My ex and I got a cat while we were living together. We bought him a scratcher, got him vaccinated, etc. When we broke up (back in June), we agreed that he would keep the cat until the end of summer.
In November, I called to settle things. He told me the cat was fine, they had bonded and he loved him very much but if I really wanted, I could take him. We agreed he would keep him since the cat got used to the environment
Today I found out he actually threw our INDOOR cat outside. I only found out because I had my friend text him (I would have done it but he has a history of ignoring my calls and texts. It took me six months and contacting his dad just to get the rest of my stuff back).
My friend told him I wanted to take the cat to my place as well as the scratcher. She asked him why he didn’t text me when he realized he could not take care of him.
His response?
“Tell her I’ll give the scratcher to a friend I promised it to. As for the cat, I threw him out a long time ago so she can go look for him herself. He wanted to go out so I let him. He begs for food at a restaurant and hangs out in the neighborhood. If she wants him so much, she can come and look for him.”
When my friend said “okay, but she isn’t going to be happy with this” , he replied:
“I know she isn’t, that’s what makes it even better.”
Now I feel guilty. I would NEVER have left my cat if I had known he would do smh like this. I already have two cats and I’m gonna go look for him.
Soo.. AITA for wanting to take him back now?
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My ex and I got a cat while we were living together. We bought him a scratcher, got him vaccinated, etc. When we broke up (back in June), we agreed that he would keep the cat until the end of summer.
In November, I called to settle things. He told me the cat was fine, they had bonded and he loved him very much but if I really wanted, I could take him. We agreed he would keep him since the cat got used to the environment
Today I found out he actually threw our INDOOR cat outside. I only found out because I had my friend text him (I would have done it but he has a history of ignoring my calls and texts. It took me six months and contacting his dad just to get the rest of my stuff back).
My friend told him I wanted to take the cat to my place as well as the scratcher. She asked him why he didn’t text me when he realized he could not take care of him.
His response?
“Tell her I’ll give the scratcher to a friend I promised it to. As for the cat, I threw him out a long time ago so she can go look for him herself. He wanted to go out so I let him. He begs for food at a restaurant and hangs out in the neighborhood. If she wants him so much, she can come and look for him.”
When my friend said “okay, but she isn’t going to be happy with this” , he replied:
“I know she isn’t, that’s what makes it even better.”
Now I feel guilty. I would NEVER have left my cat if I had known he would do smh like this. I already have two cats and I’m gonna go look for him.
Soo.. AITA for wanting to take him back now?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I did not take the cat right away so I feel somewhat responsible for this
Also I believed him when he said he would take care of it when I could have guessed he would not
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
In literally no world would looking for your cat make you an ah
He is using the cat to get to you. I’m not even sure what he’s saying is true–if he ‘threw the cat out months ago’ why would he have kept the scratcher so long?
If he’s not taking care of the cat then there’s no issue with you taking it in, but I would first take it to the vet and make sure it doesn’t have an illness that can be passed on to your other cats, especially if he really did put the cat out.
If the cat is your last connection to him, you either need to get the cat or let it go, because this man is playing games. Maybe you play games, too, I don’t know, but it’s very clear from the responses that HE plays games, and you need to get as far away from that as possible.
NTA
NTA, go get your cat.
Not at all. Your ex was cruel and irresponsible if you find your cat, you’re absolutely right to take him back and give him a safe home.
NTA
That cat deserves better, and so do you. Go get him back. Wrap him in a towel burrito. Feed him treats. Let him forget that man ever existed!!!
NTA…Both you AND the cat deserve better than this guy.
This seems to be an act of petty revenge on your exes part taken out on an innocent cat, NTA
Edit: that is to say he let the cat out knowing it would make you angry. Hence why he said “i know she isnt, thats what makes it even better”
He is an absolute asshole — selfish, irresponsible, and, to say the least, an animal abuser.
NTA
Also your ex needs to go to jail. What he did is animal abuse.
You claim you want it back, but you just spent ten or fifteen minutes writing that.
That time could have been used looking for the cat and then telling us about it, once found.
NTA: Go get the cat and never even acknowlege this man again. Also once you find the cat, give it food water and take it to the vets asap. Also tell the vet and animal shelters about this person so they can put him under do not let adopt file and let them report him to animal curlity services.
I need to know if you found your kitty. Please, updateme
Why are you asking this? Who is calling you an asshole here ?
Go get your cat. You thought you were doing the right thing by that baby. Please update me and tell me you got her. Please.
Obviously NTA.
You need to get your cat back and report his abuse and abandonment of the animal.
However, before you do that, make sure the cat was actually left out on the street. He seems the ugly kind of person who would still have the cat and lie about it to send you go off on a wild goose chase. Maybe go the the authorities with your witness about what your ex- said. Let the police accompany you to check whether the cat is still there.
NTA.
Go get your cat, get the screenshots of the texts admitting animal abuse, and press charges. This is disgusting behavior.
In november, in 2 months? Or last year and this is almost a year ago?
YTA. You need to leave this man if you want your cats to be safe. Either you need to leave him or you need to give up your cats. Because he is an animal abuser. These two things are not able to be worked out because he is a liar and manipulative and abusive.
I suspect he’s lying
This is just a really wierd question. It’s obvious your ex-boyfriend is an ass. And your question is : am I an ass for wanting to have my cat back that has been abused and abandon by him?
I mean come on seriously what kind of question is that? In what world could that be seen as being an ass? YTA for posting a question where you are obviously not the ass.
Have you gone and looked for the cat? Rather than asking reddit if you are the AH for wanting to take him back, you should be out looking for the poor cat. Who cares about the scratcher? You can always get another scratcher. It’s the cat you should be concerned about. An indoor cat that is suddenly on the street will have difficulty caring for itself and protecting itself.
Hopefully you will update us with good news that you found the cat.
I mean, you left the cat. You did that. Go see if you can find the poor thing and learn from this.
ESH