Hi guys i really need some perspective on this to understand if I’m being a jerk or she is. My mom used this crock pot for my sisters graduation party and it sat there for months filled with cabbage. I tend to do the dishes AS LONG as they are empty and in the sink. I have communicated several times to everyone how much it bothers me for them to leave massive chunks of food in dishes when we have a garbage disposal, and my refusal to do the dishes if they are left like that. Dishes aren’t my chore or anything, i just tend to do them because no one else will and dishes will stink up the house if i don’t.
now back to our crockpot, it was left in a corner to ferment and it ended up collecting an army of fruit flies gushing from this one tiny vent from the top. i was going crazy looking for the source until i found it. i knew with the amount of flies that existed coming for the tiniest hole, that many many more existed on the inside. not to mention the smell was horrific, probably the worst aroma i have ever had to deal with- all from this one hole. So i thought the best thing to do was to triple bag the thing, put it in a bin and leave it outside the house for now until we figure out where the best place to throw it out is. she came home extremely livid about it, told me i shouldn’t have thrown it out and to buy her a new one. from my perspective I’ve been very open about not just that crock pot but unwillingness to clean the dishes if they cannot at the very least remove the food from them.
P.S. we have a garbage disposal and dishwasher anyone can use. i tend to handwash personally because its what im used to
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Hi guys i really need some perspective on this to understand if I’m being a jerk or she is. My mom used this crock pot for my sisters graduation party and it sat there for months filled with cabbage. I tend to do the dishes AS LONG as they are empty and in the sink. I have communicated several times to everyone how much it bothers me for them to leave massive chunks of food in dishes when we have a garbage disposal, and my refusal to do the dishes if they are left like that. Dishes aren’t my chore or anything, i just tend to do them because no one else will and dishes will stink up the house if i don’t.
now back to our crockpot, it was left in a corner to ferment and it ended up collecting an army of fruit flies gushing from this one tiny vent from the top. i was going crazy looking for the source until i found it. i knew with the amount of flies that existed coming for the tiniest hole, that many many more existed on the inside. not to mention the smell was horrific, probably the worst aroma i have ever had to deal with- all from this one hole. So i thought the best thing to do was to triple bag the thing, put it in a bin and leave it outside the house for now until we figure out where the best place to throw it out is. she came home extremely livid about it, told me i shouldn’t have thrown it out and to buy her a new one. from my perspective I’ve been very open about not just that crock pot but unwillingness to clean the dishes if they cannot at the very least remove the food from them.
P.S. we have a garbage disposal and dishwasher anyone can use. i tend to handwash personally because its what im used to
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> i threw out my moms crock pot because it had rotting food and flies. it might make me an asshole because its her crockpot that she bought
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA cabbage sitting out stinks so bad. I would have thrown the whole kitchen out.
Im thinking nta. Stop doing their dishes. Also, move out as soon as you are legally allowed to / cam afford it.
NTA.
Why is your mom such a dirty person?
NTA. If it’s been sitting for months with rotting cabbage, it’s basically a biohazard at that point. She had plenty of time to clean it. That’s not on you. NTA
NTA. That is a biohazard. It’s their problem for letting it get that bad. If they wanted to salvage it so bad, they should clean it themselves. If they can’t upkeep it properly, best not to waste money on getting them a new one. I hope you can leave soon, it sucks to live in really nasty environments outside of your choice
Info: Did you actually throw it out? Or is it just in a bin outside the house for now?
You just stuck it outside or something but not necessarily thrown it away sure but It could have been cleaned and used but that wasn’t your job to do.
NTA.
And it sounds like it was still triple bagged outside; she can bring it in and clean it if you choses.
NTA
And please get away from living with these filthy slobs ASAP.
NTA.
Unfortunately for your mother, everyone (including you) in the family was too filthy and lazy to deal with the crockpot. She didn’t miss it for the months that it was sitting around becoming a health hazard so she won’t miss it now.
It sounds like it was at a point where there was no option but to throw it out. You couldn’t allow her to continue to use it to make food for other people.
She shouldn’t have to be responsible for all the unpleasant cleaning tasks in the house but she used it and it belonged to her. So she should have taken responsibility for getting it cleaned, either by asking someone else to do it or by doing it herself.
NTA. She doesn’t take care of her own possessions so why should you?
NTA you did not throw it away you put it outside in a bin until you figure out how best to dispose of it. Presumably she can retrieve it and clean it up or take it to the dump?
ESH buy her a crock pot and then get over yourself. Clearly anyone could have cleaned the crock pot at any time including you, don’t care what you say or think a dish should never sit more than 24 hours in your house. Are you so petty that you will live with rotting food and that shit for months rather than just clean someone else’s mess? They are so lazy and gross that they can’t clean their own mess? They do not deserve a crock pot then.
NTA. Not worth it to clean rotting infested food. Just throw it away.
You have a garbage disposal. What’s the big deal with people leaving food on the plate? Is it that hard to rinse it down the sink and flip a switch? Quit being a drama queen. That said, the crock pot sitting there for along time is gross.
Only really filthy people leave food for months. Seriously, a health hazard and grossly disgusting.
You should have taken it outside, let the flies swarm out, fill it with water and dish soap and let it soak a while. Then empty it out, take it inside. Refill with water and soap and turn it on high. Once it reached temperature, pour out the water a scrub.
Why is this so difficult?
This is gross… Think of the mold growing in it… That’s a hazard on it’s own
NTA if she doesn’t like it she can wash it. Outside, by herself. If she’s not doing the dishes then she can stfu and accept that she’s a slob
I once left a small deep fat fryer on the side (full of oil) for a few months because executive dysfunction made it feel like climbing a mountain to sort it out. It didn’t smell or have a swarm of flies attracted to it, but by the time I finally tackled it, the biggest problem was that the non-stick coating inside it was flaking away, making it no longer food safe, even if it had been thoroughly cleaned. It went to the recycling centre.
So depending on the coating inside the crockpot, it could very well have been unfit for use by and would have had to be thrown out anyway. NTA.
If your mom really wanted to use the crockpot, she would have cleaned it herself instead of letting it sit festering for months on end.
You said you hadn’t binned it yet. It was triple bagged til yall decided what to do.
Mom can go get it, take it out of the bag and deal with it.
YTA. I say this as someone who has committed this SAME ‘crime’. My MIL left a travel mug in her kitchen, full of an unknown beverage, for so long that it became a soup of bacterial sludge. I was cleaning her apartment and I ‘decided’ that it was too far gone; that I was unwilling to clean it (and I knew she’d never get to it) so I threw it out. Here’s the thing: It didn’t belong to me – it wasn’t my property and I had no right to dispose of it. There’s this thing called COMMUNICATION, and all you had to to was NOTIFY your mother of the situation and allow her to decide what SHE wanted to do with HER PROPERTY. In the moment, it was fine to bag it and set it somewhere ‘safe’, outside; but you had no right to fully dispose of it, since it didn’t belong to you. All the blah blah blah about how you do the dishes is just irrelevant because this is about someone else’s property and how disgusting it was does not magically give you the legal right to dispose of their property without their consent. (Again – it’s not that hard to ASK – text, call or otherwise communicate!)
NTA, I forgot something when we went out of the house on vacation and I threw it away. It was less than a week. When I got home and realized I missed the gross food I trashed it.
I agree with you. It was trash.
But you didn’t throw it out, you placed it outside so it wouldnt be in the house. I would tell mom that you aren’t throwing it away and you refuse to clean it with how disgusting it is. If she wants to keep it, she can clean it herself.
But are you going to end up buying her a new one? Feelings of not wanting to do it while doing it are a very real thing, and very different from flat out refusal to do something.
Youre not an AH for not wanting to replace it. But you will be the AH if you don’t replace something that you threw out, regardless of the reason. (Hint: Go look at some thrift stores. They will have something that you can get to replace it until your mom somehow gets a new one.)
YTA. It’s great that you’re doing the dishes, but YTA for throwing out the crock pot. There are a million other solutions (many of them resulting in your mom cleaning the crock pot) before going straight to throwing it out.
Put the crock pot outside
Put the crock pot in her room
Put the crock pot in her hands
Make her smell the crock pot
Hide the crock pot somewhere
Seal the crock pot in a double trash bag and write “crock pot” on the bag
The list goes on and on. Going straight to throwing it away when it isn’t yours makes you the AH for that no matter how much good you’ve been doing by doing the dishes.