monday night, i (44F) brought home a foster dog. maybe 4-5 yrs old and approx 75 pounds. she’s super sweet and well behaved with people, but the rescue organization said she does not like cats and requires slow introductions with dogs. because of her size, i’ve been crossing the street if we see a dog while out for a walk, just to be on the safe side.
i live in a very urban neighborhood. last night, we were out for a walk. a man (30-40) was out with his shihtzu without a leash on. it sprinted across the street towards foster. i had firm control of her leash and collar, and i yelled at the man to get his dog away from her. he casually started to walk over to us (no hustle whatsoever), meanwhile his dog is now stopping traffic from running back and forth between foster and the owner, while an older woman with him stands and laughs. foster got agitated from the dog getting right up in her face and snarled a bit. i yelled at him again to get his dog away from her. he finally grabs his dog and then says “you are the one with the big dog. go F yourself”. i replied “exactly. do you not care if my dog attacks your dog?” he asks “is that a threat? are you threatening me?” so i yell “your dog could have been hit by a car!” he told me to F off. i told him he’s a shitty dog owner. altercation over. foster and i continued on our walk.
i was 100% sure i was in the right until i told a friend today and he said i shouldn’t have insulted the man, and that i should have just kept walking instead of engaging in the first place. if i hadn’t engaged, his dog would likely have continued to get at foster, and i was not about to risk either dog getting hurt (more likely the shihtzu). im baffled by what my friend said. AITA?
Comments
^^^^AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! READ THIS COMMENT – DO NOT SKIM. This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read this before contacting the mod team.
monday night, i (44F) brought home a foster dog. maybe 4-5 yrs old and approx 75 pounds. she’s super sweet and well behaved with people, but the rescue organization said she does not like cats and requires slow introductions with dogs. because of her size, i’ve been crossing the street if we see a dog while out for a walk, just to be on the safe side.
last night, we were out for a walk. a man (30-40) was out with his shihtzu without a leash on. it sprinted across the street towards foster. i had firm control of her leash and collar, and i yelled at the man to get his dog away from her. he casually started to walk over to us (no hustle whatsoever), meanwhile his dog is now stopping traffic from running back and forth between foster and the owner, while an older woman with him stands and laughs. foster got agitated from the dog getting right up in her face and snarled a bit. i yelled at him again to get his dog away from her. he finally grabs his dog and then says “you are the one with the big dog. go fk yourself”. i replied “exactly. do you not care if my dog attacks your dog?” he asks “is that a threat? are you threatening me?” so i yell “your dog could have been hit by a car!” he told me to fk off. i told him he’s a shitty dog owner. altercation over. foster and i continued on our walk.
i was 100% sure i was in the right until i told a friend today and he said i shouldn’t have insulted the man, and that i should have just kept walking instead of engaging in the first place. if i hadn’t engaged, his dog would likely have continued to get at foster, and i was not about to risk either dog getting hurt (more likely the shihtzu). im baffled by what my friend said. AITA?
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
NTA
Fuck off-leashing.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> i yelled at a man and called him a shitty dog owner. that could be seen as rude.
Help keep the sub engaging!
Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ
Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Nta.
NTA. You did everything right, he did everything wrong.
NTA. Telling the man that he is a shitty dog owner was unnecessary, but you only did that after the man’s unleashed dog startled your dog and he reacted aggressively to your asking him to take the dog away.
I have a very big dog who also needs slow introductions to others, and you were not the asshole.
number one your dog was on the leash.
Number two you did everything you could.
Number three that man was the asshole.
All dogs, no matter, their size should be on a leash in urban areas.
All dogs should be trained to listen to their owners. That is the asshole because he didn’t care whether or not his dog got bit and tried to blame it on you. So NTA
NTA. Perhaps your friend wasn’t indicating you were AH but that escalating a conversation with a random person is just not wise.
You are NTAH! Your moron neighbor who is obviously not concerned with the well being of his dog is the AH! And, you KNOW if his dog were injured the moron would blame everyone but himself!
Dogs should never be off leash in a public area, let alone a street with traffic, let alone where other dogs they are unfamiliar with are present.
And, i would be questioning if your friend is an AH…or just very uneducated/unaware about dogs!
NTA. He’s the problem, walking with a dog off-leash in the middle of the city. And looks like he has no recall or control over the dog at all. It’s always this type of people that will do stupid shit like this.
NTA Calling out someone for not taking care of their pet is important.
NTA. That dog owner sucks. Could you have yelled to get their attention and not insulted? Sure. Your friend is partially correct but is missing the point. Unless you always fly off the handle at things.
I feel like going everywhere with your fucking dog off-leash is the new pain in the ass thing to do. Even if you have the best trained dog in the world NOBODY else knows that and you don’t know anything about other people’s dogs.
NTA
“Is that a threat?” No, that’s a warning you dimwit.
NTA
NTA the guy needed to hear it. One day his dog’s gonna run up to the wrong leashed dog, or run out in front of a car that doesn’t see it til it’s too late. If a dog’s not trained enough to stay on the footpath, and to have proper recall, it shouldn’t be off-leash
INFO. It really depends on the delivery (word choice, tone) of the yelling to get away imo. He is definitely the bigger asshole either way. And you were probably understandably on edge and it’s hard to stay collected when a dog is running at your new reactive dog. But if you are really trying to understand if your friend was onto something, I’m curious of the words you said the two times you yelled before the guy told you to fk yourself. Was it just yelling so he would hear you from far away or was it anger? What would you say the tone was?
And generally the insult in response to an insult is just devolving into another’s AH behavior, but I get that’s hard to resist when someone just insulted you twice and put you in a dangerous situation where you had to be in protect mode for your dog.
NTA. People who allow their dogs offleash anywhere other than an off-leash dog park are fucking assholes. And legally, THEY are responsible if anything bad happens, because THEIR dog was the one out of their control, not on a leash.
NTA
NTA. This is why all people should leash their dogs. Even if your dog is friendly and won’t cause harm doesn’t mean someone else’s won’t. And no one should allow their dog to approach another dog without permission.
NTA! I would do the same thing with my fur babies.
Your friend is wrong, and you are right! Tell him that all of us think he’s really, completely wrong. The other owner is, in fact, a terrible dog owner. NTA.
NTA, for certain. But a couple of things here- you’re a bit stressed out about other dogs (understandably), but your foster will sense that and start to see other dogs as a threat so that’s a watch out. Also, I think you could have phrased it a bit differently and it might have not escalated. Reality is, this guy was an irresponsible Pri*k (and his wife for that matter, laughing) but I wonder if you didn’t go straight to panic mode, would everyone have been less stressed- including you dog.
Fair play on the fostering front btw!!!
No nta .. he can’t care much about his dog because some dogs have issues and can attack .. he might be able to predict his dogs behaviour but not other people’s so it’s really negligent of him and he probs shouldn’t be a dog owner
NTA.
And anyone who walks their dog off leash is an ahole. I said what I said.
NTA The guy with the ankle biter should have it on a lead/leash, people like that annoy me. They’d be the 1st to shut & scream if their dog got hurt because it went up to another dog that was on a lead/leash and not dog friendly. The only AH here is that guy! You are right, he is a shitty owner.
NTA! That idi0t cares nothing for your dog and his.
NTA. He’d be real quick to get angry when the big dog ate the little one.
NTA. Some people need a good dose of community shame before questioning their behavior. Unfortunately, some still never think about their actions, but there is only so much you can do (legally and ethically.)
He’s a trash human.
I feel bad for his little dog.
Nta. You had control of your dog on leash, he didn’t. I despise people like that man.
I carry mace at all times for this exact reason. The city i live in its illegal for dogs to be off leash, but you can’t trust them. I would have maced this dog in the face and carried on with my night
If the yell was simply increasing volume so the man could hear, then NTA.
If it was an angry yell, then I agree with your friend and say ESH. You can make your point without being aggressive (or you could walk away).
You are going to encounter more dogs off leash in a built-up area. Not ideal but you will need to be prepared for it to happen again.
NTA, and by his dogs reaction, should not have been off leash. Even though this sounds mean, I would have pepper sprayed the dog for the safety of the foster. I consider my pets like my kids. If the owner had gotten aggressive, I would defend myself with pepper spray as well. Simply put you were nicer than I would have been.
Dogs should not be off leash on public streets. That is why most every medium to large city has ordinances and specific “off leash areas”
Sure you were right, he is an a/h. However, between your accounting of what happened and your need for reassurance on here miss Rescue doesn’t have a bright and sunny future. Dogs sense our moods and feelings. It is palpable to them and as long as you are neurotic, agitated, scared and loudly vocal she is not going to start recovery. You need to be strong and confident so she can relax. If she senses that you can protect her then she will not have to protect the both of you. As a city person you may not have a car so we will cal it a “window sticker” for you that says “who saved who?!” Your relaxed, calm and confident demeanor will help both of you a great deal. Good luck to you
NTA!!!
Off leash dogs of ANY size are at significant risk regardless of how well trained they are, which this dog apparently wasn’t at all. Even if your dog wasn’t reactive, his dog was running in the street to try and get to her.
He is a very irresponsible dog owner for allowing this and putting the blame on your leashed, under control dog.
Thank you for fostering!
NTA But you should check in with a good trainer to learn how to give your dog more confidence.
I would have put my dog behind me and blocked the other dog. Most dogs will retreat when you move towards them and firmly tell them to bugger off.
It also teaches your dog that you will deal with these situations and keep him safe.
Congratulations on your new family member – even if temporary