I was cleaning. Our house isn’t the cleanest, and it’s mostly clutter.
So I was cleaning the bathroom and looked at an old hamper full of clothes.
It was originally in our washroom but moved to our bathroom. It’s full of old dirty clothes that have been sitting in there for maybe a couple years now.
They’ve been collecting dust, and some items even smelled like cat piss. It smelled awful and like I said, has been sitting untouched for years.
So I threw it away. The next day my mom was upset. Saying that I threw away perfectly good clothes. And how I always throw away things when I clean.
And she brought up how I’m always throwing away sauce packets. Which we by the way also NEVER use. She told me, “throwing things away, isn’t cleaning.”
But I think if we don’t use it, it’s trash. Am I the asshole?
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I was cleaning. Our house isn’t the cleanest, and it’s mostly clutter.
So I was cleaning the bathroom and looked at an old hamper full of clothes.
It was originally in our washroom but moved to our bathroom. It’s full of old dirty clothes that have been sitting in there for maybe a couple years now.
They’ve been collecting dust, and some items even smelled like cat piss. It smelled awful and like I said, has been sitting untouched for years.
So I threw it away. The next day my mom was upset. Saying that I threw away perfectly good clothes. And how I always throw away things when I clean.
And she brought up how I’m always throwing away sauce packets. Which we by the way also NEVER use. She told me, “throwing things away, isn’t cleaning.”
But I think if we don’t use it, it’s trash. Am I the asshole?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> (1) I threw away an entire hamper of clothes that belonged to my family
(2) Should I have instead washed the clothes instead of just throwing them away?
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
YTA, You’re throwing away stuff that doesn’t belong to you and why not give it to charity. I’d throw you away if I was your mom.
NTA
Yea, it was full of clothes but clothes being that old to where there’s dust and cat piss on them, most likely aren’t exactly “good” anymore and aren’t worth the washing.
So your mom is a hoarder? NTA
NTA. Cat piss.
I do have a drawer in the kitchen with an array of packets. I also have several packets in the fridge. No cat piss though.
ESH. lol my mom is the saaaaame way. she never wants to throw anything away no matter how much we don’t use it or how bad of shape it’s in. the house is so full of clutter because she can’t bare to get rid of anything incase we might have a use for it later. i’ve been secretly getting rid of stuff and she doesn’t even notice.
i will say you probably should have told her first that you were doing it. maybe that would have put her in motion to do something about it but again if she’s like my mom nothing would have been done. honestly though if your cats peed on it, that is not an easy smell to get rid of. they’re better off in the trash.
INFO
Um.
Why the heck did you guys just stop doing laundry one day?
NTA and when stuff is destroyed by cats its now garbage. No one wants pissed on clothing. Part of cleaning is getting rid of garbage. Tell her if you could have saved it and washed it you would have but in this case, nope. And if things like packets of things aren’t used, they too are garbage, as you can’t donate them. Maybe leave a few but dump the rest. Check out r/hoarding if you need specific help with getting rid of things with someone who tends to hoard things they never/can’t use.
Bets of luck in keeping things clean.
NTA once a cat pees on something, they’ll do it again and again, and it’s impossible to get the smell out, that hamper needed to go in the trash. Sauce packets should be tossed when you finish the food they came with, they’re more likely to get squished and make a mess in a drawer than to be used. Has your mom considered getting counseling for her hoarding issues?
NTA sounds highly problematic. You’re not wrong. Yikes.
NTA
If the clothes have been sitting dirty for a couple of years smelling of cat pis….they need to go.
If they were needed, they wouldn’t have sat for years.
That being said….not everything that isnt being used is trash…unless it actually is trash. Most of the time its just clutter that could be sold or donated ..if cleaned up.
No one wants cat pis clothes.
Ask her to name/describe 3 items in the hamper of clothes you threw out. Then you’ll have your answer.
NTA. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. She may also be getting upset because you are the one making the decisions, not her.
Will she clean with you? Focus on a small area first. Ask for permission before you clean something, she may feel territorial. Speaking without judgment will keep her involved.
Ehh NTAA, lol my dad does the same thing you do. Kinda throws things way if he thinks it isn’t being used. I hate it cause he doesn’t ever ask, he actually throws away things that I do us but he thinks we don’t.
But this sounds like your mon is a hoarder and a dirty one, too.
NTA. As an adult: Throwing things away that are ruined or unused is absolutely cleaning. It sounds like you’re in a situation where things need to be tossed to properly clean so keep doing what you can
Ehh NTAA, lol my dad does the same thing you do. Kinda throws things way if he thinks it isn’t being used. I hate it cause he doesn’t ever ask, he actually throws away things that I do us but he thinks we don’t.
But this sounds like your mon is a hoarder and a dirty one, too.
It won’t let me post the “does this bring joy?” Meme lol
NTA, Op you mom is clearly a hoarder, the key it to start small, a little everyday, a packet here or there, take it with you to work or school and toss along the way. The clothing 1-2 items over time. Hamper is empty, move it out of sight then toss it…The packet build up, but my guess if she thinks your using things, it will be less of an issue. Maybe thats an old jar bottle of something in the fridge. Pour out a little at a time here or there, Rinse sink, when empty then toss.
NTA,
And based on your other comments, your mom sounds like a hoarder and needs some help.
NTA, seems absolutely necessary.
It sounds like your mom is ridiculous. Clothes cats peed on? Yuck! But it also sounds like you are inconsiderate sometimes throwing away stuff she has a right to keep. Just because you don’t use it doesn’t mean it’s trash. And, really, she should get to decide what to toss – though it would be ok if you insist she wash those clothes or toss them. I have too much stuff. I am starting to clean through it, though not quickly. Rather than throwing things I don’t use away, I am looking for people who want and will use it. I currently have a growing stack to go to a give and take in a nearby town. I have a growing stack to take to the metal recycling place (we don’t have curbside recycling here). I offer stuff to people who I think would want it. I have been thrilled at times to get things equivalent to what I am giving away. Just today, I sent my sister home with a box of quilt blocks -she’s making small quilts for charity. I also dug up some bulbs for her. The last time I was at her house, she gave me a mum she no longer wanted.