I (F20) have two roommates, Jena and Claire, both also F20. I lived with Jena last year, and I adore her—we’re best friends. Living with her has always been easy and fun. This year, we decided to bring in a third roommate to help with rent because, you know, broke college students. That’s where Claire comes in. Claire is fine as a roommate. Shes clean and keeps to herself. But personality-wise we couldn’t be more different. I’m a lesbian theatre major, I talk in references, I’m pretty loud, and I’m an outgoing person. Claire is a Christian, marketing-major sorority girl. Now, I have no problem with religion or sororities, some of my closest friends are religious or in Greek life, but Claire and I just don’t get along.
Oh, and her boyfriend is genuinely one of the worst people I’ve ever met (okay, slight exaggeration, but I really don’t like him). He’s homophobic and has made it painfully clear that he doesn’t like me. I’ve barely said two words to the guy, but any time we’re in the same room, he’s glaring at me like my existence personally offends him. The first time he came over, he literally said to Claire, “You sure you feel comfortable living with her? Make sure to lock your door at night.”
I mostly avoid talking to Claire. My TV is in the living room since I’m the only one who owns one, and I genuinely don’t mind sharing it, so I do occasionally run into her in the common areas. Usually, we just exchange a “hi” and move on.
Fast-forward to last night: I got home after a long, exhausting day and just wanted to eat some pizza and watch Orange is the New Black. Like I said, I’m a huge lesbian. I love women and queer media, so naturally, a lot of the shows I watch have lesbian characters. Most aren’t as raunchy as OITNB, but that’s the one I’m hyperfixated on right now. I was just minding my own business, watching one of the, uh, spicier scenes (with Nicky so you know I was invested), when Claire and her boyfriend walked in. They didn’t say anything and just went straight to her room. I didn’t think anything of it and eventually went to bed.
This morning, I was in the kitchen packing my lunch when Claire came in and laid into me. She said I was disgusting for “watching lesbian porn in the common area on a TV we all have to use” (as if I’d somehow cursed the screen with lesbian cooties). I was caught off guard at first, then realized she must have been talking about last night. I explained that I was watching Orange is the New Black, a TV show, but she doubled down, saying she and her boyfriend “didn’t sign up to be forced to watch my lesbian shit.”
I didn’t sign up to live with a homophobe, so I guess we’re all shit outta luck.
I left soon after that because I was super uncomfortable, but honestly? I don’t think I’m the asshole for watching a show I like in my own home, especially on a TV that I own.
So, Reddit… AITA for watching my lesbian shit in the common area?
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I (F20) have two roommates, Jena and Claire, both also F20. I lived with Jena last year, and I adore her—we’re best friends. Living with her has always been easy and fun. This year, we decided to bring in a third roommate to help with rent because, you know, broke college students. That’s where Claire comes in. Claire is fine as a roommate. Shes clean and keeps to herself. But personality-wise we couldn’t be more different. I’m a lesbian theatre major, I talk in references, I’m pretty loud, and I’m an outgoing person. Claire is a Christian, marketing-major sorority girl. Now, I have no problem with religion or sororities, some of my closest friends are religious or in Greek life, but Claire and I just don’t get along.
Oh, and her boyfriend is genuinely one of the worst people I’ve ever met (okay, slight exaggeration, but I really don’t like him). He’s homophobic and has made it painfully clear that he doesn’t like me. I’ve barely said two words to the guy, but any time we’re in the same room, he’s glaring at me like my existence personally offends him. The first time he came over, he literally said to Claire, “You sure you feel comfortable living with her? Make sure to lock your door at night.”
I mostly avoid talking to Claire. My TV is in the living room since I’m the only one who owns one, and I genuinely don’t mind sharing it, so I do occasionally run into her in the common areas. Usually, we just exchange a “hi” and move on.
Fast-forward to last night: I got home after a long, exhausting day and just wanted to eat some pizza and watch Orange is the New Black. Like I said, I’m a huge lesbian. I love women and queer media, so naturally, a lot of the shows I watch have lesbian characters. Most aren’t as raunchy as OITNB, but that’s the one I’m hyperfixated on right now. I was just minding my own business, watching one of the, uh, spicier scenes (with Nicky so you know I was invested), when Claire and her boyfriend walked in. They didn’t say anything and just went straight to her room. I didn’t think anything of it and eventually went to bed.
This morning, I was in the kitchen packing my lunch when Claire came in and laid into me. She said I was disgusting for “watching lesbian porn in the common area on a TV we all have to use” (as if I’d somehow cursed the screen with lesbian cooties). I was caught off guard at first, then realized she must have been talking about last night. I explained that I was watching Orange is the New Black, a TV show, but she doubled down, saying she and her boyfriend “didn’t sign up to be forced to watch my lesbian shit.”
I didn’t sign up to live with a homophobe, so I guess we’re all shit outta luck.
I left soon after that because I was super uncomfortable, but honestly? I don’t think I’m the asshole for watching a show I like in my own home, especially on a TV that I own.
So, Reddit… AITA for watching my lesbian shit in the common area?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. I watched an orange is the new black sex scene in the common area in my apartment 2. I watched something that makes my roomate and her boyfriend uncomfortable
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
>I didn’t sign up to live with a homophobe, so I guess we’re all shit outta luck.
Please tell me you said this out loud.
As a straight guy, NTA. You’re entitled to watch your favorite shows on your TV in your own home.
NTA. Claire and her boyfriend sure sound like homophobes though. I mean confirmed on the boyfriend’s part based on your post, but I doubt Claire has better views based on how she responded to a scene from OITNB. Like…what? Would she be just as offended if it were a cishet couple behaving similarly in a scene?
I think I know my answer.
YTA. Would you be ok having your roommate watch something you found offensive in the comments area? Nope.
NTA. At all. And Claire’s boyfriend isn’t a tenant, so he gets precisely zero say in anything.
> I didn’t sign up to live with a homophobe, so I guess we’re all shit outta luck.
NTA
Clear NTA. I cannot emphasis how much your housemate is the AH without getting another two-week holiday.
NTA. Next time she’s watching The Notebook or whatever the straights these days are into, be sure to tell her that it’s pretty disgusting of her to be parading her straight porn in a common area and that you didn’t sign up to have the hetero agenda forced down your throat.
NTA, they’re obviously terrible. That being said, I think there’s some space for reflection that not everyone is as comfortable with sexual material, beyond homophobia. If she was watching steamy movies on the tv in common, then she’s a hypocrite, but if not there may be some minor middle ground here in terms of figuring out what everyone’s comfortable with in common areas. Lesbian content in general I would not compromise on. But sexual content is a broader conversation. And that’s from someone who like OITNB. But if they’re raising the same issue about watching, I don’t know, an Indigo Girls video that’s absolutely unsexual, then it’s not reasonable. I think however, even with monsters, a responsibility of consent for sexual content exists. That being said, I doubt the bf has a problem with sex, just non-hetero sex.
NTA and move the tv to your room!
I would advise to move your tv to your room. If asked, you just want to watch your shows in your room.
NTA. Move your tv to your bedroom & explain to your better roommate why. She deserves the heads-up I’m guessing, but Claire can go fuck herself.
“Oh, a TV ‘we all have to use’, you say? Well don’t worry, I’ll move my TV to my bedroom instead so you don’t have to use it any more.”
Hard NTA.
NTA See my petty self would have immediately moved my TV into my room and sent a text about how I will be watching my Netflix shows in my room from now on.
NTA for all the reasons everyone else is saying. I hope your other roommate is aware of this, too.
NTA. Let her know that she’s right, the screen is now cursed with cooties, and it would be better if she just never used the TV again.
YTA
NTA. Banish these AHs from your life.
NTA
move your TV to your room.
Her boyfriend didn’t sign up for it? You didn’t sign up for her boyfriend to have an opinion.
NTA and like others have said, I’d move your TV to your room since it’s apparently such a problem.
Alternatively, my own petty ass would rearrange the room so the TV is not facing the door even if it made things looks super awkward. Wouldn’t want the poor lambs subjected to anything that might cause them to clutch their pearls as they walk from the front door to her bedroom.
Move your TV to your bedroom. Claire and her boyfriend will have to watch their Christian hetero porn (old episodes of The Waltons) on a TV they bought themselves that hasn’t been infused with your delicious cooties.
Id move the tv into my room, if she wants to watch something she can figure it out herself (tbf, more than half the people i know just use their computer 🤷🏻♀️)
Edit: nah that’s just me thinking petty, but i worry for you having her and her aggressive homophobe bf in your environment.
NTA. It’s a TV show. Sure, there are sex scenes, but a lot of shows have sex scenes. She and her boyfriend can fuck off.
NTA your tv your shows.
NTA! apologize for having to take the tv out of the common room to Jena and explain why.
NTA, and Claire and her boyfriend are no longer allowed to use your TV. Move it into your room if you want to, or don’t, but she’s lost her TV privileges until such time as she starts treating you better.
TLDR. NTA. You’re not watching porn
NTA if she wants to continue to live a sheltered life, she should still be living with mommy and daddy. You are free to act like a normal adult in your own apartment ffs.
NTA time for Claire to move out!
NTA. Saw others mentioning holidays if one becomes too explicit with the critique so here is a joke.. not like you watched Jurassic Park in front of her..
Jokes aside, you do not have a responsibility to tolerate anyones homophobia and should never question yourself for doing something perfectly normal that just happens to be gay.
NTA just because her comment doubling down was definitely was homophobic.
However, as a queer woman who has watched that show multiple times, it absolutely does border on porn, like, very frequently. I really would not watch a show like that in a common room unless I knew everyone who could be there was okay with extremely visual.. and loud sex scenes in shows, because a lot of people aren’t whether it’s straight or queer scenes. If she wasn’t homophobic about it I would probably be on her side.
Again you aren’t TA but I just would recommend keeping extremely sexual shows for when you’re alone in the future
It actually sounds like she did sign up for exactly what happened, considering she moved into a place with roommates. You can’t control what someone else watches on the tv. You didn’t “force” her to watch it, you were just watching it. Also, while OITNB is a bit raunchy, it’s a huge stretch to call it porn. I say NTA, if she has a problem she can leave
NTA. That guy is a weirdo. He’s threatened by you being a lesbian for some reason.
NTA it’s what you feel good watching, are you able to change roommates? Cause these idiots aren’t working haha
NTA but please be safe.
NTA.
NTA and i think you should put actual lesbian porn on instead. she’ll be fine with OITNB after that!
Tell her that her boyfriend probably watches lesbian shit also.
Fuck her!
NTA. Take your TV and install a camera in your room and lock it going forward. Tell her to move out if she has a problem with your existence.
NTA. Personally? I’d go nuclear. Move YOUR tv out of shared space. Any furniture or anything else of yours in shared spaces? living room furniture? kitchen appliances? Move them out of shared spaces, into your room, into storage, sell it if you must.
Just take away her access. When she asks why? “Oh it was all infected with lesbian cooties.”
I’d be done with her homophobic crap.
>but she doubled down, saying she and her boyfriend “didn’t sign up to be forced to watch my lesbian shit.”
Alright, then get the fuck out. Nobody is making her stay. 30 days notice to find a new place to live.
Oh dude NTA. Tell her you’d be happy to take your tv into your room if what you like to watch offends her.
NTA and to be honest, I’d be sure to put it on each time I knew he was coming over.
NTA.
Claire:
NTA. You need to not live with this person. What to do depends on how much of her lease is left. If it’s not too much longer, tell her that you won’t be signing another lease with her. If it’s a lot of time, you have more of a decision to make. Do you try to get her kicked out or do you move out.
And move your TV into your bedroom! I’m not a lesbian, but OITNB was an awesome show. Your roommate is a weirdo.
move the tv into ur room and stop sharing it
Classic homophobia. “Forced to watch it” when in reality they just briefly saw it while walking past. NTA, if they have a problem they can go somewhere else.
Well her boyfriend didn’t sign up for anything, so he doesn’t get a vote.
I’m surprised that someone so avidly god-fearing that they take issue with scenes depicting sexual activity has a boyfriend in her room with her.
Oh, wait, I’ve got it – representation of queer sexuality is a sin, but watching straight characters dry-hump then wake up in bed together with magic sheets (the ones that go up to a woman’s clavicle yet only to a man’s waist) is natural.
I think it’s clear that Claire and you have fundamental differences that make harmonious co-habitation unlikely.
One of you needs to remove themself from the equation.
I vote Claire, if for nothing more that last in, first out.
And obviously, I have other reasons, but you were there first, so go with the simplest one.
And when you’re interviewing the next potential roomie, set rules on guests, and get crystal about what you expect in a queer positive home.
NTA. I’d remind her we don’t “all have to watch” my television. She’s perfectly allowed to buy her own
I’d say you feel uncomfortable when she forces you to watch heterosexual media.
I’m sure you already know the answer and are just here to vent. They are TA
Invite her to leave. That’s it, all I can offer!! She’ll suck the life and soul out of your space!!
NTA. That is a perfectly normal TV show and you have every right to watch it in the living room. Move the TV to your room so she no longer “has to” use it, and look into replacing her homophobic ass with a reasonable roommate.
NTA- it’s a super popular tv show with people of all sexualities and ages… their homophobia is not your problem.
Honestly, if you haven’t already I would have some individual conversations with your other housemates and open up about what’s been going on here- they may not have understood the extent of it.
Tell her she doesn’t have to because she’s not going to be able to use your TV anymore
Nta
If you live in student housing, isn’t there a clause you can utilize to remove people who are giving ya the hate speech?
Not a lesbian. I am a straight male and wanted to say I watched the first two seasons of that show. I enjoyed it! They are homophobes
Obviously NTA, but I’m surprised your school lets you major in lesbian theater! /s
NTA
Move your tv into your room. F her and her boyfriend’s homophobic asses.
I think you’re amazingly tolerant OP. This kind of homophobic crap is outrageous and just not something anyone should have to put up with especially in your home.
NTA
NTA
Honestly, time to set rules. Claire’s boyfriend is homophobic and making comments. He is no longer a welcome guest. Once harassment of a roommate occurs, that person should not be over. They should be staying over at his place from now on when they’re hanging out
For Claire, time for a roommate meeting. If she’s that uncomfortable with “lesbian shit” it might be in her best interest to find a new place. God forbid you bring a girl home- it’ll be a nightmare. You can work on hammering out the details of switching roommates, but the “lesbian shit” seems to be making her uncomfortable and her boyfriends and now her comments are making you uncomfortable, so it’s better to just part ways. At least if it happens civily, you all can get your ducks in a row
It’s weird to me that a lesbian would interview a potential roommate and think a Christian soro girl would be a good fit. And that the Christian girl would want to live with a loud lesbian.
Outside of an ‘00s sitcom, this makes no sense.
NTA.
My wife and I are straight, and we both enjoyed Orange is the New Black. Honestly, it never even occurred to me to label it as a “lesbian” show. Even if you were watching a show that involved only lesbians, written and produce by lesbians, with lesbian-themed ads, who cares? In general, I think you should be able to watch whatever you want in the common area, though I would probably draw the line at porn (of any variety).
I mean, if they’re super-sensitive, I could see coming to an agreement (but it would have to be something everyone actually agrees to) to not watch rated R stuff, but naturally it shouldn’t just be about what sexual preferences the characters have or don’t have.
I hope your other roommate is on your side.
NTA and you guys just aren’t compatible as roommates. You should talk to your bestie and the two of you kick her homophobic ass out.
move tour tv to your room or dont let her watch it in the living room. now its not a “tv we all have to use” anymore.
NTA it’s actually NOT a tv you all have to use. She doesn’t have to use it at all. In fact, I think it might look a lot better in your room than the living room.
NTA. Start putting lesbian shit everywhere. Escalate it slowly to actual porn. Escalate the porn to pansexual orgies. Increase the intensity of the porn to include specifically blasphemous themes. Behave like this is all perfectly normal stuff to do in the common area and refuse to stop. She’ll move out.
Yeah NTA go tell Jen what happened and then tell Claire she needs to start looking for a new place
Helllllllllll no.
Last in, first out. Sounds like you need to get yourself a new 3rd roommate!
OITNB is hardly “porn”. They need to get over it and stop being such entitled, thinly-veiled homophobes!
You’re deffo NTA.
NTA
NTA but I’d move the tv to your room and maybe just let your other roommate use it. Honestly stop letting Claire use anything of yours.
NTA but he sounds legitimately scary and I would keep my back up around him.
He implied that you were a predator based on -nothing- and that is scary.
NTA but i wouldn’t let her use your TV anymore. move it to your room!
NTA
But only if by ‘was invested,’ you don’t mean ‘hand on the panties level invested. Though in this the problem will be no you being lesbian
Non-roommates don’t get to comment. I would’ve flipped the fuck out if my roomies boyfriend started being homophobic to me in my own home. He’s an asshole, she’s an asshole. You are NTA.
I didn’t even consider OITNB being a “lesbian” show. I watched it with my wife when it was on the first run and we both enjoyed it as just a show. Obviously it has lesbian themes but it’s a women’s prison so that’s just the reality of that setting.
NTA!
Her boyfriend is so used to coasting on patriarchal privilege he has no idea how to even interact with a woman who is neutral to indifferent to him and his “power.” So he puts you down and others you.
NTAH, but it’s generally bad manners to watch vulgar shows/movies when you have guests. Granted, their reasoning is homophobic so 1,000% he is the a-hole.
They wouldn’t be watching my TV anymore. NTA, make them buy their own fucking TV that hasn’t been defiled.
NTA
That’s not lesbian porn. That’s a tv show. It’s not for everyone but it’s a tv show. The existence of queer people in media does not transmute it into pornography.
Don’t stand for misogyny or homophobia. Fuck the haters.
I really need to understand why, whywhywhy, you would let someone move into your home without getting to know them first? I don’t care how broke you are, that’s a HUGE decision and all people involved have to be compatible or it is a NIGHTMARE.
NTA, obviously. The real question is, how fast can you legally kick her out? If the answer is “not fast at all,” turn the lesbian antics ALLLLLLLL the way up so she leaves on her own. Fnck that girl and fnck her gross bf.
NTA at all, but why didn’t you verify she wasn’t a homophobe before letting her move in with you?
I feel like I’m going to lose whatever lesbian cred I have for this, but ESH.
I’m a lesbian myself, I loved OITNB, but that’s a tough one to watch in a common area. Consent is important, and the amount of nudity, sex, and violence, the honest and in-your-face depictions of racism and homophobia… there’s just a lot of things in that show that could be really triggering to encounter out of context. So I agree with everyone suggesting that you move the TV to your room. Don’t put your roommates in the position of having to walk in on some of the deeply upsetting scenes.
That being said, Claire is terrible. Her bf is terrible. Please keep watching other “lesbian shit” in the common area to scandalize them all you want. Give my love to Nicky Nichols.
Everyone should be allowed to enjoy their favorite shows and movies that resonate with them and bring them joy. As long as it’s not porn then who cares