cares who gets engaged and when, except apparently her. This is a ridiculous thing to be competitive over.
If you do get engaged, don’t invite her to the wedding unless she has a major attitude adjustment.
Being the birthday girl should get you a little bit of slack, like getting a little drunk slack or blurting out something stupid and minor slack. Telling your younger sister that you engaged a month after meeting someone to ensure that she wouldn’t get engaged first is pretty major.
NTA. She doesn’t get that much slack.
NTA your sister is being ridiculous. She seems to think of this all as a competition, wonder how her fiance feels about getting engaged to one-up her sister. Your best approach is to ignore her, tho reminding her that you aren’t participating in this little competition she has going on might be tempting 😇 Seriously, your sister has issues if she’s being this pathetic about something that noone else gives a flying fuck about.
Sounds like you’re bothered. Joke’s on her, she’s going to be divorced before you too.
NTA, if it was a ‘joke’ where’s the funny part.
NTA. Just to be certain OP your sister, recently got engaged to someone she’s only been dating for ONE month? I’m just going to quote Elsa from frozen. “Can’t marry a man you just met” each there own, but that’s just a train wreck waiting to happen.
Seems like it’s a game only she’s used to playing alone & than got shocked when u decided to make a move at her (think of it like battle ship or playing Uno with ur best friend)
Tell her she’ll be divorced before you too!
You could always announce your engagement or pregnancy at her wedding. I know that’s taboo, but check and mate (that means she can f right off with this competition/main character syndrome she has).
NTA and something tells me your sister marriage is doomed from the start. She got engaged after only knowing someone a month and apparently only got engaged so she could beat you to it.
You answered a “joke” with another “joke” but then you are the sourpuss???
NTA
I believe you are the scapegoat. And if your parents are saying you overreacted you are the whole family scapegoat.
Very
Low contact from now on.
NTA:
That’s a really specific joke, and jokes are supposed to be funny, not mean-spirited
NTA. Sounds like your sister has a sensitivity to the thought of you being engaged first.