I am a 43 old women with one younger brother and sister. Our parents divorced whe were teenagers, and our father soon met a new partner. She had a daughter my age. We got along well, though, our stepmother wasn’t always trustworthy-once she told my dad she’d quit smoking, but when he found cigarettes, she blamed my 13-year-old sister.
But mostley, things were fine.
After 20 years together our father decided to marry her. She had no financial means, and he wanted to make sure she wouldn’t be left with nothing if something happened to him. We, his three children, understood and agreed. He didn’t have much but wanted fairness for everyone.
Eight years ago, three years after the wedding, our father passed away suddenly. We were in our early thirties, shocked and had never organized a funeral before. Our stepsister, who worked at a bank, offered to handle all the paperwork so we could focus on the funeral. We discussed everything in a WhatsApp group.
One day, she sent us a document to sign with copies of our IDs. She said it would allow our stepmother access to their frozen bank accounts to pay funeral costs. Trusting her, we all signed. We never met a notary, and the bank never contacted us.
Days after the funeral, official papers arrived stating there were four heirs: our stepmother and the three of us. I asked my stepmother if we needed to see a notary. She said no-we had already signed to let her handle the money and that there wasn’t much. I believed her.
Weeks later, documents revealed there was more money than she claimed. When I confronted her, she laughed and said everything was now in her name. We had signed, and we’d get nothing. She insulted my sister and me several times. We both cut off contact.
Our father wanted to protect her, not to leave everything to her and her daughter while we, his children, got nothing. My brother avoided conflict and did nothing. We assumed it was too late and that we’d lost everything.
Last week, our grandfather on our mother’s side passed away. During talks about that inheritance, I realized something had been wrong with my father’s. I learned that in my country, you can only legally renounce an inheritance through a notary or court- something we never did. If we never officially renounced it, we still have a legal right to our share.
My sister and I now want to investigate and possibly claim what’s ours. Our brother says our father wouldn’t have wanted that and threatens to cause trouble if we proceed.
Side note: my brother earns well; my sister is disabled after an accident, and I’m a single mother. We could both use the money. And we truly believe our father never meant for us to receive nothing while everything went to our stepmother and stepsister.
Are we the assholes for trying to claim our rightful share? We only want what legally belongs to us-our brother can decide for himself.
Comments
^^^^AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! READ THIS COMMENT – DO NOT SKIM. This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything.
I am a 43 old women with one younger brother and sister. Our parents divorced whe were teenagers, and our father soon met a new partner. She had a daughter my age. We got along well, though, our stepmother wasn’t always trustworthy-once she told my dad she’d quit smoking, but when he found cigarettes, she blamed my 13-year-old sister.
But mostley, things were fine.
After 20 years together our father decided to marry her. She had no financial means, and he wanted to make sure she wouldn’t be left with nothing if something happened to him. We, his three children, understood and agreed. He didn’t have much but wanted fairness for everyone.
Eight years ago, three years after the wedding, our father passed away suddenly. We were in our early thirties, shocked and had never organized a funeral before. Our stepsister, who worked at a bank, offered to handle all the paperwork so we could focus on the funeral. We discussed everything in a WhatsApp group.
One day, she sent us a document to sign with copies of our IDs. She said it would allow our stepmother access to their frozen bank accounts to pay funeral costs. Trusting her, we all signed. We never met a notary, and the bank never contacted us.
Days after the funeral, official papers arrived stating there were four heirs: our stepmother and the three of us. I asked my stepmother if we needed to see a notary. She said no-we had already signed to let her handle the money and that there wasn’t much. I believed her.
Weeks later, documents revealed there was more money than she claimed. When I confronted her, she laughed and said everything was now in her name. We had signed, and we’d get nothing. She insulted my sister and me several times. We both cut off contact.
Our father wanted to protect her, not to leave everything to her and her daughter while we, his children, got nothing. My brother avoided conflict and did nothing. We assumed it was too late and that we’d lost everything.
Last week, our grandfather on our mother’s side passed away. During talks about that inheritance, I realized something had been wrong with my father’s. I learned that in my country, you can only legally renounce an inheritance through a notary or court- something we never did. If we never officially renounced it, we still have a legal right to our share.
My sister and I now want to investigate and possibly claim what’s ours. Our brother says our father wouldn’t have wanted that and threatens to cause trouble if we proceed.
Side note: my brother earns well; my sister is disabled after an accident, and I’m a single mother. We could both use the money. And we truly believe our father never meant for us to receive nothing while everything went to our stepmother and stepsister.
Are we the assholes for trying to claim our rightful share? We only want what legally belongs to us-our brother can decide for himself.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I want to know if i am the asshole for claiming my share of an inharitance 8 years after my father passing and my stepmother thinking she has all his money
Help keep the sub engaging!
Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ
Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Take your step mom to court and get your money!! Her and step sister are shady af and don’t deserve to keep it all!!!
NTA. Your step mother committed fraud. She deserves not a penny.
Absolutely nta, I would go see a lawyer straight away and get this taken care of. If you have screenshots of the messages with your step sister even better, there may be a case for further action against her as she misrepresented the paperwork purposely
NTA. Your father wanted you to inherit too, which is why he didn’t cut you out completely. Your father would want you to challenge the documents.
After this much time, you may not be able to challenge the will. I would suggest that you contact an attorney.
NTA.
Get what was meant for you.
Lawyer up!! Did you keep the messages? You can use those to show your stepmother AND stepsister committed fraud. Go scorched earth!!
NTA
NTA. You should have talked to a lawyer the minute your step mother said it was all hers.
NTA. She is a thief, treat her like one.
NTA you should also report your stepsister. She used her banking knowledge to defraud you.
NTA Your brother is being daft. Your fathers wishes were what he wanted. Your brother just doesn’t want the hassle because he doesn’t need the money.
I’m probably going to get downvoted but I’m going to say EAH. First off, never sign anything without reading it first and if you don’t understand it get a lawyer involved. Secondly, is there even any money left for you to get at this point or are you trying to get blood from a stone?