I’m (27F) recently started going to the same gym as my friend (25F) and her boyfriend (29M). We don’t usually work out together, but we’re often there around the same time.
The other day I wore a new black workout set leggings and a matching sports bra. Nothing sheer or revealing, just fitted and comfortable. I felt confident in it and didn’t think twice.
While I was working out, I noticed her boyfriend kept glancing over at me. I didn’t engage or do anything flirty, just stuck to my routine and minded my business.
Later that night, my friend texted me saying her boyfriend felt “distracted” and uncomfortable, and asked if I could wear a tank top next time. I was kind of caught off guard. I told her I wasn’t doing anything wrong and it felt unfair to ask me to change just because he couldn’t focus.
She said she understood, but still thought I should be more considerate since we’re friends.
Now things are weird between us, and another friend said I should’ve just worn a shirt to avoid drama. But I genuinely don’t think I did anything inappropriate.
So… AITA?
Comments
^^^^AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! READ THIS COMMENT – DO NOT SKIM. This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read this before contacting the mod team.
I’m (27F) recently started going to the same gym as my friend (25F) and her boyfriend (29M). We don’t usually work out together, but we’re often there around the same time.
The other day I wore a new black workout set leggings and a matching sports bra. Nothing sheer or revealing, just fitted and comfortable. I felt confident in it and didn’t think twice.
While I was working out, I noticed her boyfriend kept glancing over at me. I didn’t engage or do anything flirty, just stuck to my routine and minded my business.
Later that night, my friend texted me saying her boyfriend felt “distracted” and uncomfortable, and asked if I could wear a tank top next time. I was kind of caught off guard. I told her I wasn’t doing anything wrong and it felt unfair to ask me to change just because he couldn’t focus.
She said she understood, but still thought I should be more considerate since we’re friends.
Now things are weird between us, and another friend said I should’ve just worn a shirt to avoid drama. But I genuinely don’t think I did anything inappropriate.
So… AITA?
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. wore some leggings and sports bra, that may have made my friends boyfriend uncomfortable
2.honestly I don’t think it makes me the whole, there are some women at the gym who kinda dress to impress,
Help keep the sub engaging!
Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ
Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Plenty of people work out in a sports bra and leggings. Is he going to feel uncomfortable and unable to focus around all of them or just you? NTA
NTA. Nobody died and made your friend’s bf the clothing police.
NTA. Wear what you feel comfortable in
NTA obviously. You couldnt have known he would react like that and anyway, its his job to stop himself getting distracted
NTA
Nobody should be able to tell you what to wear other than ‘clothes that cover whatever legally needs covering’.
He is a grown man and should be able to manage his own self without expecting everyone else to cater to him
They need to become secure enough in their relationship to recognize that at some point, one or the other of them WILL find other humans attractive and that’s just normal, not a threat or a sign that they don’t love or aren’t attracted to their partner.
NTA. Just because her bf couldn’t focus is not your fault. You should be able to be comfortable while you work out.
Edit: He should keep his eyes forward and not wonder.
NTA. you wore appropriate attire for the gym. Also, your friend needs a new boyfriend if he’s checking out other women, especially his gfs friend.
NTA its not your fault her BF cant keep his eyes to himself. That is a HIM problem, not a YOU problem. Wear what ever you feel comfortable in. Tell his GF the same thing. If you do decide to wear a tshirt to workout in, it should be because thats what you feel comfortable in, not because you are trying not to distract the BF.
Absolutely NTA. It’s not your duty to manage a bloke gawping at you, what a ridiculous notion. He doesn’t get to commandeer what every woman in a gym wears because he has a penchant for boobs.
Shame on your friends who think it is acceptable for you to have to wear a t-shirt because a man can’t control himself!
NTA. Pretty sure you’re not the only person in that gym wearing a matching set
NTA, he’s attracted to you and doesn’t know what to do about it. Boo your friend for not telling her bf to get over it and for trying to control what you wear.
You should cover up out of respect.
Lmao, so your friend isn’t realizing that your bf wasn’t “distracted” he was glancing at you out of attraction. Sorry but if he was so uncomfortable why would he keep looking at you and then bring it up later. I know this is fucked up but your friend needs to wake up and smell the roses. Her bf was looking at you and she’s not mad? NTA your gf is naive asf 😭😭
Nta, dude needs to control his eyes and calm down
But it’s funny that going out in a sports bra isn’t considered revealing at all lol
what kind of gaslighting is this? He told his Girlfriend youre too hot to handle in the Gym? NTA
NTA – Her boyfriend is though. He couldn’t keep his eyes to himself and then she has a go at you for it.
It seems like she noticed him looking and they had an argument where he managed to convince her it was your fault. F that.
We know what those outfits look like. Can see everything.
If this is my boyfriend, I’ll definitely get mad at him not my friend.
Def no the asshole
So is your friend going to dictate what every single person at the gym wears?!? Sounds like a them problem def not you.
NTA, it’s your boyfriend’s responsibility to keep his eyes and thoughts in check. The gym is an acceptable place to wear leggings and a sports bra. I have seen plenty of women wear similar. I have also seen men wear leggings.
NTA. It’s pretty clear now that your friend’s boyfriend is into you- something you probably already picked up on. Your friend’s reaction is coming from a place of insecurity, and that jealousy isn’t likely to disappear anytime soon.
Wear whatever you want to the gym, just be prepared for potential drama down the line.
I saw this exact same post 24-48 hours ago. It wasn’t that interesting the first time either 🥱
YTA, not for the outfit, but for posting and reposting the same boring post (or else copying someone else’s post
I’m mystified at his entitlement. So he can not only police his girlfriend’s clothing but also her friends?
He can take his distraction and shove it.
I reserve my vote until I see a picture… The reason why is you could be describing the outfit correctly, but the way it looks on you could do something different. Some outfits are ok on some girls while inappropriate on others.
Oh yeah I’m sure you were standing in his direct line of vision with nothing between you while you did bend over stretches like a cat in heat (sarcasm). Did you ask her why he had to keep looking over? I’m pretty sure no one works out with their head on a swivel. NTA
Is he really uncomfortable with what you wore, or did she notice him looking at you?
What is she going to do if her boyfriend is distracted by a woman she isn’t friends with?