My SO has his phone on YouTube videos or news all day long. It’s so annoying to me that it’s loud and always going. I’ve purchased him earbuds and he refuses to wear them. AITA for constantly turning it off because I prefer quiet and not constant noise?
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My SO has his phone on YouTube videos or news all day long. It’s so annoying to me that it’s loud and always going. I’ve purchased him earbuds and he refuses to wear them. AITA for constantly turning it off because I prefer quiet and not constant noise?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> His phone is constantly going and it’s loud. I turn it off every chance I get because I got him earbuds and he refuses to use them
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
I don’t think so. Sometimes you need a quiet house. That’s important to me too. And if I’m listening to something that the other person is not, I think it’s just common courtesy to wear earbuds.
NTA. Silence should be the default of a room with multiple people in.
He has the ability to listen via earbuds. You do not have the ability to NOT listen if played out loud
My wife will use AirPods if she’s watching something on her phone I have no interest in.
NTA. Wanting quiet is fair, and you even got him earbuds. If he won’t compromise, that’s on him, not you.
INFO: Did you talk to him about any discomfort he may have about wearing earbuds? Some people have allergic reaction with silicone in ear.
NTA my spouse does this with their podcast I get so overstimulated with that, the TV , and washer going in background
INFO
What do you mean all day long? How often are you together that it affects you so? Did you purchase the earbuds with a mutual understanding that he would use them(i.e he agreed to use them for this purpose)? How loud is it? Are there places in you house/apt that you can go to go away from the noise? When you turn it off is he actively watching/listening. Have you talked about this with your SO?
have you two talked about why he won’t wear them? Have you tried different earbuds/headphone types? Does he understand how extremely rude it is to anyone!? NTA silence and/or nature all the natural sounds of the world
NTA. I would have flushed the phone by now. Can’t believe you even bought the earbuds!
Tell him he needs to either wear the earbuds or be in a different room with the door closed.
NTA I am the same as you husband but I wear ear buds when he’s home
I have smaller than average ear canals. Earbuds are quite uncomfortable for any length of time. That said, I have a set of Bluetooth headphones I can wear for a couple of hours with no issue.
NTA. I asked my wife to wear earbuds because of the same thing. I have hearing aids so when she is listening to her phone over the phone speaker I can’t really hear anything and it’s super loud in my ears.
I got her some nice Beats ear buds and she actually prefers them over the phone speakers.
For wanting to not hear his videos???
NTA
Tho, buying him ear buds without talking to him first was probably not the best response. Not, a-hole behavior, it just makes me wonder what the communication is like in your marriage.
The questions people have for you in this thread don’t matter. There are a variety of ways he could hear his stuff and not bother you. And when you live with someone, roommate or partner, doing things like “forcing them to listen to shite they don’t want to listen to” is kind of a red flag.
I think that you need to be communicating with him (and him communicating back) instead of asking reddit. People here telling you that you’re not the a-hole isn’t goign to solve your problems.
Talk to your husband, and listen to him.
NTA but I’d definitely ask why he’s choosing not to consider you! My ears are too small for normal earbuds and some people are just uncomfortable. Maybe he’d be happier with over-the-ear 3.5mm headphones (old school)
NTA, but did he agree to wear earbuds and then refuse once you purchased them? Does he prefer earbuds or over-ear headphones?
I can’t wear standard earbuds due to the odd shape of my ears/ear canals and even the tiny kiddie earbuds are irritating after about half an hour. I would however wear over-ear headphones if needed.
Buy a load of cheap headphones and keep throwing them at him any time he starts a video. Keep going until there is at least 30 pairs of headphones in each room of the house
Put on some earplugs, I use them when I want to isolate myself from the world.
eh it’s a communal space so i think SOME compromise is in order. maybe don’t make him wear the headphones every single time he wants to listen to something, but he also should be willing to meet in the middle too.
NTA but what is his reason for not wearing them? I had earbuds but I now refuse to use them after the silicon bit came off and got stuck in my ear. Apparently that’s not uncommon. Now I wear the open ear type. My husband prefers a full on head set that totally encloses his ears.
NTA – playing your media on speaker is rude behavior if someone else is present. I’m so petty that if my SO refused this reasonable request, which you graciously provided a solution, I’d just start blasting my Spotify playlist throughout the house. Two can play at this game.
My husband does the same WHILE we are watching something so flipping annoying not TA
Try scrolling TikTok on full volume for an hour to give him an idea of how irritating it is.
NTA- As an avid news enjoyer who’s wife hates it, I wear buds when consuming media. Its really not hard to be a little courteous. If I’m sitting in my office with the door closed I’ll use the speakers but anywhere else in the house or car its one bud in so she doesn’t have to suffer through it.
ESH. Have a chat about sharing the space. I get wanting quiet. I get wanting to hear noise. “It’s my home” goes both ways. 😕
If earbuds are a no go, what of actual headphones?
NTA. My roommate used to do this with NPR of all things and oh my god I hate it so much. That said…
Does your SO dislike earbuds all the time, or just around the house? I absolutely hate the feeling of traditional earbuds. Apparently other people do to, because there’s a ton of options. He could use bone conduction (slight reduction in sound quality but it’s just Youtube and news so he’s probably not an audiophile). There’s also “open ear” clip on earbuds that I absolutely love. They position the speaker right outside your ear hole but don’t seal or intrude on it. Very nice option to have for me.
Thinking, does he have hearing problems? A wax plug or hearing loss due to age? Maybe he just needs to clean it.