I (f27) and Jane (40ish) we are in healthcare but in way different fields and areas. She’s new so we don’t know much bout each other but others in the building know I’m autistic and bc of it I’m not very social with strangers and I don’t see/feel humor in certain stuff. I take my job VERY serious been here since early 20s. I went on break last night and she was there along with another person. She starts talking about how she misses her old place and how she would tell her people she cared for “dont push the call light” and after she would pinch their oxygen tube. That sat sour with me and I couldn’t ignore. 🚩 so I turned it in automatically. Corporate comes back to me telling me she said it was ALL just a JoKe and it was the relationship she had with her old person she took care of and left it at that and now this women mean mugs me and she made a mess in my work area tonight after I JUST cleaned it. It made me feel stupid and like I overreacted but I just want my people safe.. i don’t see how abuse is funny or a joke.. I wish I could go elsewhere for work but it’s so hard leaving people that I grew older with too and the jobs market is horrible in my area
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I (f27) and Jane (40ish) we are in healthcare but in way different fields and areas. She’s new so we don’t know much bout each other but others in the building know I’m autistic and bc of it I’m not very social with strangers and I don’t see/feel humor in certain stuff. I take my job VERY serious been here since early 20s. I went on break last night and she was there along with another person. She starts talking about how she misses her old place and how she would tell her people she cared for “dont push the call light” and after she would pinch their oxygen tube. That sat sour with me and I couldn’t ignore. 🚩 so I turned it in automatically. Corporate comes back to me telling me she said it was ALL just a JoKe and it was the relationship she had with her old person she took care of and left it at that and now this women mean mugs me and she made a mess in my work area tonight after I JUST cleaned it. It made me feel stupid and like I overreacted but I just want my people safe.. i don’t see how abuse is funny or a joke.. I wish I could go elsewhere for work but it’s so hard leaving people that I grew older with too and the jobs market is horrible in my area
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. Am I the asshole for turning her in even if it was JUST a joke? I don’t see how something like that would be counted as a joke because of it being counted as abuse in a medical work place. 2. A lot of people now with stuff are like “ooooh it’s just a joke” so it’s like am I an asshole for doing it even if it was a joke? Bc to me it didn’t seem like it and with all my training I’m starting to overthink it
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Definitely NTA. Joking or not, what a completely inappropriate, stupid thing to say in front of new people at a new job. You did the right thing.
nta that’s a fucked up joke. but corporate never should have disclosed who made the complaint if they want an efficient working group.
NTA and if I’m every on your floor needing care please do not let them in my room. You did what you should have and HR did not.
NTA but she is and I seriously doubt it was a joke. Keep a log of her retaliation and report it whenever you want.
Maybe it was a joke, but you didn’t know that.
She’s just sour because she probably got told “watch your mouth”.
If she does more stuff like messing up your work station, and it’s very definitely deliberate, I would document it, and if it continues more than 2-3 times, I would absolutely let HR know about the retaliation.
NTA!
There’s no such things as overreacted when you’re looking out for others. They investigated and didn’t find anything, thankfully, but it could have gone the other way. You did the right thing and she’s TAH. Tell her that
If this ever happens again, tell the person (or tell HR) they need to explain the joke and how/why it is funny.
Patients in healthcare already feel so vulnerable. They don’t need a caregiver making it worse. And I say this as someone who typically has a morbid sense of humor. I was in the hospital for two weeks in May and often joked with my caregivers but I would have been so upset if they said or did something like that.
You did the right thing. HR did not. Document anything this coworker does that you think is retaliatory. Have an objective outsider review it if that helps you. Then give that to HR, in writing, if it is warranted. If any patients say anything to you about this coworker, any concerns or complaints, encourage them to report it to the charge nurse or patient advocate or whoever is the right role. HR may blow off an employee complaint but hopefully they listen to patients.
Definitely NTA
NTA that is fucked!
NTA. You work in healthcare and these kinds of jokes just aren’t acceptable, let alone funny. You’d be an AH for NOT turning them in. It’s just so disrespectful to speak about patients this way and people already have a lack of trust in the system so people really need to step up on not being callous like this. I work in disability so kinda adjacent and I would also turn someone in for speaking disrespectfully about clients whether joking or not. Unfortunately it is such a problem across all areas of healthcare and caregiving, it’s pretty sad how acceptable it seems to be.
NTA report her again for harassing you over that first report. im going out on a limb based on her reaction and saying it wasn’t a joke at all