I (18F) was invited to go to a renaissance fair with a couple of my friends. It would be me and two other couples. Before asking me, they made sure I wouldn’t mind being the 5th wheel (which I don’t). A few days after the couple that invited me (18F) and (18M) asked what I was thinking for my costume. I replied that I wanted to be a princess with a hennin. My friend replied that she was going to be the same thing, wearing a green dress. I said that I also wanted to be wearing green but would settle for blue since she had already decided. But they were both pretty against me being a princess, even if wearing a different color, their reason being that because it was couples costume for them (knight and princess) it would be weird if I also a princess. They also added that people wouldn’t be able to tell who was the couple between us. I feel like it’s not that serious. We suggested other costumes (I suggested being her lady-in-waiting, but she was very against that and they suggested I be a court jester or wizard but I would really like to wear a dress/something girly). By the end of the conversation it seemed like everyone was getting a little frustrated and my friend told me I could wear whatever I want and that it was my choice. But I’m not sure if she would still prefer me not to be a princess/be upset but me doing so. So wibta if I wore a (distinct) princess costume as well ?
Comments
^^^^AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! READ THIS COMMENT – DO NOT SKIM. This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything.
I (18F) was invited to go to a renaissance fair with a couple of my friends. It would be me and two other couples. Before asking me, they made sure I wouldn’t mind being the 5th wheel (which I don’t). A few days after the couple that invited me (18F) and (18M) asked what I was thinking for my costume. I replied that I wanted to be a princess with a hennin. My friend replied that she was going to be the same thing, wearing a green dress. I said that I also wanted to be wearing green but would settle for blue since she had already decided. But they were both pretty against me being a princess, even if wearing a different color, their reason being that because it was couples costume for them (knight and princess) it would be weird if I also a princess. They also added that people wouldn’t be able to tell who was the couple between us. I feel like it’s not that serious. We suggested other costumes (I suggested being her lady-in-waiting, but she was very against that and they suggested I be a court jester or wizard but I would really like to wear a dress/something girly). By the end of the conversation it seemed like everyone was getting a little frustrated and my friend told me I could wear whatever I want and that it was my choice. But I’m not sure if she would still prefer me not to be a princess/be upset but me doing so. So wibta if I wore a (distinct) princess costume as well ?
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I wanted wear the same thing as my friend, which might be stealing her thunder or being inconsiderate. Plus she had decided first.
Help keep the sub engaging!
Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ
Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA Your friend is acting like a 5yo at her birthday party.
NTA Arguing who gets to play the princess shouldn’t be a thing after the age of 6. Kind of telling that she seems insecure who’s going to be percieved as being with her boyfriend or not. Does she usually have jealous behaviors with you?
Sounds like your one friend has some insecurity and feels like you’d outshine her. Personally, I don’t think you wbta, it’s a ren-faire it’s really not that big of a deal.
NTA It’s a renaissance fair, it’s going to be full of knights, princesses, wizards and jesters. Your friends objections to your dress are as laughable as they are ridiculous.
NTA. Go as a fairy or elf princess, or even a queen cause she ain’t the boss of you, and you deserved to shine.
NTA. If you weren’t dressing up, how would people know who was the couple anyway.
NTA that’s wild. I’ve been to a lot of ren faire’s with groups, the only question has ever been whether we were gonna be in costume or not. Can’t imagine one of us trying to tell someone they can’t dress as they wish. Dress in what makes you happy, that’s what ren faire is for.
And I don’t think you’re going to holding hands/hanging off her boyfriend, it should be pretty obvious who he’s with, but also it doesn’t matter if someone can’t tell they’re dating just by glancing at your group. How silly. There are going to be tons of other princesses, is she worried someone will think a stranger is her boyfriend’s girlfriend?
My husband and our single friend have a similar go to garb with leather chest armor and leather bracers, I’ve never been worried that someone will think I’m married to our friend instead.
NTA,
Honestly ask yourself if this still sounds like fun. I would probably pass in your situation.
There will be a thousand other princesses there – dress however the hell you want!
What a weird thing to get upset over! She does know there are more than one princesses in the world right
NTA. Wouldn’t there be other people dressed as princesses at the fair too? Are they going to tell them not to dress up as such as well?
I’d be a queen or an empress. Let her be the princess if she wants that so bad.
NTA but if they’re being weird maybe it’s not a good idea to go with them?
Go as Queen Elizabeth I; she had no official partner during her reign
Go as a nun and be the bossy chaperone
if she wants to pout about not being the only princess at the fair it’s her own day she’s spoiling.
NTA, wear what you want.
NTA, and I highly recommend going as the faerie queen Titania.
NTA, your friend is being ridiculous.
NTA your friends sound like toddlers
NTA. There will be a lot of princesses there – because in ye olde times, everyone was a princess. Go as you want – but they sound like the kind of people who are going to hold it against you. Be prepared for that.
If she NEEDS it to be very obvious that HER knight is HER date, she needs to get a handkerchief, ribbon, or small scarf/shawl the matches her outfit to tie to his arm as her ‘favor’.
You are NTA! Dress as thou pleaseth!