16 y/o F here. Yesterday my mom texts me saying some random teenage boys are at our door and she didn’t answer the door, leading to us not knowing who these boys were at the time. Later, these same boys show up at my job, it was 8:00 so it was dark and they were in the parking lot walking around in the dark.. Creepy… My manager leaves the building and the boys asked for me and where I was. When I had found out about the boys from my other manager I started sobbing. I was terrified I thought someone random was after me. Work sent me home early after the whole scene and people at my work were scared and concerned too, so I was just walked to my mom’s car. I remembered this kid I hadn’t talked to in years texted me on a random number and asked me about my job. Figured out it was him and some other kid AFTER THE FACT THE POLICE WERE CALLED (i did not ask for them to be called my mom did) I was hysterical, it was 10pm I hadn’t eaten anything but goldfish that day. The officwrs were asking me why I was so emotional , My mom was telling me I was being dramatic and that these boys just had a “crush on me” It was a whole situation that didn’t need to happen and completely messed up my entire day. I was humiliated in front of my managers. I feel so stupid and ashamed for reacting in such an intense way, especially at work. Do you think my managers will be frustrated with me next time I go into work..? Did I do anything wrong?
Comments
^^^^AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! READ THIS COMMENT – DO NOT SKIM. This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything.
16 y/o F here. Yesterday my mom texts me saying some random teenage boys are at our door and she didn’t answer the door, leading to us not knowing who these boys were at the time. Later, these same boys show up at my job, it was 8:00 so it was dark and they were in the parking lot walking around in the dark.. Creepy… My manager leaves the building and the boys asked for me and where I was. When I had found out about the boys from my other manager I started sobbing. I was terrified I thought someone random was after me. Work sent me home early after the whole scene and people at my work were scared and concerned too, so I was just walked to my mom’s car. I remembered this kid I hadn’t talked to in years texted me on a random number and asked me about my job. Figured out it was him and some other kid AFTER THE FACT THE POLICE WERE CALLED (i did not ask for them to be called my mom did) I was hysterical, it was 10pm I hadn’t eaten anything but goldfish that day. The officwrs were asking me why I was so emotional , My mom was telling me I was being dramatic and that these boys just had a “crush on me” It was a whole situation that didn’t need to happen and completely messed up my entire day. I was humiliated in front of my managers. I feel so stupid and ashamed for reacting in such an intense way, especially at work. Do you think my managers will be frustrated with me next time I go into work..? Did I do anything wrong?
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I think I am the asshole for reacting in such an intense way towards the police and at work. I feel like I am the asshole because i completely dismantled everyones day and blew the entire thing out of proportion.
Help keep the sub engaging!
Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ
Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Guys need to learn more about how women and girls feel and why so they don’t act ignorantly like this. I’m sorry people questioned your reactions. NTA
NTA. Boys with “crushes” don’t group up to tell you their feelings. Protect yourself.
NTA.
Obviously the boys are the AH here. It is possible that one of them remembered your address or saw you at work and they just wanted to confirm it was you. But it’s very creepy anyway.
Your mom called the police, but ALSO it was your mom who said you were “being dramatic?” That doesn’t make sense. I guess she called the police before she found out these were old classmates of yours? Having a crush is the first step in stalking. Every bad person out there had elementary school classmates, so that’s not a reason to say you were being dramatic.
As for work, your bosses won’t be mad at you. It is good and proper that they took it seriously, and no one thinks it’s your fault if you have a stalker.
No you did not do anything wrong.
You didn’t do anything wrong, that kid was way out of line. Showing up uninvited to your house and job is creepy no matter the excuse. If anything, your managers probably see you as someone who got put in a messed up situation, not the problem.
NTA
NTA. If something makes you that uncomfortable, there’s probably a reason. I’ve had a stalker show up at work before. People showing up uninvited to both your home and work is unsettling. I’m sure your managers understand that and it doesn’t reflect badly on you.
NTA
Maybe this was all harmless, but it’s fundamentally creepy to just randomly show up at someone’s house and job.
I find it odd your mom doesn’t “get it”. Most guys don’t think twice about walking out in a parking lot alone, but women have to think about that. So to downplay a 16yo’s fear seems horribly insensitive.
NTA
Do not feel stupid or ashamed
You were being stalked
Just because the adults in your life are not taking this seriously doesn’t mean it wasn’t serious
Jfc you are NTA, in fact you’re the only non asshole here! Those boys acted in a very creepy and inappropriate way, and the way the adults acted is concerning and exactly why boys like this think it’s okay to be intense and overly forward toward girls!! They shouldn’t be showing up at your house or job at all. You reacted with fear which is completely appropriate when someone is essentially stalking you. Whether someone “has a crush on you” or not doesn’t give them permission to make you uncomfortable. I’m so sorry this happened to you.
No, their actions were scary and creepy.
They are literally stalking you. No, you’re not overreacting. Just randomly showing up to your house and job without an invitation is creepy as hell, and the fact that he texted you, that he had your number (even if you gave it out years ago), is still WTH behavior. The adults are underreacting.
Your managers will understand that some situations are better safe than sorry. NTA.
Sure sounds like stalking to me. Yeah, it may have been innocent and just wanting to get to know you, but the boy(s) need to learn the right way of doing this. NTA.
NTA
If it was really nothing to worry about why did your mom not answer the door to talk to the boys?
NTA
Sounds like this boy wanted to try to meet you again and ask you out on a date.
You didn’t do anything wrong by being anxious. He probably should have just spoken with your mom and maybe left you a note. But, You can imagine that he was a fair amount embarrassed by the whole thing as well.
You are not wrong to be anxious and even afraid, there are realities of bad people in the world so you need to protect yourself.
NTA. Your mom & those officers are. That is creepy behavior. Please do not let your mother ever make you think that this is a green flag. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
NTA, but your mom is totally being an AH here.
She set this whole thing in motion by being too scared to open the door or ask them what they wanted. Then, called you at work, got you stressed for her safety because you weren’t there, and caused you to freak out when they showed up asking for you.