So to preface, my husband and I have different political beliefs. In every other part of our life we are perfect matches, but when politics come up we always end up fighting. He is a conservative, mostly republican who although he doesn’t like Trumps personality, he is still supportive of him. I on the other hand consider myself to be liberal and in the past have leaned more democrat but I honestly believe the two party system is trash and needs overhauling (which he does agree with). He was raised in a very small southern town with very conservative values and has a lot of unconscious biases that he refuses to admit. I saw on social media that a poll was given that 56% of Americans don’t believe that Arabic numerals should be taught in schools (for anyone who doesn’t know, this is the numbers 0-9). As an experiment, I asked my husband if he thought Arabic numerals should be taught in schools just to see what he said. He quickly said no and I laughed and told him that meant he didn’t want them to teach kids our regular number system. I then told him that it was clear that when he heard the word Arabic and immediately shut it down it revealed his true bias. He said I was being purposefully deceitful and was just trying to prove that he is a bad person. I said I was trying to prove to him that he has biases so he can closer examine himself in the future. Now he is pissed off and won’t talk to me, so AITA?
AITA for tricking my husband into admitting his bias?
r/AITAH
Comments
NTA
It’s important to take steps to educate the brainwashed. The right is told all things Muslim/Arab is bad, so they don’t use their brain when they hear “arabic”. Good time to teach him what the word means and ask him to consider his bias.
My 7 year old just learned about this in a Jack and Annie book. He knows more than your husband now lol.
This is one of those right idea, wrong delivery situations.
This sounds so petty.
Everyone is going to say NTA bc 99% of Reddit is liberal. If you’re looking for non biased feedback you probably won’t get it here
I do not comprehend why people who identify as Not a Nazi remain in relationships with Nazis. Hes siding with someone who would ensure you have zero legal rights.
Is he aware, among all the things Trump is, that he is basically evidently a rapist? Not to speak of the underage girls stuff.
How can you even be with him?
Usually, I am not someone who says you need to cut ties with someone of different political believes, but Trump is on another level.
I wonder how you can be okay with that, you cannot possibly have compatible values.
“He said I was being purposefully deceitful and was just trying to prove that he is a bad person.”
LOL – NTA.
At least he figured out, kinda. Yes, your husband IS a bad person.
You’re an asshole for emotionally and otherwise supporting a conservative. He votes to end my life as an lgbtq person and is happy to see immigrants sent to death camps.
[deleted]
Read The Communist Manifesto together. Become Marxists. Leave the duopoly behind. Find enlightenment.
YTA
“He said I was being purposefully deceitful and was just trying to prove that he is a bad person.”
Liberal here and he’s 100% right. You say you did this so that “he can closer examine himself in the future”. Please educate yourself on how persuasion works. It’s not by shaming and setting traps for people. If you aren’t mature enough to have an actual conversation without reverting to “Caught you!” as the starting point of a conversation, then you will not succeed in what you are trying to do and are being an asshole.
You are definitely the asshole but not surprising because you’re liberal
NTA – you bruised his ego – LOL
Not talking to you is childish
Arabic numerals can mean the format 0-9 but it can also mean Eastern Arabic numerals which look like squiggly lines. Not sure if you’re trying to make a point or just annoy him. The only good reason to teach Eastern Arabic numbers in school is to be able to determine what the countdown timer says so you know how much time you have left to get the hell out.
Do you acknowledge your own biases? The concept on unconscious biases is that everyone has them. So I think YTA you are intentionally using a concept on him and not yourself.
Ew, why are you married to someone who votes for pedophiles?? Is your husband also a pedophile? I hope you don’t have kids with him.
YTA because your delivery was crappy and manipulative to the person you love the most. I’d apologize for tricking him. Then have the conversation differently.
NTA you “deceived” him by stating true facts. He’s mad because he got caught.
Being confronted on your true nature abruptly without warning is jarring. If he is smart he will get over it and analyze your intent for what it was.
Serious question as a moderate who has been left and right leaning depending on issues married to a maga for over 30 years who has accepted our very diverse family but sometimes that Archie Bunker comes out .
What is more important your politics or your family?
My extended family goes from very conservative to extreme progressive
We don’t all agree on everything and often contact is limited between certain individuals which changes from administration to administration.
We all agree that it is your right to practice what politics,protests,religion you want.
And accept everyone but let kids be kids don’t play politics with them.
YTA. You deliberately tricked your spouse
What are your unconscious biases?
If he didn’t think he was wrong then he wouldn’t think you’re trying to prove he’s a bad person. Obviously he knows it’s wrong and it does make him a bad person to discriminate against a group of people because of their origin which isn’t something they can help. If only there was a term to describe this that is generally frowned upon 🤔 NTA but he should reconsider how he views others although I doubt he will
YTA for being married to an open xenophobe for patting yourself on the back for outsmarting the lowest of the low. And you kiss that thing on the mouth?
What about your own biases?
From reading the other comments here, your side is chock full of your own. And not the least bit subtle about them.
All you did was prove how dumb conservatives truly are. He got embarrassed by you exposing how dumb they are
NTA what is deceitful? You didn’t lie. The fact that he doesn’t understand what an Arabic numeral is has nothing to do with your truthfulness. Also, honey, he’s a Trump supporter. Nobody has to be deceitful to expose his bias or make him look bad, he’s already announced his prejudices with his full chest.
TBF, I don’t think tricking someone is the way to ger them to change or open their mind
I am what they call a liberal as well, but at this point, why are the people who lie, cheat and steal and protect pedos considered the conservatives? Make it make sense.
YATA. You picked a concept that confuses lots of people and most likely he thought you were talking about Islam. BTW, zero was first used in India and the concept of zero was first used by the Mayans, even before the concept was used in India. Arabs merely introduced the concept to the west due to trading. Regardless, you used a gotcha moment to show how ignorant your husband is and how dumb you are;you are willing to win regardless of the consequences.
Absolutely NTA, do it more
So instead of explaining out what qualifies as Arabic numerals and having discussion about it like two adults who are allowed to disagree, you try a deceit tactic and then put it on social media to find justification in an echo chamber? Mhm
NTA. Not sure why you’re with him but that’s on you.
Your husband is biased and your pointing it out is not deceitful. He needs to look in the mirror at himself.
I wonder how your husband will react if one of your kids has an abortion or comes out of the closet. That’s what you should ask him.
How did you two ever get together at all. If your beliefs are so diverse that you must resort to tricking him to make a point, why bother.
Yep, YTA.
NTA, he’s just pissed off because you were successful in pointing out his egregious biases.
I would love for you to explain how you and so many other women can be with men who have this serious cognitive bias around so many things… doesn’t it show up as a red flag and so many ways? Don’t you have a hard time even discussing things with him because he goes illogical? how can that even work?!
How do you even talk about things like finances when he will only believe things that Trump says, and not the actual statistics? thanks, if you’re willing to respond.
ESH.
He’s a dumbass who got mad because you pointed out irrefutably how dumb he is.
You because supporting someone conservative is, well… you see the other comments. Pot, kettle, etc.
“I don’t like football, but my husband does!” is very different to “I don’t support rapists, but my husband does!”.
What could you possibly expect? I am so tired of these so called ‘liberal’ women in relationships with bigots, that alone says so much about them yet they stay?