AITA if I took distance from my two best friends now that they are dating?

r/

Hello reddit. I, 18F, have two best friends: a 19M and a 18F who I introduced to each other two years ago. She had manifested she had interest in him so for the last two years I’ve helped her getting closer to him. For context, he lives in the US, we don’t.

At first it was great, my two best friends were in a situationship that made them happy while also uniting two friend groups that are very dear to me. However, in October 2024 my girl best friend became kind of obsessed (?), she would always record what we were doing to send to him, only talk about him even when the topic was not related to him or couples, etc. With time it became more and more, to the point in which she would not message me unless she needed me to answer a question about him.

He came back home two months ago and things went downhill. She invited him to my house without telling me while we had a girl-only plan “because she assumed it would be okay”, and then ignored everyone except each other. He would crash out anytime we went partying and she consumed alcohol (responsibly), because he would assume she was cheating: and for whatever reason I had to receive the insults.

I have talked to him about it to try to bring some sense into him, he says he agree and yet things keep happening. Whenever I try talking about it with her, (or anyone attempts to do so), she gets really mad and cuts us off. So I took space and now they are mad because they said I am resentful of their relationship, am I the asshole?

Comments

  1. AutoModerator Avatar

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    Hello reddit. I, 18F, have two best friends: a 19M and a 18F who I introduced to each other two years ago. She had manifested she had interest in him so for the last two years I’ve helped her getting closer to him. For context, he lives in the US, we don’t.

    At first it was great, my two best friends were in a situationship that made them happy while also uniting two friend groups that are very dear to me. However, in October 2024 my girl best friend became kind of obsessed (?), she would always record what we were doing to send to him, only talk about him even when the topic was not related to him or couples, etc. With time it became more and more, to the point in which she would not message me unless she needed me to answer a question about him.

    He came back home two months ago and things went downhill. She invited him to my house without telling me while we had a girl-only plan “because she assumed it would be okay”, and then ignored everyone except each other. He would crash out anytime we went partying and she consumed alcohol (responsibly), because he would assume she was cheating: and for whatever reason I had to receive the insults.

    I have talked to him about it to try to bring some sense into him, he says he agree and yet things keep happening. Whenever I try talking about it with her, (or anyone attempts to do so), she gets really mad and cuts us off. So I took space and now they are mad because they said I am resentful of their relationship, am I the asshole?

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    Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment.

    OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:

    > 1. The action is taking space from my friends 2. Because they are very mad about the action taken

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  3. DoIwantToKnow6417 Avatar

    Keep your distance. You don’t want to be mixed into this, and possibly be on the receiving end of blame.

    NTA

  4. Party-Wheel-7265 Avatar

    NTA

    Clearly what they have going on is toxic and they are in their own world anyways. It’s obvious you love them both but just let them go thru the motions on their own; they’ll eventually come back.

  5. Only-Breadfruit-6108 Avatar

    You don’t need a reason to take a step back from people, you just do it. He’s not really even there, and she needs more going on in her life, you’re all 18 who are going in separate directions. It’s normal to expand your world, NTA