I’m in Maui with my fiancé and future in-laws. We were at the pool this morning when I saw a middle aged couple sitting next to us. The wife made conversation with us and was very friendly.
When she got up and left her husband in his chair, I noticed him taking pictures of a woman’s feet a few chairs down. He was being super secretive about it and I’m almost positive that he saw the disgusted look on my face as he quickly put his phone face down on his lap. My fiancé and his parents didn’t see anything and I didn’t want to make a huge scene, so I tried to discretely mention what I saw to my fiancé without being obvious. I’m not sure if the man taking pictures heard me, but that may be relevant later.
There is no doubt in my mind what this man was doing, and I hurt for his wife, especially if she has no idea what he was doing, so I wrote her a note on a piece of receipt paper.
The note: Sorry to tell you this, but if I was in your shoes, I’d want to know. I saw your husband taking photos of women’s feet without their consent. I’m sure they’re deleted by now since he saw me looking. But you’re a beautiful woman who deserves better.
When we left to go to the beach, I folded the note, thanked the woman for her company, and tossed it on her towel next to her. I stand by what I did, but I do feel bad now that I’ve been told it wasn’t my business. Am I the asshole?
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I’m in Maui with my fiancé and future in-laws. We were at the pool this morning when I saw a middle aged couple sitting next to us. The wife made conversation with us and was very friendly.
When she got up and left her husband in his chair, I noticed him taking pictures of a woman’s feet a few chairs down. He was being super secretive about it and I’m almost positive that he saw the disgusted look on my face as he quickly put his phone face down on his lap. My fiancé and his parents didn’t see anything and I didn’t want to make a huge scene, so I tried to discretely mention what I saw to my fiancé without being obvious. I’m not sure if the man taking pictures heard me, but that may be relevant later.
There is no doubt in my mind what this man was doing, and I hurt for his wife, especially if she has no idea what he was doing, so I wrote her a note on a piece of receipt paper.
The note: Sorry to tell you this, but if I was in your shoes, I’d want to know. I saw your husband taking photos of women’s feet without their consent. I’m sure they’re deleted by now since he saw me looking. But you’re a beautiful woman who deserves better.
When we left to go to the beach, I folded the note, thanked the woman for her company, and tossed it on her towel next to her. I stand by what I did, but I do feel bad now that I’ve been told it wasn’t my business. Am I the asshole?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Am I The Asshole for getting involved in their marriage by writing a note to the wife?
It wasn’t my business, but if I was in her shoes, I’d want to know.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
YTA.
He saw you looking at him being a creep. Why the need to leave a note for the wife like a tattletale? It was not your business.
Yeah I’m sorry YTA. You don’t even know for sure that’s what he was doing. Do didn’t see his phone. You shouldn’t meddle with strangers unless you’re 100% sure. Even then, it’s a little questionable. But the “you deserve better” comment is backhanded.
It’s not your business and it wasn’t like he was taking up skirt photos. If I got a note like this I would laugh because it’s so unserious. NAH but mind your own business
NTA. I’d want to know if my partner was being a creep and taking pictures of random women, be it their feet or anything else. It’s weirdo behavior.
NTA and YTA at the same time. NTA bc taking pictures of someone’s feet is absolutely disgusting. But YTA as it wasn’t really your business in the first place, because what if he was just taking a picture of the scenery? You never know
YTA. That’s a lot of maybe and unknown to dare writing such a note.
NTA.
I feel like the fact that it’s feet takes away from how creepy the guy is being. Like imagine if he were taking photos of their asses.
Others are saying it’s “not your business,” I mean I agree but that still doesn’t make you an asshole. The husband is the asshole. I don’t understand why others think you telling his wife about him doing this is wrong. What he is doing is imo infidelity as well as predatory. Fuck that guy he deserves whatever comes of this. I feel bad for his wife.
So you actually saw his screen on camera mode and saw him zooming into ladies feet and taking the picture?
YTA…this was not your business.
NTA he is a creep
NTA. He was doing it while she was away for a reason. If it’s not really a big deal then your note will be ignored. She deserved to know.
MYbe he was a podiatrist
You acted like an American.
…
Feet? Do you think anyone cares about their feet? Do you think that’s a body’s best feeture? Oh no, someone is looking at your feet! Don’t women wear shoes SPECIFICALLY TO GET PEOPLE TO LOOK AT THEIR FEET? I see such shors all the time.
And what kind of distance are we talking about? A few… feet? Was it just two feet? Are my foot puns wearing down yet? Maybe I should get more. Make a full length feeture of them. Maybe I should charge. But not an arm or a leg… maybe just a foot.
Btw, yta.
NTA. Everyone saying YTA do not understand that as women we have to look out for each other and it’s better to be safe than sorry.
YTA. For all you know they’re both into feet. Or maybe the man was taking photos of something else and you misunderstood. In any case, that was being a terrible busy body. Do you think you enhanced anyone’s day with your actions?
NTA – women look out for each other. besides, think about all the photos he has taken / will go on to take without other people’s consent.
sure it’s not your business but technically someone else getting groped on the subway isn’t your business either, but you’d still help right?
NTA the people saying you are must be the feet fetishists
Why would someone give a shit about some rando dude taking pics of some chick’s feet? Who gives a fuck?
I feel like this is AI.
NTA. If there is an issue, she needs to be aware. If there’s not an issue, they’ll laugh it off and always remember that one time they got that crazy note from the weird lady at the pool. It’s always possible you misunderstood what he was doing, but you did the right thing by letting her know what you saw.