Context… my husband and I bought our house just over 2 years ago for over market value in a bidding war. We met the old owners twice during final walk throughs and they were nice enough, so we all exchanged numbers and they explained if there’s anything we needed help with to reach out. They ended up having some unique / weird nuances with the house that the husband built for the pool and we had to reach out directly because professionals couldn’t figure it out. That said, after we were settled in a few months in they never heard from us again and personal space was totally respected.
They have had packages sent here every 5- 6 months since we moved in. They moved to a very rural area about half hour away from us, and the packages didn’t come frequent enough for me to have any uncomfortable conversations.
Tonight however… a boundary was crossed. It’s the Friday of a long weekend, I got off work early and I was out at my neighbours backyard having a drink and hanging out with my spouse and the neighbours. The old owner had been notified by the courier that a package they incorrectly sent to my house 2 years after moving had been delivered, and they proceeded to come without any notice. When they realized I wasn’t there but saw my car, they sent the neighbours kid into my other neighbors backyard to retrieve me and bring me out to tend to their package… when they showed up out of nowhere.
I later checked my phone and realized the wife had asked if her husband can come, but I hadn’t even seen it until after all of this happened. I felt it necessary to draw a boundary and told her simply that it was inappropriate and disrespectful to show up unannounced and collect me from someone else’s property when I wasn’t home. (The backyards are very private and there was a 6 ft tall wood gate the neighbors kid was shouting through to find me)…after this and she went UNHINGED… told me her husband happened to be in town… that I must enjoy not being a decent human being and I hate helping people….she called me a miserable person and that she feels bad for my neighbors etc etc.
My msgs to her were incredibly respectful, but firm with my boundaries and ensuring she knew that I did not appreciate what happened tonight.
I need a sanity check here.
AITA?
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Context… my husband and I bought our house just over 2 years ago for over market value in a bidding war. We met the old owners twice during final walk throughs and they were nice enough, so we all exchanged numbers and they explained if there’s anything we needed help with to reach out. They ended up having some unique / weird nuances with the house that the husband built for the pool and we had to reach out directly because professionals couldn’t figure it out. That said, after we were settled in a few months in they never heard from us again and personal space was totally respected.
They have had packages sent here every 5- 6 months since we moved in. They moved to a very rural area about half hour away from us, and the packages didn’t come frequent enough for me to have any uncomfortable conversations.
Tonight however… a boundary was crossed. It’s the Friday of a long weekend, I got off work early and I was out at my neighbours backyard having a drink and hanging out with my spouse and the neighbours. The old owner had been notified a package they incorrectly sent to my house 2 years after moving had been delivered and proceeded to come without any notice. When they realized I wasn’t there but saw my car, they sent the neighbours kid into my other neighbors backyard to retrieve me and bring me out to tend to their package… when they showed up out of nowhere.
I later checked my phone and realized the wife had asked if her husband can come, but I hadn’t even seen it until after all of this happened. I felt it necessary to draw a boundary and told her simply that it was inappropriate and disrespectful to show up unannounced and collect me from someone else’s property when I wasn’t home. (The backyards are very private and there was a 6 ft tall wood gate the neighbors kid was shouting through to find me)…after this and she went UNHINGED… told me her husband happened to be in town… that I must enjoy not being a decent human being and I hate helping people….she called me a miserable person and that she feels bad for my neighbors etc etc.
My msgs to her were incredibly respectful, but firm with my boundaries and ensuring she knew that I did not appreciate what happened tonight.
I need a sanity check here.
AITA?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> AITA for texting her letting her know this shouldn’t happen again and that their actions tonight showing up uninvited and retrieving me from someone else’s property crossed a boundary?
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Not the A-hole. It’s your property, they shouldn’t come onto your property and steal stuff. IF they take the packages what’s stopping them from taking more? Where is their line? Tell them to stop or take them to small claims court. If there’s a fence it might be breaking and entering. Also if they haven’t updated their address that’s their fault. They don’t have a right to sneak into your yard because of their mistake.
Next time there’s any kind of delivery, return it to sender with “nobody here by that name”
NTA
NTA
And I would be refusing all deliveries for them from now on.
There is no legitimate reason for them to be drafting you as their package service. They need to have their stuff delivered to their own house.
NTA, but don’t accept any of their packages and inform her that you will be sending back any packages that arrive under their name, that way she has no reason to contact you or show up at your home and you can escalate thing if the issue continues.
NTA
They are totally wrong in so many ways.
NTA. I would not accept delivery of anything else that is not yours. They’ve had ample time to appropriately change their address. If something else is delivered that is not yours, call the delivery company to pick it back up, or drop it off at a UPS store or something and say it isn’t yours. I would not continue to deal with this lady.
NTA everytime they send a package to your address on purpose, take it inside and write return to sender then have the mailman take it back. They shouldn’t be using your house as a drop off zone bc its easier. And they dont get to have unfettered access to you just bc they lived there years ago
Two years is a bit much, I appreciate you were helping them out but that isn’t a permanent solution. NTA
I would also be contacting USPS, FedEx, UPS, etc stating not to be delivering any packages with their name on it. Idk if that’s a thing, but I would be quickly finding out. NTA.
NTA Two years is a ridiculous amount of time to be pulling this stunt. The previous owners of my house asked my neighbor if we would rent it to their daughter when we were snowbirds. Not just NO but hell NO.
This also has quite a few similarities to the ploy that criminals have, in which they purposefully have packages containing illegal substances sent to a random person’s home, while the criminal watches for the delivery, and then knocks on the recipient’s door, claiming that the package is for them, which they do to protect themselves in case law enforcement has discovered the package’s contents and may arrest whoever it’s delivered to.
NTA this is seriously creepy behaviour. How do you know she’s not having illicit goods mailed to your house? That nonsense needs to stop, now.
NTA just tell them you won’t be accepting any deliveries from them from now on and refuse to accept delivery of any items. They can have their parcels delivered to a local post office and collect them from that location.
NTA. they shouldn’t be using your address as a mailing address.
NTA. And I would no longer be nice about it. Tell them you left the package outside and have no idea where it is.
Sounds like they are up to something illegal. I’d refuse all future deliveries, if boxes or letters are left there hand them to the postal worker or drive them to the post office. Cross out your address and write “MOVED” “FORWARD” on the front. That’s what I did.
NTA. When you didn’t respond to her messages she should have left it alone. Next time something gets delivered have it returned to sender.
NTA. Ive literally never done anything except toss straight into the trash anything that is addressed to my address but not our names.
NTA
I agree with others, she’s been rude and entitled called out on it
“You have worn out our goodwill by this, anything further that arrives will be returned to sender only.”
NTA i would say “at this point I don’t feel comfortable with you having packages sent here, from this point if we receive any packages we will be doing return to sender. Please dont stop by again, if you can’t see how uncomfortable it is that you would drop by with confirmation from us that it’s ok that’s on you. Please don’t message me again as I’m going to block you. Any further attempts at contact will lead to us looking into legal recourse.”
See, the problem is you set the expectation that it’s fine to send shit to your house. And you didn’t stop this shit even though you apparently had their number. You did this to yourself.
Rule number one of any relationship: set your boundaries early.
NTA, but now you know better.
I had issues with a previous resident sending mail to my house after they moved out.
It happened 3 times and it stopped immediately when I rejected that 3rd package.
I suppose I’ll say NTA. When we moved into our current house, there were all kinds of overreach from the former residents. They drafted my landlord to get us to send to them special documents. They drafted the neighbors who were close friends to pester me about some document…and that’s after I trashed it because it had been weeks.
I have had 3 packages arrive at an old address after 10 years. The first 2 times, the new resident understood. The third time, she pretended to not know who I was, why I was there, or that the paperwork that arrived had ever been there.
Basically, after a while, the new residents get sick and fucking tired of covering for the prior residents who can’t get their shit together.
NTA. The old owners crossed a major boundary by showing up unannounced and involving your neighbors to track you down. You politely set a reasonable limit, but the wife’s hostile reaction was completely unnecessary. You handled this maturely, and their response is not your problem.
If none of this very sane advice works, tell them you’ll bring their packages to the USPS to have them x-rayed before “returning to sender.” It does sound like they’re up to something dodgy, especially given the fact that they’re obviously tracking the packages and then urgently retrieving them. (Edited for grammar.)
I bet I can guess the generation of these previous owners.
NTA
I’d send one last message that any more packages that arrive at your house will be marked “Return to sender” and returned.
Then I’d block her.
NTA
Have anything addressed to them returned to sender and block them.
Block both of their numbers and return any future packages to sender. You don’t owe them anything, and nothing good will come from future contact.
I could see for the next few months
accidentally getting packages sent to the old address. Example, friends/family not updating the address.
maybe something like Amazon having the old address on file and them not realizing…ONCE.
But TWO years later? At this point they are making choices with their mailing habits. And she really crossed boundaries. Block her number and any future packages are to be refused as addressee no longer lives at this residence. If you want to be nice include a forwarding address…or don’t.its been years and they haven’t figured their package delivery out yet…doesn’t make it a You problem.
Whoa! Isn’t she an entitled nut job.
Now she gets zero packages that are sent to YOUR house.
Too bad, so sad.
You are NTA.
That woman is out of touch with reality.
NTA. From now on refuse packages or have delivery service come pick them up. There is no reason tot should still be getting their deliveries after 2 years. And then to be rude to boot, nope, nope nope.
NTA. They should’ve waited for a response to the text or phone call. Then to make a neighbor kid go looking for you? There’s no respect for privacy or boundaries.
I would even tell them after 5 of these packages are delivered to your home, everything else becomes yours
NTA. And don’t allow them to pick up any more packages. Return everything that’s not for you to the services that dropped it off. There have been weird scams with deliveries, and while the ones Ive heard of are not typically former home owners, you don’t want any kind of liability for a list package or involved in one that contains anything illegal.
There’s no reason they couldn’t have updated their addresses by now, and no reason to continue facilitating their accidents if they’re going to be this invasive and rude.
Basically any parcel delivery will come pick up boxes if you contact them and explain that person doesn’t reside at your address. It should be a smooth process for you, and a couple of times will likely ensure the former owners finally pay attention because the hassle of dealing with the companies likely will be more annoying for them then visiting their former house and invading your privacy.