So yesterday I was chatting with my friend who I’m really close to, we were talking about usual stuff and I had an idea to do a colab art where I draw one character they do the other, they said it was a good idea, a few moments later they reply “nvm” because their wifi cut out, a few minutes later my brother called me so that we can visit my mom’s grave, I failed to say to them that we were going to the cemetery. I brought my phone but didn’t use it during that time. After about an hour we go home, open my phone and see that they had texted me saying if I’m still looking for a colab reference, immediately after they say their interest flew away, and then this “fuck that and fuck you” that I’m “taking longer than Odysseus’ way back to Penelope” I reply finally disappointed, explaining why I was gone, but me being me Idk how to explain shit, they assume I wasted their time and that they lost “precious battery life” another argument and I just take the L at the argument and leave. I try to talk in the morning, no reply all day, only getting a note very much directed at me. So. Am I the asshole here.
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So yesterday I was chatting with my friend who I’m really close to, we were talking about usual stuff and I had an idea to do a colab art where I draw one character they do the other, they said it was a good idea, a few moments later they reply “nvm” because their wifi cut out, a few minutes later my brother called me so that we can visit my mom’s grave, I failed to say to them that we were going to the cemetery. I brought my phone but didn’t use it during that time. After about an hour we go home, open my phone and see that they had texted me saying if I’m still looking for a colab reference, immediately after they say their interest flew away, and then this “fuck that and fuck you” that I’m “taking longer than Odysseus’ way back to Penelope” I reply finally disappointed, explaining why I was gone, but me being me Idk how to explain shit, they assume I wasted their time and that they lost “precious battery life” another argument and I just take the L at the argument and leave. I try to talk in the morning, no reply all day, only getting a note very much directed at me. So. Am I the asshole here.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. Leaving them with no reply and wasting their time.
2. Wasting their time when we were supposed to do something.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. a friend doesn’t say ”fuck you”. drop them.
NTA. You dodged a bullet there! Anyone who lacks patience and acts hastily isn’t someone you want to collaborate with. Take the opportunity—take the win.
NTA. I hate the entitlement that people have to other people’s time. Do we all have cell phones? Yes. Are they likely close to us at all times? Yes. Does that mean I’m obligated to message back someone immediately? No.
You can say why, but also you don’t have to. Nobody is entitled to your time. You’re allowed to be on your phone scrolling mindlessly and ignoring everyone if you want. You’re not obligated to respond in a time that they deem reasonable.
Thru told you never mind that there wifi wasn’t working..how you duppossed to l ow if it darted working so soon
Friends don’t treat friends that way. I wouldn’t tolerate anyone doing this to me. They’d be out of my life quicker than it takes Hermes and his little winged sandals to deliver a message.
NTA
NTA. It’s texting. You reply when you want/can.
Would it be rude to leave mid conversation on a phone call? Yes, bc the whole thing about a call is having direct real time contact.
Texting is of a different nature.
“I was at a cemetery and my phone was on silent. I thought about our collaboration and decided I didn’t have the time to put into that kind of project.” Then drop the inconsiderate, selfish, self centered ass hat as a friend.
NTA
I have online friends in the art community. Guess what happens when we talk about collabs (or even just in general), but then someone gets busy and doesn’t reply for a bit? WE ACCEPT THAT LIFE HAPPENS AND JUST WAIT. gasps I know! How shocking! Worst case if we don’t get a response within 48hrs we send a follow message that is usually just something like “just checking in, you know, in case the app ate your notification” to make sure someone didn’t just forget to respond. But then we wait again until they get back to us.
Tldr; We don’t pressure people for responses right away. We wait because life outside of the internet/phone comes first, as it should.
INFO: in this instance? 99% NTA. But it doesn’t take a lot of effort to say “hey in case your internet returns, I’ve headed out for now”. Since this seemingly didn’t cross your mind, I am worried this is a “thing” with you. Do your friends often complain about this?
That’s not a friend.
Cell phones have made people THINK they have the right to unlimited access. It’s intrusive, fucked up, and ruins relationships. Back before technology replaced actual face time with people, we had to WAIT and find something else to do. You are NOT the AH. Your “friends” are. It’s not like you blew a head gasket when they had their own wireless issues…lol