My roommate had a wedding last weekend, and asked me to come along. I wasn’t invited to the wedding, but he wanted the company for the 6hr drive (using his car) and at the hotel room. So during his time at the wedding I bummed around in the hotel room, and went to see a couple movies. We drove back home and stopped at a casino (which was not out of the way) that I wanted to check out, and then continued back home. He now wants me to pay him $215 to split the cost of the hotel and gas. Should I be paying for this? Bc tbh I wouldn’t have gone if I had known this. I was under the impression of just tagging along, and was simply doing him a favor. He would have had to drive and get a hotel anyway. If there’s anyone that’s been in this situation before how did you handle it? How’d the conversation go? What should I say (or not say) so that I don’t have to waste $215 for quite literally doing nothing.
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My roommate had a wedding last weekend, and asked me to come along. I wasn’t invited to the wedding, but he wanted the company for the 6hr drive (using his car) and at the hotel room. So during his time at the wedding I bummed around in the hotel room, and went to see a couple movies. We drove back home and stopped at a casino on the way that I wanted to check out, and then continued back home. He now wants me to pay him $215 to split the cost of the hotel and gas. Should I be paying for this? Bc tbh I wouldn’t have gone if I had known this. I was under the impression of just tagging along, and was simply doing him a favor. He would have had to drive and get a hotel anyway. If there’s anyone that’s been in this situation before how did you handle it? How’d the conversation go? What should I say (or not say) so that I don’t have to waste $215 for quite literally doing nothing.
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> My roommate is asking for money that I don’t feel inclined to pay, but am I the asshole for not paying?
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. You were a travel buddy, not a guest. Fuel cost is a more reasonable split, but hotel charge is on him. Clear communication could’ve avoided this.
NTA, but this should have been made explicit before the trip. When traveling with someone you should always ask who is going to pay for these expenses. ESPECIALLY if you aren’t planning to contribute. It’s reasonable in this case not to pay, and the roommate should have said from the beginning if he did want you to split the costs, but since he didn’t you should have asked.
NTA. Absolutely not. If he wanted to invite you only to split the cost, he should have told you in advance. I would give him a small amount for gas, since you also explored the area together a bit, but otherwise it’s all on him.
NTA.
215 to understand who you are dealing with for the rest of your life is a small price to pay for that sort of info. It will also leave you in a very positive light….
See you refuse and this story gets told for years from his perspective to anyone that will listen. That type of shit hangs around and then you have to be petty and try to right the record with anyone that remembers why they think your a miser.
Anyway, NTA but I would personally pay it and store it in long term memory because I am 100% sure it is going to pay dividends in the future for you because you have this experience with this person to lean on for a decision. Cheers!
what the fuck thats not a friend NTA
I lean NAH
I don’t think it’s reasonable for you to have expected a free trip. He obviously asked you to going him for the company, but I honestly feel like the onus was on you to clarify what (if anything) your cost would be.
Even something like “I’d love to but I can’t really afford a hotel or gas” even if that’s not true, it would have opened the door to figure out if he was willing to pay for everything.
I don’t think you’re the AH since it kind of blindsided you, but he’s not either.
If you pay just to keep the peace in the home, let him know your issues with the payment and that you won’t be “riding” with him again.
NTA…If it wasn’t discussed beforehand, there was no agreement. It sounds like you were being used both financially and for your company.
he didnt want the company…
NTA. If this wasn’t mentioned beforehand it’s not ok for him to spring it on you now.
Oh, this is a tricky one.
If you hadn’t stopped at the casino, I would say you should approach your roommate and point out that the drive and hotel room were not taken for your benefit, and that you felt you were asked to come as a favor.
Point out to your roommate that if they wanted you to go to help split costs rather than to just give him company on the trip, they needed to make that clear up-front and not retroactively. You did not benefit from the hotel because you weren’t there to attend the wedding.
Because you did benefit by getting to stop at a casino you wanted to check out, I think it would be a fair compromise to offer to pay for 1/2 of the gas, but not the hotel.
You definitely need to remember this. This is a roommate where everything needs to be spelled out in advance and in writing. If they ask you about them getting a new TV, you can’t just say “sure I’m good with that” you need to say “To be clear, you’re talking about you purchasing and paying for a new TV yourself? I’m not wanting to jointly own a TV with you, do not buy it if you expect me to split the cost”.
NTA
NAH. Maybe talk to him and agree to pay for the hotel, as it is mostly more expensive for 2 people then for 1. But as he would have droven there anyway and you had nothing to do there other then being his drag along, you shouldn’t have to pay for the gas.
Maybe start the conversation something like: “He man, you chaught me off guard when you asked about my share of pay for the trip. I thought I would just drag along so you wouldn’t be alone and haven’t thought that I would have to pay you for it because honestly I wouldn’t have gone and spend my money on that trip as there was nothing there for me that I couldn’t have done in our city. But I agree that we hadn’t made any agreement before. So how is it, that I pay for my share of the hotel but as you would have driven there anyway, I won’t cover gas.”
Hmmm. YTA purely for saying you got nothing. You got a road trip with your buddy, visit to a casino, presumably a pretty chill couple of days?
That’s not nothing.
NTA, but more in the sense that your roommate is in the wrong versus being malicious.
I agree with you that since your roommate was going on this trip anyways and he asked you to come to keep him company, then you shouldn’t have to pay since he was going to be driving and staying in the hotel anyway. Your contribution was preventing him from making that drive by himself. If this is a new circumstance for him, he may be defaulting to the idea of splitting costs when traveling with other people.
One consideration: if he had to upgrade the hotel room to something more expensive for you, then I’d understand if you had to at least cover the difference. But that’s obviously not all he’s asking for.
Nta
“Gee, friend. I wish you had told me before we took the trip. I assumed you just wanted company on the long drive. I am not in a position to give you the money right now. How about I pay you $1 a week for the next 215 weeks?”
NTA – I would ask why he thinks you should pay anything.
State that he asked you to go to keep him
Company during the long drive and you didn’t even go to the wedding. That any cost was never discussed and you were doing him a favor by going.so with that you don’t feel you owe him anything as you wouldn’t have went if you would had known
NTA if this wasn’t mentioned at all before the trip.
NTA. He ASKED you to tag along. You didn’t invite yourself. Any conversation about splitting costs or you chipping in should have been initiated BY HIM BEFORE GOING so that the expectations would be clearly communicated and set. I don’t think it’s fair at all for him to ask for this after the fact,
ESH. It should gave occurred to both of you to discuss who would be covering expenses prior to going.
As for who should actually cover the expenses…except for your meals…I think it is reasonable that he would. He’d have had the same expenses of attending the wedding (including his hotel room and gas) whether or not you kept him company on the journey.
NTA.
If he wanted company for the drive and wanted you to split costs, he should have asked you if you were OK with it.
It could damage the friendship but if he fusses about this, hes not much of a friend.
I’d say he’s taking advantage of you. He invited you so he wouldn’t have to do the drive alone. I would nicely decline and explain your reasoning. If he doesn’t agree with it then that’s on him. If things get chilly it’s time for a new roommate. Maybe give some for gas since you stopped at the casino. He would have paid for a hotel room anyway.
NTA. He should’ve communicated that before. It totally changes the plans. He’s TA. Saw someone say he used you for your company and money and I agree. You should tell him what you said here… you wouldn’t had gone had you known it wasn’t just to keep him company. $200 is a lot of money. Shame on him. Tell him you don’t pay people/friends to keep them company. If he was going to ask for the money then it should’ve been up front!!
NTA. I’d tell him “respectfully, had you told me you expected me to pay I wouldn’t have come, I can’t afford that.” If he presses, I’d say “I was under the impression that you just wanted me to tag along for company, not for splitting cost. You need to be up front about that next time so I have the choice. Thanks!”
Do not pay. He is being unreasonable.
NTA – you were there to keep him company.
Meh. It’s odd it wasn’t talked about beforehand.
I’m leaning to throw the roommate some $ for the sake of peace at home, and chalk this up as a lessons learned to better communicate next time. The amount is pretty small, and you did benefit from the getaway (used the hotel likely more than they did, even) and the trip was adjusted to accommodate your casino detour too.
In absence of him explicitly stating beforehand that you can tag along for free, I think the default assumption for road trips is that you’d contribute financially in some way.
If he didn’t tell you upfront you’d have to split the cost of the hotel and contribute to gas, then no you don’t pay him. If he wanted you to split the cost he should have said that upfront.
The conversation goes, you didn’t say I’d have to pay for the hotel and gas, what you said was wanted company for the 6hr drive and at the hotel so no I’m not giving you any money and you wouldn’t have gone if you had to pay. If he gets upset or angry tell him to be forthcoming in the future so there’s no confusion on who’s paying or contributing.
Oh no, not the asshole. Your friend is gross. I would just handle it exactly as it is.
This wasn’t a super exciting trip you planned and we’re looking forward to, you road shotgun. You were passenger princess for his entertainment. That’s how much his entertainment cost. Maybe You should be sending him the bill for your movie tickets.
I mean, maybe I would reiterate that, but I went to visit a friend recently, she needed me to drive her car down to her after it broke down up here in town and had been repaired. I got stuck down there for a freaking week with no money, the deal was she would You know feed me and help me. It was just a disaster and on our way to meet my ride home finally, they stopped at raising Cane‘s, the drivers. We had no control over it, me and my boyfriend. We ordered one combo no maybe we got two actually. All I know is she told me it would be $20 and she would need it back, after she ordered. I’ve never been there, that is not anything even near my budget at the time. And yeah, I definitely you know just said sure I got you girl. And then I went home. Because I’m not sending her that money and I didn’t wanna be stuck in a car with her mad. So you know there’s a couple of ways to handle it obviously lol. Ignore them or state the obvious. If you pay though, you’re just encouraging this idiot
The only thing you got out of this trip was a visit to a casino on the way home? He would have had to pay for the room and petrol without you. NTA. He should have paid you to keep you company, in fact your payment could be the casino visit. If he didn’t mention it beforehand he can pound sand.
Ask him to itemize it in writing then add your services (keeping him awake while driving, etc) and give that to him. Since your services will be more than the trip costs, he will owe you you money! He didn’t clarify ahead of time, neither did you. Even!
Nta life lesson to discuss ahead of time. I do think you should pay for your own food/activities, which is sounds like you did.
The only way I can see you contributing if it’s a really cool destination that you wanted to go to or something.
NTA. If he wanted you to split the costs then he needed to say it prior to the trip not afterwards. That’s a dick move.
The cost of the trip should have been talked about before leaving, if this friend expected you to chip in. Depending on how you want to proceed with the friendship will affect what recompenses you feel like giving. If you want to continue the friendship pay up, if the friendship isn’t that important, stiff him.
NTA. This should have been discussed before the trip.