So my parents are forcing me to get a job. For context
I’m 16
I’m dual enrolled meaning I do high school and college
I have sports Monday-Friday from 4:00-7:00 Every night.
So I told them, I’m fine with getting a job, but when will I have free time to myself?
My parents yell at me and say that I’m entitled and my dad says he is the father of the house and it goes by what he says.
How and when will I have free time for myself and my friends, genuinely. My mom wants me to work on the weekends at target.
so am I entitled?
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So my parents are forcing me to get a job. For context
I’m 16
I’m dual enrolled meaning I do high school and college
I have sports Monday-Friday from 4:00-7:00 Every night.
So I told them, I’m fine with getting a job, but when will I have free time to myself?
My parents yell at me and say that I’m entitled and my dad says he is the father of the house and it goes by what he says.
How and when will I have free time for myself and my friends, genuinely. My mom wants me to work on the weekends at target.
so am I entitled?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1.) I asked my parents when will I have free time if I get a job
2.) I’m seeming entitled
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Yeah, you are. It’s time to grow up and not prioritize having fun. You need to learn responsibility. Why do you think you’re entitled to so much time for yourself? Even if you work 8 hours Sat and Sun, there are 16 other hours in the day. You just sound lazy, honestly. YTA
NTA. You are 16. School is your job, and it sounds like you’re doing really well at it
NTA
You’re doing far more than most people your age. Enjoy it while you can before you’re forced to burn yourself out like the rest of us.
Your father is a fool. Even adults have time to themselves and a life outside of their responsibilities, which you’ve got more than your share of as it is.
NTA and with how they’re acting I’m betting they’re going to be stealing your money if you did get one. Show them your schedule on an actual daily calendar. Tell them your job right now is school. You don’t have time for a second job. You need time to do homework, sleep, and just be. Your schedule is busy enough.
If you have to go to interviews tell them your parents are making you and you won’t be showing up because your schedule is already packed. They won’t hire you. (Also is there any chance they’re trying to sabotage your grades/sports? Some parents do this to try keeping control after you’re 18). Don’t get a job until you have the time and are an adult so they can’t steal your earnings. Keep your focus on school so you can get away from them.
NTA, I understand parents wanting a summer job, or a job if you had a laxer schedule, but school is your job right now and they need to understand how important it is. Do they understand that you will save a ton of money by doing dual credit now? You’ll save more money that way than you will working weekends for minimum wage. Present it that way.
Do they want the money from your job?
You’re juggling school, college, and sports, which is already like a full-time job, and it’s reasonable to want at least some downtime to breathe and hang out with friends.
Well Mr father of the house, let’s see what the law has to say about forcing labor on a minor. I think it’s your job as my parent to house me and feed me and make sure I have proper clothes and shoes.
NTA. You need time to study but you also need time to blow off steam. If you get a job on top of everything you’re doing you’re gonna burn out. The only way would be to drop college or a sport. How do they expect you to keep up your grades on top of everything else?!
INFO what is your family’s financial situation?
NTA. There are two pertinent questions I see. 1. How does not wanting a job make you entitled? Your parents are required, by law, to provide you food, clothing, shelter, and schooling until you are 18 in the US. Does expecting the bare minimum make you entitled? No.
My recommendation is to sit down and see if you can have a reasonable discussion with them about this. Unfortunately, you are going to have to be the reasonable adult in the room since dad has already made his position clear and probably won’t feel any obligation to explain himself. So take some time to write out your thoughts and formulate your questions prior to a sit down.
I appreciate everyone’s comments! Just how do I combat this verbally with my parents? Like what do I even say, they’re pretty set on me having a job.
Yeah your entitled a lot of high schoolers do all your doing and still have have to work so yeah your entitled brat
Jury is out on this. Are you asking parents for spending money? If so, you need a job. At 16 you can pay for your own social life, even if it’s just babysitting for the neighbors or dog walking.
When are you supposed to study?
NTA, nor entitled. Not when you’re doing both high school and college. You’re doing way more than most kids.
You didn’t say what your sport was. If it’s seasonal, it will pass.
NTA- and ooof, you are going to be in therapy for years due to your crappy parents.
You have a job- it’s being a student, and a student-athlete. Balancing your studies and athletics are all that you should need to put your time into. I really have to wonder where the push to get a job is coming from… Did your parents go to college or just jump right into the slave wage pool?
NTA. You are doing so much. School is your job right now. Them being so hell bent on you getting a job makes me think they have plans for the money you would earn. You need to have time for some self care and downtime to protect your mental health.
NTA. But my kids were honor students taking AP classes, played sports, and worked a PT job. Their social life didn’t suffer. But if you can’t or don’t want to work a PY job in addition to the heavy load you have now, there’s nothing wrong with that. You’re not entitled at all. Sounds like you’re well rounded and doing a good job.
NTA. Duel enrollment and sports is a lot! Obviously, anybody who thinks you’re entitled has never done all of this at once before.
I don’t think Target will let you work one day a week, but I really have no idea.
Asking you to take responsibility for has or insurance is not, in general, a completely unreasonable ask in most families; however, since you’re already taking college classes and doing sports several hours a day, Saturday and Sunday aren’t juat “hanging out with friends” they’re also days for resting and decompressing. No matter what sport you’re playing, practicing several hours a day takes a toll on your body.
Have you asked your parents which of your extra curriculars, college or sports. they’d like you to quit so you can get a job?
NTA
What more could they want? Your fast tracking your academics, likely netting you a better career earlier in life. It sounds like you’re on a great path.
If you refused to get a job 7-8 years from now, then I’d be concerned.
Target doesn’t hire under 18. For any other job, explain you’re only available on Sundays for four hours. They almost certainly won’t hire you. You’re off the hook.
Ask them which of the other things they want you to give up.
Ur teenager you should gave some fun esp with all classes and sports..how can u do your hw abd study keep up with your grades
So if you are dual enrolled, you will graduate college before most others I’m guessing, and that (being better than average) still isn’t enough for them? NTA
You sound like a very well adjusted young man. Working a job teaches responsibility and builds character. It also teaches u the value of a dollar. I started working very young doing odd jobs for neighbors and had a work permit at age 14. I played sports and still had plenty of time for my friends.
If you want like expensive extra things that they’re telling you that you can get a job and buy yourself then that would be reasonable. But just making you get a job on top of everything else is a little much
You are a minor and you do not have to work
NTA. Move away from them as soon as you can.
Unless you’re asking for money all the time or expect them to finance your activities in excess of things of that nature I don’t see the big deal
You’re 16.. you should be enjoying life and you’re already cramming in a lot of school. Make sure you actually hangout with friends and go do things
You have your whole life to go to college and work..as you get older though hanging out with friends and just enjoying life becomes harder and harder with everyone’s schedule, ppl moving, dying, kids, marriage, just growing apart in general.
You’re definitely NTA. Tell them you’ll get a job if you stop something else. When the heck would you work? You need sleep too. And why are they pushing a job? I sure hope they’re not expecting you to pay expenses when you’re a minor.
NTA. You are a kid and school is your job! Sorry but I don’t agree with your parents at all. While it would be good for some kids to get a job that are just laying around the house and actually being entitled….you are going to both hs and college and in loved in sports! What more can the possibly expect? That’s a lot for anyone let alone a 16 year old. I’m really sorry they are forcing you to do that. I hope that you end up enjoying it and not hating it! I don’t think they realize how detrimental taking away all of your free time can really be. There’s no need to be busy every second of your life, especially as a kid…you have your whole adult life to be stressed and overwhelmed smh. Good luck kiddo I hope it works out for you for the best ❤️
NTA
If you were entitled, you would be sitting there doing nothing and expecting others to take care of you completely. But you’re in HS and also taking college classes, plus playing sports. You’re pretty busy.
Are your parents worried about money? Especially for the sports equipment?
NTA. I was a dual enrollment student as well, and yeah, that plus sports takes up a lot of time. I’m just wondering, why do they even want you to get a job when you’re already working so hard?
It’s all about wants and needs… give up the sports get the job.
You’re parents are trying to mold you into a good human being
NTA, but your parents are.
Sounds like a pretty shitty head of the household if he is to broke and need you to get a job.
Are you hoping to get scholarships? When I was in high school and college, my parents always said that during the semester, my “job” was to do the things that would obtain and keep scholarships. Then I worked actual jobs during the summer.
NTA
But I kinda want to know what sports and why Every weeknight 4-7. That sounds like an intense schedule.
NTA, ever in this situation, and NOT entitled 🙂 OP, I am sorry you are in this position. At that age, your primary goal is school, and then sports. Well, you got that covered and that is your full time position. School is probably already 35 hours/week, and in some places, that is full time with benefits. I would say you “could” have a job in the summer. My parents, when I was that age did not want my brother & I to work a real job until we graduated. We babysat for neighborhood kids and mowed lawns/shoveled snow.
If you were my kid, you would not have to work. Your dad Is the AH. In many states, you need a work permit, too, if you are <18. Good luck; keep us posted.
Dude I went to school with could’ve been an NHL phenom. Went to school, became a doctor and was an international volleyball star. Died at 30.
Pick your passion.
NTA. I never required my kids to have jobs. School was their job. But they all got jobs, at least during the summer. As long as they kept their grades up, it was up to them. They also kept their money. I’m wondering if your parents plan on taking yours?
NTA. You may want to consider asking your mom – on her own – what the concern is. It sounds like your father might be more difficult to deal with. Depending on how it goes with your mom, either talk to them together or first go talk with another trusted adult who you trust not to relay the conversation back to your parents. In fact, if you’re enrolled at a college see if you can talk to someone at their campus counseling center (high school counselors are notorious for breaking confidentiality). In fact, I think going to a counselor regardless is a good idea. You have a lot on your plate, and your parents are only adding to it.
I also recommend talking with your parents about what the plan is for you financially after you graduate from high school. Start with can they help you pay for college. Depending on how that conversation goes, you may want to consider cutting one activity out of your busy calendar and get a job so you can start saving money. Also look for a job for the summer. Open a bank account that only you have access to. I did a quick search and it looks like Bank of America will let you open an account by yourself at the age of 16.
Take care of yourself.
You are not entitled. NAH. They are. However, their house, their rules. Get a job one day a week for 4hrs a week max just to fulfill the minimum of what they want you to do. And prepare to get kicked out of the house once you turn 18.
Entitled. No. Privileged, absolutely. When I was in high school if I didn’t work I wouldn’t have been able to walk at graduation. I paid for field trips, school fees, driver’s Ed, insurance, and had to buy my cap and gown too and this was because I had to. My family couldn’t afford it.
I couldn’t do these things because I had to work.
NTA. Absolutely not. Your job at your age is school (and in your case, sports). No proper parents would say otherwise. School is literally your job.
Once you graduate high school, that is a totally different story.
But they have no right to scream or yell at you for doing your job.
Participation in sports is on your time your free time that you choose to use it that way
Just get a job already
NTA!
with that schedule plus a job you’ll be burnt out in no time. if YOU really think u want a job (not ur parents) then you’re gonna have to drop some sports.
You’re a minor. You are entitled to have two parents take care of you until you are an adult.
My parent made me get a job at 15 because their very expensive – and at the time, secret – drug habit did not afford me lunch money, extracurricular fees, college applications, and oftentimes running water, electricity, or pest control. Oh, and they often needed me to spot them for cigs, booze, and “gasoline”.
When do they expect you to do your homework? School all day and afterschool sports until 7 p.m. is A LOT, even without homework. How are you supposed to keep your grades up?
NTA. When are you even supposed to work at 16 if you’re basically packed til 7pm? I don’t think anyone would hire someone with so little time on their hands.
You’re NTA and not entitled. I’ve seen similar things posted on here a bunch over the years. Your parents are being abusive.
What you should be doing in your situation is setting yourself up for when you need to move away from your family for your personal health.
So, get a job. Not one that has a lot of hours. Maybe one day on the weekend.
Then put every cent you earn from that job into a term deposit account that only you have the authority to access but cannot access until you’re 21yo. The reason for this is because a lot of parents who are pushing for their kids to work, are doing so because they want the extra income that it would provide and the kid ends up being financially abused.
At the same time, you should be working to get your independence from your parents. Drop one of your sports if you can, and pick up a community run class on adulting. Something that has taxes, bills, home care, and general life skills as topics.
Work to get yourself a scholarship for university, try for something that pays for the housing as well.
That way, when you finally need to move out, you’re not left scrambling.
I think you are fine. The point of a job is to teach you discipline. Your coach probably teaches you that.
At 16 I worked two jobs, did most household duties, was in school, and still managed to hang out with friends. It IS possible though it can be stressful and tiring. Not comparing my situation to yours though, just saying it can be done.
You are a child. That is your job. Your parents chose to have a child, and they are responsible for providing for you until you are able to do so for yourself. NTA
NTA, but Target won’t hire you for just weekends so I’d humor them and apply!
Working will keep you away from them. Maybe work friends will want to hang out You are not entitled
NTA getting a job, probably in retail, while you are still at school is a huge mistake that will affect your studies and almost guarantee you will be stuck in low paying jobs for the rest of your life.
I have two kids, and I told them I don’t want them to even think about getting a job until the graduate. Their job is being a full-time student.
There is a reason many jobs are 18+
NAH – I understand a majority here are saying NTA, but there is very little context surrounding your family’s financial situation and your personal spending habits. More or less, “why” are they pushing you to work while you have such a busy schedule?
If your family is well off and your schedule is already packed because of their influence. Then I don’t think it’s reasonable for them to ask this of you.
If your family is less than well off, or if you’re constantly asking them to buy you things, then it’s reasonable that they ask you to get a job. This would have to come at the cost of your extra-curriculars (sports).
I think there needs to be a discussion surrounding what the expected outcome is. If they want you to slow down on sports to make money or if their goal is for you to completely sacrifice your mental health to keep them happy.
With your current schedule, working does not fit. Something needs to change. Your parents need to understand this.
Your job is student. When they go to school full time and also work, they can complain that you’re not working.