Context Me(M25), my sister(22) and our mutual friend(F23) all live together.
I moved in cause a previous roommate dropped suddenly and had nowhere else to go. I am technically not on the lease.
Sister has the tendency to bulldoze over friend let’s call her Megan. and Megan is quiet and non-confrontational and has the tendancy to let her negative feelings stew.
Sister already has one dog and two cats. The dog has a barking problem and endless energy which I often complain about. Megan has a French Bulldog who I adore and was in the house before sister’s dog.
My sister feels that I constantly take Megan’s side and that we leave her out of things. So she tends to self isolate with her animals and not join us in the living room so her dog doesn’t bother us.
I walk and clean up after her dog when she is at work and I have no pets. I dislike her dog but like Megan’s.
Megan is typically at her boyfriend’s leaving my sister and I to watch her dog.
Randomly my sister brings home another dog. And is surprised at our negative reaction. I blow up on her and tell her she has no consideration for the people she’s living with. She feels i’m blowing up out of nowhere and is surprised at how much I have to say about taking care of her dog and tolerating her animals.
She says she cleans up after Megan’s dog and that we are a pet friendly house and that we were being toxic for yelling at her over a puppy. And that we are bad fiends because we haven’t checked up on her after her break up and her losing her pet horse back home.
Context she has depression and her three current animals are ESA approved. She has said each of the animals she’s gotten has prevented her from killing herself.
In my opinion she demands respect and empathy doesn’t give it back and although I want to be a caring brother I feel like I don’t have much to work with. I have seen her belittle Megan in the past and I have belittled her (not proud of).
I overhear her crying on the phone with my mom. Surprised at our negative reactions and thinking she just lost her two closest friends.
I feel like I’m in a tough spot cause I don’t know who’s side to take. I am hopefully moving soon but I wasn’t expecting to lose the relationship I have with my sister and childhood best friend over a puppy.
Are me and Megan the assholes?
TLDR: Depressed sister brings home puppy without warning the two people she shares a house with. I yelled at her and she is surprised at my reaction.
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Context Me(M25), my sister(22) and our mutual friend(F23) all live together.
I moved in cause a previous roommate dropped suddenly and had nowhere else to go. I am technically not on the lease.
Sister has the tendency to bulldoze over friend let’s call her Megan. and Megan is quiet and non-confrontational and has the tendancy to let her negative feelings stew.
Sister already has one dog and two cats. The dog has a barking problem and endless energy which I often complain about. Megan has a French Bulldog who I adore and was in the house before sister’s dog.
My sister feels that I constantly take Megan’s side and that we leave her out of things. So she tends to self isolate with her animals and not join us in the living room so her dog doesn’t bother us.
I walk and clean up after her dog when she is at work and I have no pets. I dislike her dog but like Megan’s.
Megan is typically at her boyfriend’s leaving my sister and I to watch her dog.
Randomly my sister brings home another dog. And is surprised at our negative reaction. I blow up on her and tell her she has no consideration for the people she’s living with. She feels i’m blowing up out of nowhere and is surprised at how much I have to say about taking care of her dog and tolerating her animals.
She says she cleans up after Megan’s dog and that we are a pet friendly house and that we were being toxic for yelling at her over a puppy. And that we are bad fiends because we haven’t checked up on her after her break up and her losing her pet horse back home.
Context she has depression and her three current animals are ESA approved. She has said each of the animals she’s gotten has prevented her from killing herself.
In my opinion she demands respect and empathy doesn’t give it back and although I want to be a caring brother I feel like I don’t have much to work with. I have seen her belittle Megan in the past and I have belittled her (not proud of).
I overhear her crying on the phone with my mom. Surprised at our negative reactions and thinking she just lost her two closest friends.
I feel like I’m in a tough spot cause I don’t know who’s side to take. I am hopefully moving soon but I wasn’t expecting to lose the relationship I have with my sister and childhood best friend over a puppy.
Are me and Megan the assholes?
TLDR: Depressed sister brings home puppy without warning the two people she shares a house with. I yelled at her and she is surprised at my reaction.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) I think I might be the asshole because I screamed at my obviously depressed sister in a moment of frustration because I felt she was making an irrational decision.
2) I have since doubled down on it telling her all of my previous grievances living with her and her behavior towards our roommate and I.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
For context we were all homeschooled by emotionally unstable parents and have basically no friends but each other. So it’s hard to navigate which of us is in the wrong at times since we’re all so clearly screwed up.
NTA. Most reputable rescues and shelters require a document signed by all household members. She either forged your signatures, lied about living alone, or got the puppy from a less reputable source. None of those are great options.
NTA. You’re not “toxic” for being upset at someone bringing a new animal into your living space without asking. Yelling at her probably wasn’t the best way to handle it, but it’s definitely understandable, especially if she’s known to steamroll and belittle. Her argument that “each of the animals she’s gotten has prevented her from killing herself” may be true, but it’s manipulative to use it like that. It seems like a way for her to shut down any arguments by making you feel guilty for being upset with her. Getting a new pet every time she’s in a mental health crisis is not really healthy or sustainable. Is she getting any treatment for her depression?
NTA: but you’ll love the puppy in less than 2 weeks and probably apologize later.
NTA your sister already has a poorly trained dog that barks all the time and you already have to look after that one. 2 dogs and 2 cats are plenty, any more than that is pretty crazy imo she needs to realize her actions affect other people when you move out who is taking care of all these animals?