So around a week and a half ago i just got back from being in the bay and i go to see my grandmother and help her with anything she needs around the house since she’s up there in age and cant do any heavy lifting. After being there for a couple hours and just talking after i did everything she needed she offered to give me a ride home since i don’t have a car since im mostly in the bay . When I arrived home we talked some more just about general things .(mind you I was basically the beloved grandson out of all her grandchildren) and she asked oh how’s your friend doing with what’s going on and I told her my friend is doing better her neighbor is helping her through it and she’s really pretty especially with her hijab. Then next thing I know I’m getting lectured about religion blah blah then she asked “ is Jesus in your life “ and I told her no he’s not since I didn’t want to lie to her she’s getting up there in age and it really hurt me to lie to her really about anything . And the stare she gave me okay and just stopped talking which I took that as my queue to leave and go inside. I tell her I love her and will go help her out again before I leave again and she just says “ok bye “ and that was the last I heard of her until I texted her hey do you need any help and I got a reply saying “ I just want to be left alone please.” And that’s where my life is right now the person that raised me my whole life disowned me for being honest with her
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So around a week and a half ago i just got back from being in the bay and i go to see my grandmother and help her with anything she needs around the house since she’s up there in age and cant do any heavy lifting. After being there for a couple hours and just talking after i did everything she needed she offered to give me a ride home since i don’t have a car since im mostly in the bay . When I arrived home we talked some more just about general things .(mind you I was basically the beloved grandson out of all her grandchildren) and she asked oh how’s your friend doing with what’s going on and I told her my friend is doing better her neighbor is helping her through it and she’s really pretty especially with her hijab. Then next thing I know I’m getting lectured about religion blah blah then she asked “ is Jesus in your life “ and I told her no he’s not since I didn’t want to lie to her she’s getting up there in age and it really hurt me to lie to her really about anything . And the stare she gave me okay and just stopped talking which I took that as my queue to leave and go inside. I tell her I love her and will go help her out again before I leave again and she just says “ok bye “ and that was the last I heard of her until I texted her hey do you need any help and I got a reply saying “ I just want to be left alone please.” And that’s where my life is right now the person that raised me my whole life disowned me for being honest with her
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> My grandmother disowned me for telling her I’m not religious
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. You don’t have to lie or pretend. She is old enough to know how to handle disappointment. If she really disowns you, that would be very sad. But you didn’t do anything wrong.
NTA. I hope you can reconcile. This sounds painful.
NTA, I’m hoping that you both can reconcile your differences. Just don’t give up on reaching out to her just yet.
NTA.
People should not ask questions they are not ready to hear the answers for.
NTA.
Too bad that you’re grandmother is ine of “those kind” of Christians. You know, the one’s who can’t fathom to Jesus wasn’t white, blond and blue eyed. Just mentioning you know someone who wears a hijab shouldn’t anger anyone let alone that much. Maybe it was saying you thought she was pretty frightened grandmother so much .
Remind your grandmother that her god gave everyone free will. Not just Christians like her.
NTA
Unfortunately, many religious people simply can’t handle being disagreed with.
You were not an asshole for telling her the truth.
NTA. She didn’t disown you playboy. She just sounds catholic. I don’t know your fam better than you, so I don’t know if she’ll get over it, if she’ll be harping on you, or if she thinks you’re doomed. Think on what you know, let that inform what you can guess on yo future.
NTA.
NTA. This is up to her to sort out in herself, and I’m sorry she’s so quickly turned off of you over this. But before you starting thinking she’s disowned you, give it time. She may be working through this and need the space.
My grandmother is like this, and that is why at 103 years old she is a shell of a person in a nursing home with no family visitors.
NTA. If a person asks another person about their beliefs or values, then need to be ready to accept what they hear. Age isn’t an excuse for disrespect.
INFO:She said she disowned you? That’s not what this narrative says. Did she text you later and say that she disowned you?
NTA
The world has changed and people have different points of view on religion these days and whether it’s integrated into their lives or not.
In the past you must believe in something and be associated with a group for acceptance etc but that’s no longer the case.
Your grandmother is probably realizing even if you were her favorite and may have done a few things or had tendencies that were a reflection of her influence on you before, you are your own person now.
Unfortunately since you were caught off guard, you spoke your truth which seems to represent to her, a door closed.
Instead there is a more delicate phrase, “I’m spiritual and still in the process of creating my path”, which leaves a door open.
It can mean you are willing to have a discourse on the subject which is healthy and respectful on both sides.
You can share spirituality without being the same religion.
Hopefully, she will adjust and both of you can grow in to a new phase of your relationship.
Good Luck
NTA. Although I doubted about you talking about “the bay” like the whole world should understand that people from the bay of Biscay don’t have a car or whatever.
But of course your religion shouldn’t matter to your grandma .
NTA Of course not. You were honest, and you exemplify good values as you have been loving and helpful to her. That’s the most important thing. She needs to see her hypocrisy. Don’t give up on her just yet or assume you’ve been disowned. No guarantee this will work, but this is what I would do: Treat her saying “I just want to be left alone please.” as if she meant it just for that day. Act like nothing has changed, and keep being a loving, helpful grandson. Show up unannounced to help her with things and maybe bring her groceries or things she needs. This will cause her to rethink what she thinks a non-Christian would act like. If she says it again, just cheerfully say you’ll come by another time. Play dumb. Make her actually say she has disowned you, if she has the guts to. Tell her you are the same person you have always been and who she has always loved. Assure her you will always love her and will try hard to forgive her.
NTA but give her some processing time. You probably shocked her.
NTA here. “Good, God fearing Christians” are some of the most judgemental, narrow minded and nasty people you can meet. Not saying all, but definitely some – please don’t come for me good Christians, I know you’re out there too.
You can’t help living your truth just like you can’t help how she feels. Ask to talk with her, see where her head is at. Maybe you can rescue the relationship, maybe not.