I (28 M) and my gf (27 F) got into an argument about my car situation. I bought a used car that has some issues that a mechanic didn’t figure out until later on. My brother is a mechanic and told me he would fix it if I paid him. I bought all the parts and he started to work on it. He was unable to finish and left me with a dismantled car. My gf started to get upset with me because she says that’s all we talk about (we talk about it a lot but there’s more that we talk about in a day). I told her “Don’t worry about it anymore” and she instantly got upset because she thinks i’m getting mad at her for her feelings. I allowed her to talk about how she feels but I explained that I was put in a terrible situation not by my own fault. It makes me feel even more shitty that I can’t talk to my gf about it because she doesn’t want to put up with it. Am I the asshole for getting upset with her?
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I (28 M) and my gf (27 F) got into an argument about my car situation. I bought a used car that has some issues that a mechanic didn’t figure out until later on. My brother is a mechanic and told me he would fix it if I paid him. I bought all the parts and he started to work on it. He was unable to finish and left me with a dismantled car. My gf started to get upset with me because she says that’s all we talk about (we talk about it a lot but there’s more that we talk about in a day). I told her “Don’t worry about it anymore” and she instantly got upset because she thinks i’m getting mad at her for her feelings. I allowed her to talk about how she feels but I explained that I was put in a terrible situation not by my own fault. It makes me feel even more shitty that I can’t talk to my gf about it because she doesn’t want to put up with it. Am I the asshole for getting upset with her?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I think I might be the asshole because i’m not pushing my feelings to the side to understand how my gf is feeling g
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Get your car fixed. Your brother is an asshole. Get him out of your life. Move on. Problem solved.
I feel like it’s difficult to say for sure, currently id need more INFO like:
Look, I’ve been in your girlfriends situation before.
She says it’s all you talk about. She is telling you that this situation is dominating the conversation. Listen to her. She isn’t upset with you because of your situation, she’s upset because you won’t quit bitching about it. You can only listen to the same complaints so many times before you start to lose it. It gets exhausting to constantly have to be someone’s emotional support person.
INFO: what are you currently doing to solve the problem? What do you mean your brother was unable to finish, is he in the military or something? Are you complaining about the car daily or are you telling her your ideas on how to solve the problem?