AITA for telling someone he insulted me?

r/

I matched with someone on a dating app and started chatting. Being Asian, I asked him where he was from. He told me that he was from China and asked me where I was from. I told him that I was born in Taiwan but my family moved to the US when I was 2. He then told me that he is thrilled to meet his fellow countryman. This rubbed me the wrong way because Taiwan is definitely not part of China. I told him that Taiwan hasn’t been a part of China since the late 1800s when imperial China gave it to Japan. I told him that he insulted me by calling me his countryman. He then wrote some abusive things (ie calling me mentally ill and a few other things). I reported him to the app for abusive behavior. AITA?

Comments

  1. AutoModerator Avatar

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    I matched with someone on a dating app and started chatting. Being Asian, I asked him where he was from. He told me that he was from China and asked me where I was from. I told him that I was born in Taiwan but my family moved to the US when I was 2. He then told me that he is thrilled to meet his fellow countryman. This rubbed me the wrong way because Taiwan is definitely not part of China. I told him that Taiwan hasn’t been a part of China since the late 1800s when imperial China gave it to Japan. I told him that he insulted me by calling me his countryman. He then wrote some abusive things (ie calling me mentally ill and a few other things). I reported him to the app for abusive behavior. AITA?

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    OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:

    > I reported his profile for abusive behavior. I could have just unmatched him.

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  3. SigSauerPower320 Avatar

    I’m curious…. Why does it OFFEND you?? I’m Hispanic and have never been offended by someone assuming or thinking I’m Mexican or Dominican….

  4. Small-Improvement984 Avatar

    I mean he may have been wrong but were you really insulted? Like was it mean or disrespectful? Or were you just being extra?

    If you were being totally serious and you did infact believe it was an insult then you are obviously not a match for this person, forget about it KCMO

  5. Mystery-Ess Avatar

    I mean are you surprised? I don’t mean it rudely, but I would think people from the mainland are brought up to think that Taiwan is part of china.

  6. tarmaq Avatar

    ESH. He wasn’t trying to be offensive initially. He was trying to find commonality, and you vastly overreacted. He was then TA for calling you names, as you were TA for telling him that he had insulted you. Quit being so fragile. Look at things like this as an opportunity to educate, not berate.

  7. Auvik-Reddits Avatar

    Yta for taking insult to somethinf like that. And he is probably too dumb for you.

  8. Fiempre-sin-tabla Avatar

    Oh, boy. The right/wrongness of the “One China Policy” is not going to be decided on a dating app, FFS. ESH.

  9. Quick_Turnover_5929 Avatar

    NTA. If you didn’t like the comment, then you didnt like the comment. No one gets to decide how you feel about an interaction you had but you. You stood up for yourself and you should be proud. Shame on him for reacting the way he did. You’ll find someone you click with that will respect your boundaries.

  10. Mundane-Run6179 Avatar

    NTA. Absolutely NTA. He sounds like a complete asshole