My wife has amassed $250,000 in school loan debt in pursuit of her career in the field of social work. I have supported her in her endeavors financially and emotionally over the last 20 years. She completed her master’s and got licensed about two years ago.
She refuses to go to work in the field she’s chosen and has made ZERO efforts to pay off the loans. In fact, my wife has secretly created another $20K in debt with payday loans and other high interest loans because she cannot qualify for conventional or personal loans through any banking institution. Her credit has been ruined.
Ruined so bad, that I recently had to purchase a home by myself for our family. She promised to pay these loans off by working in her field but she seems to wince at the thought of any real responsibility. In lieu of not working, I thought maybe she would keep the home. Nope. I work a full time job and I am routinely coming home to no meal cooked, an unkept home, and her hygiene is dramatically suffering.
Her hygiene has always been a battle. I’m not sure what’s up, but recently she sliced my penis during a lazy attempt at fellatio. It required liquid stitches. To boot, she blamed me for the slice because I should have purchased her new teeth.
My wife is in her early 40’s and I have reached my wit’s end. I filed for divorce and I am being depicted as the bad guy. I should mention that in the time it took her to complete her degree, I continued to work, paid off $75K of her father’s estate to secure land which was seized (14 acres). I also started a fully functioning farm through the USDA and obtained an ag exemption.
I don’t know if my wife is suffering from depression but she sure is being a nasty little cuss and has been for a few years now. There’s been comparisons to other men and I have caught her taking my boys around men she is attempting to “seek comfort from”. IDK. AITA for filing for divorce.
I told her I am willing to continue down this path of marriage if she commits to getting professional counseling. We have been to marriage counseling on three separate occasions and each time the counselors have said she is mistreating me. We are about ten days from closing and I don’t really want to move forward with her but I know the damage this will do to my family.
Am i being selfish? I should also note that I have Crohn’s disease. It a very challenging endeavor for me to engage in full time work for one job let alone run a farm as well. My wife expects me to pay her student loan debt, the farm bills, and the bills on the house I just bought by myself.
I am trying to be very patient but I am at my wit’s end. AITA – I haven’t been a perfect husband but it really seems like I am playing the game from a different rule card – one where I take her crap and do nothing in response.