First post here, but this happened a month ago or so but I can’t stop thinking about it.
I (22F) attended a friend from high schools (23F) wedding to her (22F) wife, and I wore red. For anonymity I’m going to refer to my friend as Mia and her wife as Sarah.
Mia and I were super close from kindergarten through high school. After high school she went to college across the country and I stayed in state and we fell out of touch. She stayed out there every summer, so I literally hadn’t seen her in four years.
I saw her post a picture of a ring saying she was engaged and I commented a congratulations. To my surprise I got an invite in the mail a few weeks later. I was shocked that she thought to invite me but I was excited to see my friend after so long.
The day of the wedding comes and I wore a red/maroon floor length dress. I took my seat and waited for the bride to come down the aisle. Mia came down first and looked stunning, and then to my surprise Sarah came down the aisle in red.
Sarah, as it turns out, is Chinese and their wedding was a mash up of American and Chinese traditions.
Don’t get me wrong Sarah looked stunning, and her dress was way more detailed than mine, but I didn’t know they were doing a mashup wedding, much less that Sarah was Chinese. Mia is a private person who doesn’t post that often and their engagement post was a black and white photo of hands!
After the ceremony Mia came up to me, quite upset, and asked where I had the audacity to wear red to a Chinese wedding. I tried to explain to her that I had no idea the wedding was gonna have Chinese elements, like the bride wearing red, much less the fact that Sarah was Chinese to begin with. She had never posted a picture of her, to my knowledge, and I didn’t stalk her Instagram/facebook to find pictures because I didn’t think it would be a problem.
I ended up crying and leaving the reception early. If I had known she was planning on wearing red I would never have worn it.
If I’m being completely honest, my dress was plain red, no pattern or gems or lace or anything and Sarah’s dress was very detailed and down right stunning and I don’t think I could have outshone her anyway.
I’ve tried to call and text to apologize but I haven’t heard anything back.
So am I the AH for wearing red to a wedding, with no knowledge that the bride would also be wearing red?
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First post here, but this happened a month ago or so but I can’t stop thinking about it.
I (22F) attended a friend from high schools (23F) wedding to her (22F) wife, and I wore red. For anonymity I’m going to refer to my friend as Mia and her wife as Sarah.
Mia and I were super close from kindergarten through high school. After high school she went to college across the country and I stayed in state and we fell out of touch. She stayed out there every summer, so I literally hadn’t seen her in four years.
I saw her post a picture of a ring saying she was engaged and I commented a congratulations. To my surprise I got an invite in the mail a few weeks later. I was shocked that she thought to invite me but I was excited to see my friend after so long.
The day of the wedding comes and I wore a red/maroon floor length dress. I took my seat and waited for the bride to come down the aisle. Mia came down first and looked stunning, and then to my surprise Sarah came down the aisle in red.
Sarah, as it turns out, is Chinese and their wedding was a mash up of American and Chinese traditions.
Don’t get me wrong Sarah looked stunning, and her dress was way more detailed than mine, but I didn’t know they were doing a mashup wedding, much less that Sarah was Chinese. Mia is a private person who doesn’t post that often and their engagement post was a black and white photo of hands!
After the ceremony Mia came up to me, quite upset, and asked where I had the audacity to wear red to a Chinese wedding. I tried to explain to her that I had no idea the wedding was gonna have Chinese elements, like the bride wearing red, much less the fact that Sarah was Chinese to begin with. She had never posted a picture of her, to my knowledge, and I didn’t stalk her Instagram/facebook to find pictures because I didn’t think it would be a problem.
I ended up crying and leaving the reception early. If I had known she was planning on wearing red I would never have worn it.
If I’m being completely honest, my dress was plain red, no pattern or gems or lace or anything and Sarah’s dress was very detailed and down right stunning and I don’t think I could have outshone her anyway.
I’ve tried to call and text to apologize but I haven’t heard anything back.
So am I the AH for wearing red to a wedding, with no knowledge that the bride would also be wearing red?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I didn’t check social media to see what kind of wedding they were planning. I didn’t look at the invitation that closely to see what the theme would be and what to wear/not wear to fit in. I wore red to a wedding where one of the brides also wore red. The other bride got mad at me and I feel like if I did some more research I could have prevented it, but I didn’t do that research. I might be the asshole because I didn’t look into what kind of wedding they were throwing.
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NTA. If they did not want their guests wearing red, they should have specified on the invites.