When I was 32 years old, I was married with three young children and both my husband and I were struggling with full time jobs, him also with school, and life in general. I found out about a program where I could “sell” my eggs. I went through a company a friend knew about, did one cycle of shots/hormones, and they retrieved 15 eggs. I posted my info on the site and a couple from California contacted me, as wife did not produce eggs and could not carry baby. They were interested in my eggs in particular because I already had three healthy children, and they both had red hair and green eyes; as do I and all of my children. They ended up having 3 healthy children, which I guess are technically half me biologically and half her husband. This happened over the course of a few years with a surrogate. I never saw pictures, didn’t ask to, and didn’t communicate with them after the last child. I received $5000 at the time and it was sorely needed for anything from medical bills to daycare costs and day to day expenses. Fast forward to now – I am divorced from my husband of 25 years and our children are grown, the youngest being 23. My current boyfriend is absolutely apalled that #1 – I never told him about this and just brought it up in normal conversation, #2 – that the action itself was completely ethically wrong, and #3 – how can I function knowing I have three biological children in CA somewhere I will never meet or so and my genetics or just “out there.” I honestly don’t think about it. They aren’t my kids and I never saw things that way. This has become a daily discussion turning into an argument about me trying to find out where they are or what they are doing. AITA for not caring or just looking at it in a blase’ manner?
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When I was 32 years old, I was married with three young children and both my husband and I were struggling with full time jobs, him also with school, and life in general. I found out about a program where I could “sell” my eggs. I went through a company a friend knew about, did one cycle of shots/hormones, and they retrieved 15 eggs. I posted my info on the site and a couple from California contacted me, as wife did not produce eggs and could not carry baby. They were interested in my eggs in particular because I already had three healthy children, and they both had red hair and green eyes; as do I and all of my children. They ended up having 3 healthy children, which I guess are technically half me biologically and half her husband. This happened over the course of a few years with a surrogate. I never saw pictures, didn’t ask to, and didn’t communicate with them after the last child. I received $5000 at the time and it was sorely needed for anything from medical bills to daycare costs and day to day expenses. Fast forward to now – I am divorced from my husband of 25 years and our children are grown, the youngest being 23. My current boyfriend is absolutely apalled that #1 – I never told him about this and just brought it up in normal conversation, #2 – that the action itself was completely ethically wrong, and #3 – how can I function knowing I have three biological children in CA somewhere I will never meet or so and my genetics or just “out there.” I honestly don’t think about it. They aren’t my kids and I never saw things that way. This has become a daily discussion turning into an argument about me trying to find out where they are or what they are doing. AITA for not caring or just looking at it in a blase’ manner?
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NTA – It’s not ethically wrong. These kids are being raised by people who want them and I’m sure living happy lives. Your boyfriend’s opinion here is meaningless. Is he narrowminded about other things too?