Saying my ex is problematic is an understatement. We have a child together and have been in a long process of divorce.
She’s twice utilized CPS to have me investigated for bogus complaints, leading to nearly a year of missed time with my son.
She also filed a protection order against me saying that I’ve somehow hacked all of her internet enabled devices in her home as a form of harassment.
The Judge seems to be on my side in the case and we’ve made significant headway, including an even split of time with my kid. The Judge seems to see through all of her story telling, often making it clear that she finds her credibility to be lacking.
She’s also asked for permission to move out of state with my kid because she’s currently being sued in housing court for eviction. The Judge in our divorce hasn’t ruled on her request, but has clearly telegraphed that she won’t approve the move. I don’t have any details about the eviction case except that it exists. All I know is that’s she hasn’t really worked for over a year and I’m assuming she’s not been paying her rent during this time.
Despite this, she’s refused to accept child support payments. She’s had her lawyer file an order of contempt over the child support, even as she’s refused to accept multiple checks.
The last time we were in court the Judge forced her to accept a large check from me. The judge also gave me a receipt to provide to support collections.
Even now, 2 months later, she is moving forward with the contempt case and still has refused to cash the check.
My question is a hypothetical.
I’m assuming part of the reason she hasn’t cashed the check is because of her eviction proceedings. If she doesn’t have the money in her account she can claim domestic abuse on a financial basis and maybe delay or put off her eviction.
AITA if I go out of my way to make her landlord aware of the check’s existence?
It just seems cleaner if she’s forced to leave and, I’m assuming, custody is turned over to me. I don’t want to keep my child from seeing his Mom, but I don’t see her stopping her behavior in trying to keep my child and I apart either.
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Saying my ex is problematic is an understatement. We have a child together and have been in a long process of divorce.
She’s twice utilized CPS to have me investigated for bogus complaints, leading to nearly a year of missed time with my son.
She also filed a protection order against me saying that I’ve somehow hacked all of her internet enabled devices in her home as a form of harassment.
The Judge seems to be on my side in the case and we’ve made significant headway, including an even split of time with my kid. The Judge seems to see through all of her story telling, often making it clear that she finds her credibility to be lacking.
She’s also asked for permission to move out of state with my kid because she’s currently being sued in housing court for eviction. The Judge in our divorce hasn’t ruled on her request, but has clearly telegraphed that she won’t approve the move. I don’t have any details about the eviction case except that it exists. All I know is that’s she hasn’t really worked for over a year and I’m assuming she’s not been paying her rent during this time.
Despite this, she’s refused to accept child support payments. She’s had her lawyer file an order of contempt over the child support, even as she’s refused to accept multiple checks.
The last time we were in court the Judge forced her to accept a large check from me. The judge also gave me a receipt to provide to support collections.
Even now, 2 months later, she is moving forward with the contempt case and still has refused to cash the check.
My question is a hypothetical.
I’m assuming part of the reason she hasn’t cashed the check is because of her eviction proceedings. If she doesn’t have the money in her account she can claim domestic abuse on a financial basis and maybe delay or put off her eviction.
AITA if I go out of my way to make her landlord aware of the check’s existence?
It just seems cleaner if she’s forced to leave and, I’m assuming, custody is turned over to me. I don’t want to keep my child from seeing his Mom, but I don’t see her stopping her behavior in trying to keep my child and I apart either.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Because I’d be potentially causing my child’s mother to be evicted.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Above Reddit’s pay grade.
Take this to your lawyer. Do what is right for your kid. Nothing spiteful.
NTA Check with your attorney on how to handle this information.
NTA, just do it, she clearly wants to take custody of the kid, I’d say probably to get in your face or something
NTA. Talk to your lawyer. First and foremost. Protect yourself and your child.
After you speak with your lawyer, here’s my internet stranger advice. Stay out of the issue with her landlord completely and see if you can use the eviction and her threats to move out of state to get full custody with visitation rights for her. And child support from her.
If they are court ordered child support payments, does your state have an agency to pay them to? She’s playing a long game with this and you need legal documentation and protection for what’s coming.
NAH. Talk to your lawyer about strategies. Theres things I would do/advise, so either your moving without an attorney or without consulting your attorney.
I assume you have a lawyer so that’s where this question needs to go really. You need to know the possible legal implications and how this could be viewed in court. Honestly unable to render a judgement here
NTA but you should consult your attorney on this. Also ask about making payments to a third party agency instead of to your ex directly.
Don’t stoop to her level. The judge is on your side right now because you are clearly the good guy. Don’t start doing things that might make the judge think that you are equal pitas.
NTA
The judge seems to have her number so why shouldn’t her landlord find out too.
INFO: What does your lawyer say to do?
I am not a lawyer nor do I have experience with any of this but reading that she is refusing checks and that she won’t set up an account to allow you to pay through a state agency it would probably be helpful or at the very least couldn’t hurt anything to put your child support in a separate account from the rest of your money. I’m thinking kind of like when tenants put the money into escrow while trying to get their landlord to fix things. Just transfer money to the account on a normal child support schedule so that you can take your bank statements and clearly show you have the funds set aside for this purpose. I don’t know what kind of buffer you normally keep in your bank account but if it ever looked like there was a day even that your normal bank account didn’t hold the exact child support amount I would imagine they would try to use that against you.