My friend’s car broke down today so I drove him and his gf to downtown. It takes about thirty minutes to get there. A few minutes after we started driving she started smoking weed in my car. I politely asked her to stop since my sister likes to use my car sometimes. She stopped, but she started doing it again. I politely reminded why I can’t have a weed smell and she stopped. But when we were ten minutes away she started smoking again and I told her if she kept smoking weed I was going to kick her out. I didn’t raise my voice but she started crying. My friend said it was not a big deal because we were not in the car for very long, but I did not see it that way. So Reddit, aita for wanting my car to smell clean?
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My friend’s car broke down today so I drove him and his gf to downtown. It takes about thirty minutes to get there. A few minutes after we started driving she started smoking weed in my car. I politely asked her to stop since my sister likes to use my car sometimes. She stopped, but she started doing it again. I politely reminded why I can’t have a weed smell and she stopped. But when we were ten minutes away she started smoking again and I told her if she kept smoking weed I was going to kick her out. I didn’t raise my voice but she started crying. My friend said it was not a big deal because we were not in the car for very long, but I did not see it that way. So Reddit, aita for wanting my car to smell clean?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I told a girl that smokes medical marijuana to stop. I do not understand why she smokes medical marijuana and her reasoning for smoking might be more important than me wanting to keep my car clean.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. Except you were an AH to yourself for not kicking her out of the car the second she started smoking again. She’s an AH and so is her BF.
NTA. It’s your car, you set the rules, and she ignored them three times after polite warnings. Weed smell lingers and can cause problems for you and your sister, so threatening to drop her off was reasonable. Your friend should have backed you up or found another ride.
NTA. Weed stinks, and it’s actually kinda rude for the passenger to assume you’d be okay with it.
NTA, if the friend says they’re not in the car for that long anyway tf is the problem with smocking after you dropped them. You wouldn’t even need to give her an explanation. Your car YOUR rules. Acting like she gonna die if she’s not gonna smoke within the next 5seconds
NTA. Do not give a ride to this person again, ever. And don’t let the friend borrow the car.
Side note, this is not something an adult cries about. She is either mentally ill, or a dramatic and rude person.
NTA. You’ve asked her multiple times not to smoke in your car, yet she kept doing it. It sounds like she’s not really emotionally stable if she started crying when you said that.
Not the asshole, and they are putting you at risk of arrest for impaired driving.
Screw the inconsiderate dimwits. You just plain don’t ever smoke anything in someone elses car without permission. The second time would have been brakes on, door open, GTFO and dont call me.
NTA. well, if they are not in the car for long then it can’t have been a long way. ergo they can walk from now on. (or bike. or take public transport. or uber. or idk, walk on their hands for all i care about)
🙂
You are not TA and I don’t understand how people dan do drugs. It stinks and I don’t get the hype over smoking. You have every right to kick her out. NTA
NTA. No one has the right to stink up your car by smoking anything in it. I’m wondering what is wrong with someone who can’t respect that reasonable request.
NTA. Your car, your rules. If people can’t deal with that they can walk.
NTA but you should have followed through after the 1st time she didn’t listen.
Nta I would kicked her ass out when she did it the first time. You coulda gone to jail if pulled over.
NTA. It’s your car, your rules. If they don’t like the rules, don’t ride in the car. Your friend who thought it wasn’t a big deal has no vote in the matter. It’s not his car, his car is broken down on the side of the road and you came to his rescue so he really needs to shut his mouth and be grateful he got a ride home with his disrespectful girlfriend.
NTA and it would have been fine to actually kick her out way earlier. People don’t need so many warnings.
NTA, but she sure sounds like one. Your car, your rules. And if she can’t respect those rules, she has no business asking for a ride.
NTA.
It is both rude and disgusting to smoke in someone else’s vehicle, home, etc without explicit permission.
It is a beg deal – smokers don’t know how badly things smell.
The gf should wait – what’s the rush.
“Not a big deal” is the biggest copout in history. They do not get to decide that. It’s your car. They abide by your rules or they get tf out. And on a side not: how pathetic is this woman that she can’t go 10 minutes without weed??
NTA.
NTA
I would have kicked her out without warning the first time.
NTA. Your car, your rules. If sne can’t abide by them, sne should find some other transportation.
Not at all.
NTA. You were nicer than I would have been. Everyone who knows me knows my car is smoke-free, of any kind, because I have allergies. I’d have pulled over the first time she lit up and kicked her out.
NTA. Stop giving rides to people who don’t respect your rules for the car.
Nta she shouldn’t have done any of that, fucking audacity
NTA – if your friend thought it was ok to smoke in someone else’s vehicle (when specifically asked not to) they could have kept sitting on the side of the road and smoke in their broken down car or see if they could get away with doing that in an Uber or Lyft.
Those “it’s not a big deal” people are not your friends. <<full stop>>
NTA. I would have kicked her out the first time she did it.
NTA
As an avid weed smoker who lives with people(I love) who hate the smell, the smoker needs to be the mindful one always. It doesn’t linger quite like cig smoke but the smell takes a while to get out of non-washable soft surfaces(like your entire car). That and the risk to people with respiratory issues, you are well within your rights ask someone to not smoke in an enclosed space with you.
That being said, the girlfriend was vaping(not burn/smoking) in the car, it’s disrespectful but it’s not quite the same level of issue. Vape smoke typically disappears quickly, has no linger smell anyone I know has ever experienced, and rarely causes issues unless blown directly into the face of someone…like being confined in a car together.
Still NTA but there’s a world where the consequences are nonexistent and this whole thing is literally smoke in the wind.
I would’ve kicked her out the second time. Definitely not ever offering her a ride again.
NTA – I would have pulled over and kicked her out on the spot after defying my specific instructions.
NTA.
I’m pretty sure if this was the other way around she would also be very pissed off. You did absolutely the right thing, and it’s fully your right to allow or not allow whoever or whatever in your car.
NTA. No one smokes anything in my car, ever. Out immediately. If girlfriend needs her drug hit, pack a brownie or something. Weed is stanky and some types are among the stinkiest things I’ve ever smelled. The only reason I am against weed legalization is because I don’t want to be smelling it in public all the time. We’ve finally gotten rid of most of the cigarette smell and now they want to replace it with something worse? No thanks, edibles, fine. Girlfriend might want to examine her oral fixation to determine why she cannot go 30 minutes without lighting up.
As someone who smokes, I would never do it in my car. That’s super disrespectful to you. NTA
Who the hell gets in someone else’s car and just starts smoking anything?
Unless it’s something that has been added about and ok’d previously, then maybe that gets a pass, but you were far nicer about it than I would’ve been
YTA for not kicking her out after your first warning.
Your car, your property, your rules.
Beggars can’t be choosers.
They needed something from you and disrespected you, your car etc.
Where I come from if you are pulled over and there is just a trace of weed smell in your car. They would completely take your car apart. They might damage your car but they don’t care.
If they suspect drugs in your car then they will look for it.
Plus passive exposure in a small environment like a car could trigger a drug test for you or actually make you high if you are sensitive to it.
Don’t let others dictate what’s ok or not ok in your car, your house / flat all around your property.
Because you will have to live with the consequences and no one else.
>My friend said it was not a big deal because we were not in the car for very long
This is just a silly point. It’s not, say, about putting up with music you hate for ten minutes, It’s about smoking and leaving a lingering smell in your car. You can’t turn off the smell after ten minutes.
Besides, she’d already been asked not to do it.
NTA
There’s the legal aspect of you inhaling weed smoke while you are driving a 2+ ton weapon in public at speed. YOU could end up with a DUI. Screw the smell of weed, using an airborne drug in an enclosed space is irresponsible, and in the case, both illegal and dangerous. Next time pull over and let them out. This is your license at risk, and for most of us that means your livelihood too.
Don’t give her or him a ride anymore. Not only was it very disrespectful after first warning.. I’ll give some one a pass on first one assuming it was just a brain fart moment. But crying after doing that 3x is already comically wtf, but just weird too unless you were over the top harsh and we don’t know that part of what you said
NTA. Your car, your rules.
“We won’t be in the car for very long”. This is pot-smoker’s logic. Your car now smells like weed. Good luck getting THAT smell out of your upholstery and headliner. Find friends that you can emulate.
NTA. I smoke weed but I would never smoke in someone’s car without permission. It’s rude and disrespectful, not to mention it’s not safe for the driver while driving. If you can’t wait 30 minutes then don’t be asking others for rides.
NTA, getting an Uber for them would have been a power move. I will get you there but not in my fucking car.
First time they lit up or vaped I would just pull over and end it. Then not ordered the Uber.
There is no way on this planet where you are the asshole. Driving sober is law, you could have gotten fucked sideways with open pot in the car.
Friends gf is also not a protected status, cock block the shit out of him and hold him responsible for his girls actions. If he was passive in this he isn’t your friend.
NTA
“It’s not a big deal”
“It is to me. GTFO”
Ain’t no way you let her light up three separate times in your car. That’s insane that she couldn’t put it out and let that be the end of it. NTA, don’t let her back in your car.
Never let crying win. It is emotional blackmail. As soon as it starts, all logic stops. It means they know they are wrong or cannot come up with a cogent argument, and have to resort to an emotional trump card.
NTA. It’s your car, she’s being hella disrespectful. Especially after you politely asked her not to once and she kept doing. That’s straight ignorance at its finest.
NTA. You need new friends.
“You’re going to be in my car even less if she doesn’t stop”
NTA. Even as a smoker I can respect other people space and property.
NTA. Your car your rules. You were doing them a favor. What part of No did she not understand.
No is a complete sentence.
I would have put her out of the car when she started doing this after being told not to – you were too nice OP.
NTA
I am a smoker (cigarettes, not weed) and would never even think of smoking in someone else’s car (unless of course the owner of the car were also smoking).
Neither would any smoker I know.
It is just asshole behaviour.
NTA. Your car, your rules, especially when you are doing someone a kinda big favor [using you and your car as a chauffeur service, an hour of your time.].
NTA- it WOULD be a big deal if you got pulled over and police smelled it (in the US). Since Marijuana stays in the system so long, if they pulled you out and tested you, and you had any trace…Driving while intoxicated.
You may even get convicted with a clean test. There are lots of intoxicants that do not show up, so the officer’s judgment is the final say.
WTF! NTA. My husband smokes (regular cigarettes) but would never light up in my car, nor anyone else’s unless they’re also smoking. He also doesn’t smoke in his own truck anymore because we lost serious $$ selling his old one because it smelled of smoke.
This has nothing to do with the smell and everything to do with respect. You told her to stop and she didn’t. First of all, who just lights up in someone’s car without asking? Second, esp weed which I think is still illegal to smoke in cars (like having an open can of beer) and third, you asked her to stop and she didn’t and started crying after doing it again? WTF? It was a half hour ride.
NTA. She should have asked if it was ok and when told no, not done it. Crazy to think she did it, stopped, and did it twice more.
NTA
YOUR FRIENDS FAFO