My whole life my parents have pushed for me to get into medical school, I cant recall a single night they didn’t make me watch some kind of hospital show with them. You can call me sensitive but I was a young kid watching people on TV die, and that’s not something kids take lightly. Whenever I’d cry during the show, they’d hit me and say I “Needed to stop being a baby because it’d be worse in real life.” because they already planned my whole life out. When I didn’t listen to them they’d take my dinner away and tell me I didn’t deserve it. They would scream about how I was supposed to be a doctor and if I didn’t I’d be shamed. They gave me trust issues, depression and extreme anxiety because of all the shit they would pull. I got good grades in school and I don’t remember a single year I wasn’t on the honor roll. This only made them push farther. At 17 I had a big fight with my parents about how I didn’t want to go become a doctor. It ended up in me cutting contact and moving in with my aunt, who supported my genuine passion – psychology. For years I’ve loved studying the human brain and what it reacts like in certain situations. I personally believe it’s because I always wanted to understand why my parents DWTD. My aunt watched me gain the spark in my eyes again, finally living like a normal kid. The new school I went to had a psychology class which I signed up for immediately. There I met my now partner. We can call them Ren, (19). I thought they were super cool, so I went to talk to them. We’d sit in class together and share notes, and Ren was honestly everything I was asking for. When we graduated I finally decided to ask Ren out, and we’ve been together for a little over a year and 11 months now. They are amazing. I’ve learned to trust them enough to tell them about my past. A few months ago I sent in a application to Princeton, planning to go for Psychological FM. Long story short, I got accepted. My aunt threw me a party for my 19th last week, combined with a official celebration of me getting into Princeton and family was invited. That’s when my parents walked in, and you could see people turning white in shock. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. They weren’t invited but probably heard the plans by a gossiping aunt. They walked up to me all smiles and tried to hug me. Ren stepped Infront of me and asked why the hell they were here. Their facade quickly cracked and they screamed about how I was their son and they had every right to be here on my birthday. By then I was crying and so were a few younger cousins with all the fighting. I finally screamed that my parents had no right in my life and that they were horrible manipulative people. (more explicitly) My mom looked hurt and my dads face scrunched up, they ended up leaving. The party was a mess. Last night my aunt finally said she thinks it was a bit harsh of me, and even though they weren’t the best people my mom still gave birth to me and deserved respect. idk what to do. AITA?
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My whole life my parents have pushed for me to get into medical school, I cant recall a single night they didn’t make me watch some kind of hospital show with them. You can call me sensitive but I was a young kid watching people on TV die, and that’s not something kids take lightly. Whenever I’d cry during the show, they’d hit me and say I “Needed to stop being a baby because it’d be worse in real life.” because they already planned my whole life out. When I didn’t listen to them they’d take my dinner away and tell me I didn’t deserve it. They would scream about how I was supposed to be a doctor and if I didn’t I’d be shamed. They gave me trust issues, depression and extreme anxiety because of all the shit they would pull. I got good grades in school and I don’t remember a single year I wasn’t on the honor roll. This only made them push farther. At 17 I had a big fight with my parents about how I didn’t want to go become a doctor. It ended up in me cutting contact and moving in with my aunt, who supported my genuine passion – psychology. For years I’ve loved studying the human brain and what it reacts like in certain situations. I personally believe it’s because I always wanted to understand why my parents DWTD. My aunt watched me gain the spark in my eyes again, finally living like a normal kid. The new school I went to had a psychology class which I signed up for immediately. There I met my now partner. We can call them Ren, (19). I thought they were super cool, so I went to talk to them. We’d sit in class together and share notes, and Ren was honestly everything I was asking for. When we graduated I finally decided to ask Ren out, and we’ve been together for a little over a year and 11 months now. They are amazing. I’ve learned to trust them enough to tell them about my past. A few months ago I sent in a application to Princeton, planning to go for Psychological FM. Long story short, I got accepted. My aunt threw me a party for my 19th last week, combined with a official celebration of me getting into Princeton and family was invited. That’s when my parents walked in, and you could see people turning white in shock. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. They weren’t invited but probably heard the plans by a gossiping aunt. They walked up to me all smiles and tried to hug me. Ren stepped Infront of me and asked why the hell they were here. Their facade quickly cracked and they screamed about how I was their son and they had every right to be here on my birthday. By then I was crying and so were a few younger cousins with all the fighting. I finally screamed that my parents had no right in my life and that they were horrible manipulative people. (more explicitly) My mom looked hurt and my dads face scrunched up, they ended up leaving. The party was a mess. Last night my aunt finally said she thinks it was a bit harsh of me, and even though they weren’t the best people my mom still gave birth to me and deserved respect. idk what to do. AITA?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> (1) I screamed at my parents that they didnt deserve to be in my life. (2) I think that even though I don’t like them, it was disrespectful and could make me be seen as an AH.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. Op I think it’s time to accept your parents abused you as a kid. NORMAL punishments don’t include taking a child’s dinner away just because they cry over a tv show or “didn’t listen to them”. If I was you I’d cut contact entirely and refuse to have them in your home ever again
NTA
This is disgusting behavior by your parents. You had every right to be angry with them and in turn they had no right to be upset. They chose how your relationship would go when they treated you like that and tried to show up in your life again randomly. Please cut them off completely OP and I hope your partner supports and helps you get through this.
NTA. Your parents fucked around and found out. They should have informed you beforehand they intended to show up and the mess that followed from them doing it unannounced is totally on them.
I mean, of course you could have been more respectful and it’s a shame about the younger cousins who got scared of all the yelling and screaming. But you are not the asshole here. You did your best.
NTA, but I sure hope you’re getting professional help with managing the trauma your parents inflicted on you. Since you’re studying psychology, I figure you are. Eventually, I hope you get to the place where you can stand up to your parents with calm assertiveness instead of rage, because you’ll feel so empowered by this. But it will probably be years of work before you get to this point. I wasn’t able to take a stand (rather than just reacting) until I was in my early 30s, and my parents weren’t nearly as bad as yours. Even now, in my early 60s, I’ll get an adrenaline rush if someone’s behavior reminds me of my mother’s rage and triggers me, and I have to struggle a bit to keep my balance. Forgive yourself for expressing the damage they’ve done to you. BTW, yoga helped a lot with the trauma reaction; maybe you and Ren can give it a try–it’s a fun thing to do as a couple.
This is fake?? đź’€ Princeton admissions results do not come out before January/March depending on when you apply. This can’t be written by someone who has actually gone through the college application process
NTA. Just because someone gives birth to you or meets any basic ass requirement of shelter,etc. doesn’t mean they are a good person deserving of anything.
NTA, parents need to understand that they do not have any rights into their adults children’s lives, especially if they are shitty parents.
Poorly written. Keep trying. Post your fiction in the appropriate subreddits. This is for real life. Good luck with your writing.
NTA. They made YOU all about THEM your whole life. You were the thing that they could force to make THEM look good. They were abusive, self-centered, narcissistic, and sociopathic.
Ren has got your back!
Tell your aunt you are so you made her so uncomfortable. But, no, you don’t have to see your horrible parents.
Am I seeing Borderline Personality Disorder here?
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/borderline-personality-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20370237