Long story short my teacher was having a conversation with one of my friends about careers. This teacher has been teaching our batch specifically for the past 4 years so he knows everyone’s strengths and weaknesses pretty well. I’m in tenth grade know so the future is a very important. So I asked him
” what do you think I should be in the future?” He looks at me straight in the eye and says “just be a gold digger”. And this isn’t like specific to me ( I think) he’s said before that for the girls it’s easy cause they can just marry some rich guy. As our teacher I thought that was disrespectful. So I talk to my family about it (my mom, my dad and my brother). My brother was completely shocked by what the teacher said but my parents think I was in the wrong because I asked such a question… As a 10th grader in the next few years I will be thrown into the workspace so I just want to know AITA for asking such a question? If so I’d learn from it and refrain from asking such questions. But yea thoughts?
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Long story short my teacher was having a conversation with one of my friends about careers. This teacher has been teaching our batch specifically for the past 4 years so he knows everyone’s strengths and weaknesses pretty well. I’m in tenth grade know so the future is a very important. So I asked him
” what do you think I should be in the future?” He looks at me straight in the eye and says “just be a gold digger”. And this isn’t like specific to me ( I think) he’s said before that for the girls it’s easy cause they can just marry some rich guy. As our teacher I thought that was disrespectful. So I talk to my family about it (my mom, my dad and my brother). My brother was completely shocked by what the teacher said but my parents think I was in the wrong because I asked such a question… As a 10th grader in the next few years I will be thrown into the workspace so I just want to know AITA for asking such a question? If so I’d learn from it and refrain from asking such questions. But yea thoughts?
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> I mean I asked the question “what should I be when I’m older” and that triggered the whole series of events. My parents tell me I’m in the wrong but me and my brother thinks otherwise. I’m trying to widen my set of opinions to find out who if IATA
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. You asked for legitimate career advice. Your teacher responded with sexist BS. That’s on him, not you.
NTA. That is such a creepy thing to say to a kid that’s genuinely asking for advice
>AITA for asking such a question?
You are NTA. Your teacher very very very much is. A sexist asshole to be precise. This is exactly the sort of question that kids your age ask, and if he is giving such “advice” to multiple girls, he is doing you and all of the others a great disservice.
I’d report his ass to the administration.
>my parents think I was in the wrong because I asked such a question…
They might be assholes too.
Nta, your teacher should not be a teacher. Completely inappropriate.
NTA for asking for guidance on careers. And your teacher should be fired. A teacher, of all people, should be helping and encouraging and guiding you to get good at things, to accomplish things. Instead, the message was “Don’t bother, just rely on some man.” So sexist and outdated. And the opposite of what the teacher is supposed to be telling you.
NTA I think but why did your parents think the question was inappropriate? Did you ask it with an attitude or something?
I’m just so confused. It’s an inappropriate response but if you’d been a smart aleck and he was joking …it’s still inappropriate but at least understandable.
As to your question it’s perfectly acceptable to ask career advice
I could imagine someone saying this without being a sexist asshole. I OFTEN hear people in their 40s saying things like “damn, why couldn’t I marry rich.” Being a gold digger is a much better life than being part of the working class. Maybe he was giving tongue in cheek advice that might be understood by other adults in the working world but would be misinterpreted by teens.
NAH
He’s your teacher for the past 4 years? That puts him in a good position to speak to your strengths and weaknesses.
NAH. Just someone getting early insight to how they’ve portrayed themselves to the world. I know a couple of really nice people who’s goals were to marry professional hockey players, and they are both quite happy with their lives having achieved their goals.
NTA. Your teacher made the mistake of talking to a teenager like an adult. He was out of line.
He was being sarcastic, and may even be cynical.
Report him and he will probably stop.
NTA but your parents are. Tell them to join a country/yacht club so you can look for a future mate.
Oh golly geez that’s horrible! Definitely NTA, that teacher of yours shoyld definitely learn some gosh darn manners I tell ya!
NTA. You’re in tenth grade. Of COURSE you’re supposed to ask teachers for advice on your future… that is LITERALLY part of their job!! This teacher isn’t just unhelpful; he crossed the line by giving you such a disgusting, sexist response. Telling you to be a GOLD DIGGER isn’t just disrespectful, it’s downright OFFENSIVE. He’s supposed to be a mentor, guiding you to think critically about your future, not reducing you to some outdated stereotype that belongs in the trash.
And your parents? They should be FURIOUS that a teacher is undermining your potential, not blaming you for asking a perfectly reasonable question that, I repeat, is PART OF HIS JOB TO HELP YOU WITH. Even if just to say “I can’t help, but you should schedule a meeting with the guidance counselor.”
Report your teacher, and don’t let your parents’ lack of understanding about what a teacher’s job duties are to stop you from pursuing better advice.
NTA – That is an incredibly inappropriate thing for a teacher to say to a student, or anyone to say to anyone else.
she take my money, when i’m neeeed, oh she’s a trifling, friend indeed, ohh she’s a gold digger, from way over town, who digs on me
nah but seriously you’re nta. just asking your teacher a question that’s relevant to your future and all that is not a bad thing. your teacher is CRAZY for saying that in response, too.
If your teacher regularly says this to his female students, he’s in the wrong profession. There’s no place in the classroom for this redpilled horseshit. Teenage girls aren’t exactly famous for their confidence; having a teacher who devalues them to their faces is not acceptable.
NTA. Your teacher’s a chucklefuck and your parents failed you on this.
NTA the teacher should be reported to multiple people up the food chain, so it does not get swept under the rug.
NTA – teacher is. Parents are also. But it is the wrong question.
What are your values? What is most important to you? What is your recipe that will make you feel like your life was well lived? Figure that out and do that. Nobody other than you should tell you how to spend your life, but at the end you want to know you spent it on what was most important to you.
NTA
What your teacher said was inappropriate.
More info needed – N T A for asking for advice, but I am noticing a lot of basic spelling mistakes like know/now and write/right in your post and responses. Definitely not defending the gold digger comment, but also hard to tell the context of effort OP has put in the past 4 years prior to asking for the advice she’s claiming to request.
Do you regularly participate without attitude in class?
Why did your parents think this was inappropriate?
Was this question asked at a correct time for the flow of class, or were you being disruptive?
Leaning towards E S H
Your teacher simply stated what he has observed: you’re pretty and dumb. That’s what he knows. Guess it’s your job to prove him wrong.
For what it’s worth I don’t think there was anything wrong with your question. However his answer was disrespectful, and shows an apathy towards his job as a TEACHER. There are a few occasions in life when we must be careful with our words, as a father to a son I know that when he asks me a sincere question, I must answer in a sincere way because everything I say as an adult to a young person, is foundational.
NTA, report him
NTA obviously, but marrying rich is better than being the working class.