My husband I have been happily married for over a decade. But every so often, it comes up that I didn’t “let” my husband’s ex-girlfriend’s mom come to our wedding. It’s normally brought up by my husband’s college friends, who are also close with this woman.
For the first year+ of our relationship, my husband wanted to maintain a friendship with his ex’s mom, and he justified it by saying that she was her own person and genuinely his friend outside of her daughter/his ex.
The ExMom (EM) is a professor at the college he went to, and they maintained a relationship for years after he graduated, even after he and his ex broke up (roughly 2 years before we started dating). She was never the professor of any of the classes he took, though he does credit her with helping “get him through” a gen-ed class.
I don’t think their friendship would bother me so much, except my husband admitted that she would regularly reminisce about when he dated her daughter.
On top of that, when she visited him (before we were dating), he lived in a studio apartment and didn’t have a second bed, so they shared his twin-sized bed and “cuddled platonically” (his words)
EM asks my husband’s friends to “check up” on him, now that he doesn’t communicate with her (he stopped responding to her calls/texts when we were dating due to her regular “reminiscing texts”).
And last: She asks for his friends (and him, though he never responds) to send pictures of our kids.
My husband agreed ages ago that he chose our relationship over EM, and while he doesn’t think his friendship her was inappropriate, he understands why it made me uncomfortable.
Now I’m going to this wedding that is know EM will be at, and my husband’s friends are saying I’m TA for not inviting her to my wedding/not “giving her a chance” before convincing my husband to cut EM off.
So AITA?
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My husband I have been happily married for over a decade. But every so often, it comes up that I didn’t “let” my husband’s ex-girlfriend’s mom come to our wedding. It’s normally brought up by my husband’s college friends, who are also close with this woman.
For the first year+ of our relationship, my husband wanted to maintain a friendship with his ex’s mom, and he justified it by saying that she was her own person and genuinely his friend outside of her daughter/his ex.
The ExMom (EM) is a professor at the college he went to, and they maintained a relationship for years after he graduated, even after he and his ex broke up (roughly 2 years before we started dating). She was never the professor of any of the classes he took, though he does credit her with helping “get him through” a gen-ed class.
I don’t think their friendship would bother me so much, except my husband admitted that she would regularly reminisce about when he dated her daughter.
On top of that, when she visited him (before we were dating), he lived in a studio apartment and didn’t have a second bed, so they shared his twin-sized bed and “cuddled platonically” (his words)
EM asks my husband’s friends to “check up” on him, now that he doesn’t communicate with her (he stopped responding to her calls/texts when we were dating due to her regular “reminiscing texts”).
And last: She asks for his friends (and him, though he never responds) to send pictures of our kids.
My husband agreed ages ago that he chose our relationship over EM, and while he doesn’t think his friendship her was inappropriate, he understands why it made me uncomfortable.
Now I’m going to this wedding that is know EM will be at, and my husband’s friends are saying I’m TA for not inviting her to my wedding/not “giving her a chance” before convincing my husband to cut EM off.
So AITA?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I didn’t invite a woman to my wedding, and influenced my husband to end his friendship with her.
It might make me an asshole because the rest of his friend group are friends with her, and my husband doesn’t believe his relationship with her was inappropriate.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
I will surely sound immature when I say this but ew. No. Absolutely not. Cuddle? Platonically? With his ex-gf’s mom? What?!!!!
> On top of that, when she visited him (before we were dating), he lived in a studio apartment and didn’t have a second bed, so they shared his twin-sized bed and “cuddled platonically” (his words)
> She asks for his friends (and him, though he never responds) to send pictures of our kids.
Ummm..
NTA this relationship is WEIRDDDDD
Asking for pics of your kids is creepy – “friends” are jerks to think this normal behavior.
You don’t cuddle platonically with an ex’s parent. She’s hung up on him for her own reasons.
Your husband is TA for not putting the “friends” in their place – he values his relationship with you over EM and should scream it at anyone that needs to hear it
I wonder what the ex girlfriend thinks of her mom’s platonic cuddly relationship with her ex boyfriend.
It’s so ridiculous it can only be AI.
NTA.
Um…the bed sharing is really odd. I would rather sleep on the floor than share a twin bed with someone, esp my ex’s mother. Super weird IMO. Your husband and friends are all biased. Why would you invite someone to your wedding that wanted the groom to be with someone other than the bride. She wasn’t supportive so she got no invite.
Attend the wedding with confidence that you’re NTA. Her (and your husband’s pre-NC) behavior is very strange and not normal.
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