So I’ve noticed my roommate has been taking anything that I have in the living room. Whether it’s cups, jacket, mail, even plants of mine and stuffing it all in my room every day. Every day it’s something new.
For the most part we both do our diligence cleaning up and stuff. But sometimes things on both of our ends get left out.
The thing is she has jackets, makeup, crafts, her laptop all spread out all over the living room yet I’m not passive aggressively putting her stuff in her room.
Am I the asshole for being angry by this?
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So I’ve noticed my roommate has been taking anything that I have in the living room. Whether it’s cups, jacket, mail, even plants of mine and stuffing it all in my room every day. Every day it’s something new.
For the most part we both do our diligence cleaning up and stuff. But sometimes things on both of our ends get left out.
The thing is she has jackets, makeup, crafts, her laptop all spread out all over the living room yet I’m not passive aggressively putting her stuff in her room.
Am I the asshole for being angry by this?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) I feel I am being unnecessarily angry at my roommate 2) I feel like the asshole for getting mad and doing a passive aggressive thing back
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Your roommate isn’t “cleaning,” she’s being passive aggressive and targeting only your stuff while leaving hers scattered around. That’s not fair and it’s not how shared spaces work. Either the rule is both of you keep the common area clear or both of you accept that a few things will be left out sometimes.
NTA- She wants to act like she’s living alone.
Sit down and talk about this with her.
You’re not the asshole for being upset. It sounds like your roommate is treating your things differently than hers and that double standard would annoy anyone. I think it’s worth having a calm talk about boundaries and how you both want to share the space.
NTA. It is reasonable to be frustrated when your roommate repeatedly moves your things while leaving her own stuff out. You are not overreacting your belongings and personal space deserve respect.
It might help to have a calm conversation explaining how it makes you feel and setting some boundaries about shared spaces.
But definitely have a conversation about it without any attitude—not that I’m saying you would. I don’t know if you are stuck with this roommate for a while, but establishing good communication might help your situation from becoming a hellscape. Maybe look for videos for couples on conversation and discussing problems without fighting.
Edit to add—NTA
You have a couple of choices. You can do to her what she’s doing to you and ramp up the fight, you can do nothing and fume, or you can sit her down and say clearly what you want to have happen here.
Sharing a space requires consideration and cooperation. If you haven’t got that with her, you need to establish some or prepare to move out. Life is too short to waste on fools.
NTA for being angry about the situation.
it depends upon if you’ve had a discussion with her about this. if you haven’t you are. if you have and she has ignored you, you are not
NTA for being mad. Have you brought this up to her? I recommend it
Tell her that you will do the same to her belongings if she doesn’t calm down.
NTA