AITA for thinking my younger brother is secretly filming me and invading my privacy?

r/

I (20F) feel like I’m losing my mind over this and I don’t know if I’m being paranoid or if my brother (16M) is actually crossing the line.

A few weeks ago, I thought I was home alone. I was in my room, door closed, and being intimate with myself not exactly quiet about it. Suddenly, my door opened slightly and I saw a phone camera slowly peek in. I shouted “what the hell are you doing?” and my brother panicked and said he was just “checking if I was in.” I checked his camera roll later but didn’t find anything, so I convinced myself I must have been wrong or overreacting.

But then the other night I was watching a movie in bed, just wearing a crop top and underwear. My brother asked to watch too, and I said fine, but told him he couldn’t get under the covers. I fell asleep expecting he’d leave. Instead, I woke up the next morning with the covers pulled off me (which doesn’t happen when I sleep alone) and he was standing at the foot of my bed with his phone pointed at me. I stirred and he ran out of the room.

This makes him look really guilty. But here’s the problem: we’ve always been extremely close, and I’m terrified of accusing him of something awful if I’m wrong. At the same time, I feel unsafe and like my privacy is being completely disrespected.

Would I be the asshole if I confronted him or told our parents or even just informed the police?

Comments

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    I (20F) feel like I’m losing my mind over this and I don’t know if I’m being paranoid or if my brother (16M) is actually crossing the line.

    A few weeks ago, I thought I was home alone. I was in my room, door closed, and being intimate with myself not exactly quiet about it. Suddenly, my door opened slightly and I saw a phone camera slowly peek in. I shouted “what the hell are you doing?” and my brother panicked and said he was just “checking if I was in.” I checked his camera roll later but didn’t find anything, so I convinced myself I must have been wrong or overreacting.

    But then the other night I was watching a movie in bed, just wearing a crop top and underwear. My brother asked to watch too, and I said fine, but told him he couldn’t get under the covers. I fell asleep expecting he’d leave. Instead, I woke up the next morning with the covers pulled off me (which doesn’t happen when I sleep alone) and he was standing at the foot of my bed with his phone pointed at me. I stirred and he ran out of the room.

    This makes him look really guilty. But here’s the problem: we’ve always been extremely close, and I’m terrified of accusing him of something awful if I’m wrong. At the same time, I feel unsafe and like my privacy is being completely disrespected.

    Would I be the asshole if I confronted him or told our parents or even just informed the police?

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    OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:

    > 1) thinking about getting my brother into trouble and ruining our relationship

    1. could ruin our relationship and get him into trouble without me even knowing if it’s true

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  3. SirFyric Avatar

    NTA

    This isn’t paranoia: document everything, confront with a trusted adult present, and if it happens again involve the parents or police; protect yourself first.

  4. isconfuse Avatar

    Check the hidden camera in your room, too, just in case. Your brother crossed the line with the recording. He probably watches too much porn.

  5. CythraulGoch Avatar

    Also, the hidden camera roll, and also the possibility that he emailed it to an anonymous account and then deleted it from his phone. Lots of ways to hide photos or videos.

  6. miles_to_the_ocean Avatar

    Um, no, NTA, that is absolutely terrifying. You should tell one of your parents ASAP (I’m assuming they’re around?) If you need absolute proof, I say set your phone up or some sort of hidden camera to film at night for a few nights. If you get your hands on his phone again, check his deleted photos— usually, unless the function is turned off, there is a trash folder for deleted pictures/videos. Stay safe.

  7. milkychocolateswirl Avatar

    NTA tell your parents for sure. If you decide to confront him, try be gentle so he doesn’t get too defensive. It’ll give him more opportunity to be honest rather than argumentative. I’m sorry this is happening

  8. fannyfighter_ Avatar

    Never in a million years would I even think of doing this shit to my sister or ever want to know what she does in private. The same goes for literally all my mates with their sisters as well.

    This is weird as fuck and you’re definitely NTA. You should bring this to the attention of your dad or mum.

  9. tara_masalata Avatar

    Nta speak to your parents. However has your brother seen your reddit cos you are posting some quite provocative stuff which you are well within your rights to do but if he or his friends saw that it could get even more awkward fast

  10. cluelessdetectiv3 Avatar

    NTA I don’t want to think he’s up to anything nefarious but perhaps early access to porn has started to rot his brain. This is one of those things where you don’t want the answer but can’t stay quiet either dang this sucks sorry your going through this

  11. jacob_ewing Avatar

    NTA

    This is several steps beyond suspicious and seems more like “caught red handed”. Do speak to your authority of choice about this.

    Does your bedroom door have a proper lock? even a little hook and eye on the inside would be better than nothing.

  12. the_jinxed_one Avatar

    NTA. This sounds less like paranoia and more like you’ve caught him multiple times. Tell your parent/s, and I’d also confront him personally and ask to see his hidden and recently deleted in his photos

  13. SmokedStone Avatar

    NTA. something’s up. he may have a weird porn addicted or growing kink and may need some help. god forbid he think this stuff is okay and do it someone else in the future.

  14. Horror-Jicama8913 Avatar

    He’s definitely attracted to you

  15. Mayalestrange Avatar

    NTA. Your brother sounds like a young predator in the making. You should tell your parents. Youe parents taking this seriously could be the difference between him hurting a lot of people in the future or figuring out what’s wrong with him now before it escalates. This kind of behaviour is sometimes also started because someone was abused as a child, so there might be some underlying issue he needs treatment for.

  16. ReadMeDrMemory Avatar

    NTA. Involve your parents.

  17. supercoach Avatar

    He’s definitely wanking to you. I don’t think you want to be that close to him.

  18. LinearityDrift Avatar

    My countries govt netsafe dept has this TV ad that you could put off the family chat. He might get the hint.

    https://youtu.be/f29mh5ntlw4?si=765yqg5NGyemcYEq

  19. DreckigerDan93 Avatar

    Two young adults in the prime hormonal heat time of their life and one of them (you) is doing audible and easily visible lewd stuff and then you wonder if and why it happens….

    ATA

    for the inability to keep it to yourself.

    Hell, aren’t there locks in your house? Do you HAVE TO scream in orgasms while a sexually aroused boy is close-by?

    By the looks of your account, you’re on your journey to become a OF-Girl, so he would see you naked sooner or later anyway.

    This post is most probably bait to promote yourself.

    How cheap you are….

  20. Etnadrolhex Avatar

    Act now before he becomes a real predator. Tell your parents and ask them to force him to se a psy!

  21. CantHandleTheZest Avatar

    So you caught him recording you multiple times and your reaction is to ask online strangers if it’s ok to think he’s a perv?