AITA for using a handicap bathroom at the movies?

r/

I (35f) went to see a movie a couple of years ago and after the final credits rolled, went to the bathroom. There were maybe 5 stalls and 1 handicap stall (6 total). There was a line waiting to use the restroom, when it was my turn, the first stall to open up was the handicap stall. I did a brief scan behind me to see if I saw anyone with a visible handicap (look I know not all handicaps are visible but when I had been holding the go to see the full movie, this is the best I got) but the 5+ behind me were not. I went in did my business, flushed. As I was zipping up, a lady knocked on the door. I quickly opened up and an older lady with a neck brace (but no cane, no walker, no wheelchair) gave me a very disappointed look and informed me that it “was against the law to use a handicap stall if you’re not handicapped.” I apologized for being in her way and went to wash my hands.
I am not concerned about the legality of using a handicap stall, but was honestly curious in this particular scenario if I should have waited to use a regular stall?

Comments

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    I (35f) went to see a movie a couple of years ago and after the final credits rolled, went to the bathroom. There were maybe 5 stalls and 1 handicap stall (6 total). There was a line waiting to use the restroom, when it was my turn, the first stall to open up was the handicap stall. I did a brief scan behind me to see I saw anyone with a visible handicap (look I know not all handicaps are visible but when I had been holding the go to see the full movie, this is the best I got) but the 5+ behind me were not. I went in did my business, flushed. As I was zipping up, a lady knocked on the door. I quickly opened up and an older lady with a neck brace (but no cane, no walker, no wheelchair) gave me a very disappointed look and informed me that it “was against the law to use a handicap stall if you’re not handicapped.” I apologized for being in her way and went to wash my hands.
    I am not concerned about the legality of using a handicap stall, but was honestly curious in this particular scenario if I should have waited to use a regular stall?

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  2. MACRS_or_Break Avatar

    NTA.

    I think it’s fine to use a handicapped stall if there are no other options.

    Also, regardless or whether it’s asshole or not, it’s definitely not ILLEGAL.

  3. Judgement_Bot_AITA Avatar

    Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment.

    OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:

    > I (35f) went to see a movie a couple of years ago and after the final credits rolled, went to the bathroom. There were maybe 5 stalls and 1 handicap stall (6 total). There was a line waiting to use the restroom, when it was my turn, the first stall to open up was the handicap stall. I did a brief scan behind me to see if I saw anyone with a visible handicap (look I know not all handicaps are visible but when I had been holding the go to see the full movie, this is the best I got) but the 5+ behind me were not. I went in did my business, flushed. As I was zipping up, a lady knocked on the door. I quickly opened up and an older lady with a neck brace (but no cane, no walker, no wheelchair) gave me a very disappointed look and informed me that it “was against the law to use a handicap stall if you’re not handicapped.” I apologized for being in her way and went to wash my hands.
    I am not concerned about the legality of using a handicap stall, but was honestly curious in this particular scenario if I should have waited to use a regular stall?

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  4. jawshankredemption94 Avatar

    It’s handicap accessible, not handicap only. Lady sounds crazy

  5. HocestIocus Avatar

    NTA. It’s already fine to use those stalls, but especially if there’s a line. Otherwise you’ll hold up a line until someone else pushes past you to use it anyways. Sure if it’s an empty bathroom use a different stall if you’re able to, but when it’s the only option just use it

  6. yo_mo_mama Avatar

    NTA. You were probably in and out in 20 seconds. Plus, not all handicaps are visible.

  7. Electrical-Ad-1798 Avatar

    NTA, it’s not like a parking spot, anyone is allowed to use it.

  8. floydfan Avatar

    NTA. Not against the law. Handicapped accessible, not handicap required.

  9. xAnnie3000 Avatar

    The handicap stall is first come first serve. It’s not meant to sit unused, and the handicapped aren’t entitled never to wait for a stall.

    Handicap parking exists because it is dangerous for someone in a wheelchair or otherwise impaired to navigate a parking lot.

    Waiting to use the bathroom like everyone else, however, doesn’t pose any risk…

    NTA

  10. assyduous Avatar

    NTA! Full time wheelchair user here and the only times I think someone is TA is if they take the handicap stall when they don’t need it and there are other ones open AND they take a 100 years in there. I have absolutely had to piss in another stall with the door open because my chair wouldn’t fit in, the person wouldn’t come out of the accessible stall, and it was that or the floor.

  11. zealot_ratio Avatar

    I’m going to go out on a limb and say NAH. You obviously did nothing wrong. Obviously not the AH. This ladt is a grayer area. If the extent of your interaction was just her comment, I think it’s possibly it’s still in the realm of “she misunderstood the law” as opposed to being a jerk. If she had blown up and made a big deal, then she would be the AH. Given that other handicapped designated things like parking spaces are reserved for sole use by law, I think it’s reasonable (even though we know better) people might be confused by similarly designated stalls. Confusion is not enough to be an AH to me, unless she was mean about it. Regardless ydid nothing wrong, and handled it with grace.

  12. Impossible_Smile4113 Avatar

    Against the law? Pshaw, someone’s making up bs as they go along. Using the first available stall is how you keep the line moving and bladders from popping. But making stuff up to try to bully someone out of a handicap stall in a very busy bathroom is how someone gets a faceful of doody.

    NTA, but that lady is a massive one.

  13. stroppo Avatar

    NTA, I’ve done this in similar circumstances.

  14. KaldaraFox Avatar

    NTA – ADA accessible bathroom stalls are not exclusive in the way that parking spaces are. Anyone can use them.

  15. ISpewVitriol Avatar

    NTA. There is no law anywhere that I’m aware of restricting use of handicap restroom cells to only handicap people. There needs to be one at certain occupancy levels for a commercially zoned property but that is just a requirement of the building owner.

  16. TemptingPenguin369 Avatar

    NTA. It’s not illegal for anyone to use an accessible stall. You needed a quick post-movie pee, you didn’t see the woman in the neck brace, and you went on your way. And what was the point of her standing there complaining about you instead of just using the toilet?

  17. No-Assignment5538 Avatar

    NTA. This has been said before but clearly needs to be said again. The accessible bathroom stalls are not like handicap parking, they are not reserved for only handicapped persons. ANYONE can use the accessible bathroom stalls. Anyone making a fuss about it need to learn to mind their own business. For that matter, the person who was hassling you had no actual way to know if you had an invisible disability. For all she knew you have a colostomy bag.

  18. NeighborhoodWhich402 Avatar

    NTA.. when there is a line all stalls are in the rotation.

  19. NOTTHATKAREN1 Avatar

    It is not against the law to use a handicapped bathroom if you’re not handicapped. That’s just a ridiculous statement. Dumb actually. You were next in line. You saw that there were no handicapped ppl behind you. I will bet anything that she pushed to the front of the line because she thinks she was entitled to move to the front of the line & use it (she’s not). You did nothing wrong. You waited your turn & entered the next empty bathroom just like everyone else. I’m betting the person in there before you wasn’t handicapped either. And remember, the handicapped stall is for everyone. It is required by law to have a handicapped bathroom, but there is no law that says you must be handicapped to use it. I mean think about, there’s usually a baby changing station in the handicapped bathroom.

  20. the-warthawg Avatar

    “Against the law. 😂

    No. You are NTA.

  21. CriticalShoulder9840 Avatar

    Only if you left a big greasy unflushed turd

  22. Cayke_Cooky Avatar

    NTA, and polite of you to check behind you before going in.

  23. artemis1860 Avatar

    NTA.

    While you clearly mention in your post that you remember not all disabilities are visible, clearly she didn’t as she thought she could tell with a glance if you were or not. Spoiler: She couldn’t. Whether you are or not isn’t her business either, that’s private.

    I’d point out the flaw in her legality statement but plenty others already have.

  24. deannainwa Avatar

    NTA

    The handicapped stall is accessible, not reserved. She was way out of line.

    I use them if the rest are full, but like you, I check to see if anyone who can’t use a regular stall is present first.

  25. Safe_Requirement7879 Avatar

    They are called handicap accessible stalls, not handicap only stalls. It’s definitely not wrong or illegal.

  26. Boz6 Avatar
    1. It’s not illegal.
    2. You’re allowed to use a handicap stall, and it’s perfectly acceptable if all other stalls are in use.

    It’s completely different from using handicap parking where a permit is required.

  27. imkyliee Avatar

    nta, you had to do your business, you also checked to make sure there was no one in need of it that it’s meant for. i don’t think it’s against the law, those are also for woman with babies.

  28. throwitaway82721717 Avatar

    NTA. It isn’t illegal. They’re handicapped accessible, not handicapped only. That lady is also the one that parks in the handicapped spots using her husband’s placard and thinks that’s okay.

    I would have been petty and told her the neck brace doesn’t mean she’s handicapped, just that karma is real.

  29. Scrounger888 Avatar

    NTA. Disability does not mean that a person gets an express pass to pee.

    When stalls are empty, don’t use the handicap one. When there’s a line, all stalls are fair game as it helps more people pee promptly. There’s no law about that at all. Besides, you could have had a Disability that wasn’t visible and also needed the stall.

  30. BobsleddingToMyGrave Avatar

    NTA. I have to use the handicapped stall due to ankle and leg instability. I wait in line like everyone else. When I get to the front I tell people to go ahead of me until the handicap one opens up.

    If someone has a visual disability with a mobility aid like a wheel chair, walker, crutches or a knee scooter I’ll let them go ahead of me in line.

    Off topic, but I let people with little kids ahead of me in line. They will need the handicapped stall for more room for the kids.

    I wish more places had family restrooms.

  31. Hey-Just-Saying Avatar

    NTA. As someone who needs a handicapped stall, I find it annoying when people use the handicapped stall to poop when a regular one is available, (unless it’s a non-crowded venue where it’s probably not going to be needed) because they stay in there so long. Having said that, if there’s a long queue of people waiting to pee and no one steps up to request it, IMO it ought to be used by anyone in order to keep the line moving. When I’m in a queue and it’s my turn, I go stand by the handicapped stall until it’s available. It usually only takes people a minute to pee.

  32. LunaMay196 Avatar

    NTA

    It’s handicapped accessible not handicapped reserved. It’s not against the law to use a toilet that’s handicap accessible.

    There was a line, and all stalls were occupied. If all other stalls were open, then I’d say avoid using the handicapped accessible stall, but it’s there to be used by all. If there is a line and the bathroom is full, there’s nothing wrong with using it.

    You say you quickly finished and apologized for being in the way. You did more than necessary and were courteous. Like you said, not all handicaps are visible so why would this lady feel the need to lecture you (incorrectly) when you could have been handicapped yourself.

  33. Sensitive_Ad_9195 Avatar

    It’s not against the law and also how did they know you didn’t have an invisible disability??

  34. throwRA-nonSeq Avatar

    🙄 It’s not illegal.

    It’s not like, a parking space.

  35. melly3420 Avatar

    It’s not against the law but as a person in a wheel chair,it’s just very frustrating waiting for the ONE handicapped stall to open

  36. Careless-Ability-748 Avatar

    Nta it is not illegal to use it.

  37. LetsGo_Beach Avatar

    NTA, however if I see mom’s with kids, I let them go in there. They need more space for multiple people to fit.

  38. karenobus Avatar

    Why did she think she had the right to judge that you didn’t have a handicap? That was pretty audacious.

  39. Buffalo-Empty Avatar

    NTA.

    Handicap toilets are for everyone. The only time they aren’t is if you KNOW there’s someone there that needs to use it. Otherwise they wait in line like everyone else. Accessible toilets aren’t there so disabled don’t have to wait in line. They are there for accessibility.

    That lady needs to stfu and gtfo with her bs.

    Oh and just fyi: it is NOT illegal to use a handicap toilet if you’re able bodied lmao.

  40. gorwraith Avatar

    NTA. This same thing happened to me once. Accessible does not mean reserved. It’s a toilet not a parking space.

  41. Significant_Kiwi_608 Avatar

    You checked first, and there was nobody you saw who needed it. You made the effort of acknowledging that not all disabilities are visible yet the woman who tried to tell you it was illegal couldn’t even do that much – how did she know if you needed it or not?! NTA

    My bigger beef is when my kids were little and the change tables were in the handicap stalls and people got mad if moms use a handicap stall.

  42. Prestigious-Name-323 Avatar

    NTA

    The handicapped stall is not reserved for those who need it. It’s not a parking spot. And for all she knew, you needed it. Invisible disabilities exist.

  43. PotLuckyPodcast Avatar

    NTA. I’m disabled. The stall is handicap accessible, not handicap exclusive and you can tell people that if they challenge you. It isn’t like parking. 

    You shouldn’t go for it first if you don’t need it, but like people gotta shit and piss. You’re good. That lady wants to feel power in the world and that’s how she can do it. You’re not in the wrong.

  44. Liathnian Avatar

    NTA. All bathroom stalls are first come first serve. Law says they have to be available but doesn’t say who can use them or not. I mean if there is not a line up I will use a standard stall first but that’s just a courtesy. If there is a line or all other stalls are taken hell yeah I am using that stall.

  45. FrostyIcePrincess Avatar

    NTA

    Handicap stall is first come first served.

    It was empty, OP needed to use the bathroon.

  46. mamaMoonlight21 Avatar

    It is not against the law, lol. Your behavior was fine.

  47. Comfortable-Pay-4163 Avatar

    They are handicap accessible stalls, not handicap exclusive stalls. NTA.

  48. garyt1957 Avatar

    NTA. If there’s an open stall , use it. Why should a woman in a neck brace get to cut in front of you?

  49. dreamedbyarlene Avatar

    NTA. I use handicap stalls and my understanding is there is a queue for the using the restrooms. Whoever is in front of me can use whatever bathroom is accessible. The fact that I need to wait for that particular stall to be open to be able to use it is besides the point. NTA.

  50. HankThrill69420 Avatar

    NTA, unless you’re somewhere with lots of people who need that stall or see someone waiting who needs it, it’s fine to use the small apartment

  51. No-Buddy873 Avatar

    There’s no law saying a handicapped person doesn’t have to wait ! It is not illegal to use one if you’re not handicapped ! The theatre made a handicap stall available !

  52. _bufflehead Avatar

    Not illegal to use the handicap stall.

    It is illegal, however, to tell lies in the women’s room.

  53. Sure-Victory7172 Avatar

    NTA, it’s not against the law.

    I would’ve done the Mike Brady court tactic and dropped something loud to see if the person with the neck brace could turn her neck really fast and was just faking it 🤣🤣

  54. Thequiltedrose Avatar

    Unless you’re having serious digestive issues, you’ll only be in there for a minute or two which would really not inconvenience any one who really needs the handicap stall.

  55. darklogic85 Avatar

    NTA, and I actually don’t think she’s correct. That applies to handicap parking spaces, but I’m not aware of any laws regarding handicap bathroom stalls. Also, no, I don’t think you should have waited. If there’s a line, you just take first available, and like you said, you even checked behind you to see if anyone with a visible handicap was waiting. The way I see it, you did everything within reason to be accommodating and that’s all that can be expected.

  56. zed42 Avatar

    NTA. in a situation like that, you use what you can. if there were several available and you went for that one, then we can talk, but if there’s a line like that, then you get what you can and be efficient about your business.

    also, it’s not against the law to use a handicapped accessible stall (or low urinal!) if you’re not handicapped!

    this reminds me of the time a coworker got the same speech from a little person about using the low-mounted urinal

  57. H_Lunulata Avatar

    NTA

    The disabled stall is there with handbars, typically a taller toilet, and grab bars to assist people with mobility and other impairments.

    However, there’s nothing illegal or immoral about using one.

  58. caitie578 Avatar

    How did she know you didn’t have a handicap?

    NTA

  59. ConflictGullible392 Avatar

    NTA. She’s wrong, it’s not against the law. When there’s a line every stall gets used. Yes a disabled person who needs that specific stall should get priority, but if there’s no one like that present go ahead and use it. 

  60. BlueCarPinkJacket Avatar

    NTA Accessible stalls are for everyone and you did check behind you. While not all disabilities are visible, accessible stalls are made to accomodate mobility devices and people with physical disabilities. That is not to say these stalls are exclusively used by people with disabilities. I do agree that people using mobility devices should be given priority as they are only able to use the accessible stall, but not all disabilities require that stall. A person who is deaf or hard of hearing has an invisible disability, does that mean they get first dibs on the larger stall? No. This woman may prefer the larger stall and that’s perfectly fine, but she can wait in line like everyone else and then voice her preference and wait for it when she’s at the front of the line.

    Stop using the word “Handicap” though. That is outdated and ableist language. They are accessible stalls, barrier free washrooms, universal washrooms, etc.

  61. Such_Pomegranate_690 Avatar

    I don’t have anything to add that hasn’t been said, so here’s the handicapped bathroom scene from The IT Crowd. https://youtu.be/dDZzl9AyXeg?si=2J6DxMp8uo3Ph5oP

  62. bing-no Avatar

    It’s “handicap accessible” not “handicap reserved”. It would be illegal to park in a handicap parking spot, but not illegal to use a handicap ramp.

    A handicap stall is the latter, NTA

  63. Business_Case_7613 Avatar

    NTA.

    1. It is not against the law to use a handicap accessible stall. They are not the same as a parking spot.

    2. She is TA. I have an invisible disability. For all she knows, you could’ve had one too. I don’t think it’s ever appropriate to say something to someone coming out of a handicapped stall because you cannot tell if someone is disabled by looking at them. I’d have a few choice words for someone who decided to make that assumption about me.

    I personally am of the belief that you may as well assume everyone walking out of a disabled stall is in-fact disabled. There’s a good chance they are, you can’t tell. Even if they aren’t, getting mad at them for using the stall when they walk out won’t get you in there any sooner.

  64. joannamomo Avatar

    How did she know whether or not you were handicapped? That’s a disappointing assumption she made.

  65. walkinwater Avatar

    NTA. Businesses are obligated by laws to have a handicap stall available, they are not required to stay empty at all times or ONLY be used by a person with a designated disability.