I (28F), run my own business as a seamstress selling clothes I’ve made as well as doing alterations. I’ve been open for two years, and I do a steady business and my primary income from my business is the alterations I do. I have a sister (29F), who we’ll call Lana. Lana is currently a recovering alcoholic and I’m trying my best to support her. Due to DUIs, she has been struggling to find a job and her mental health isn’t helping her keep any job she finds. I feel really bad for her and while we were visiting my parents on Monday, I made the offer she could work for me. When I made the offer, I said that she could work inventory and register like a normal employee. She seemed pretty on board but said she would have to think about it since she didn’t want to leech off me. Our parents were also really on board and encouraging and thought this would be a great opportunity for both of us. Wednesday, my mom called me and asked if the building would now be in both Lana and I’s names. I asked her what she meant and she said since Lana is co-owner her name should be on the lease. I told her it wouldn’t, because she wouldn’t be co-owner. I made it clear to my mother that Lana would be like any other employee, the reason I wanted her to work with me is so if she relapsed, she wouldn’t risk losing her job again since I know what’s she’s going through. Mom beat around the bush trying to convince me to make Lana co-owner and I repeatedly told her no, not only for Lana’s sake but also the sake of my business. I don’t think Lana would be a bad co-owner, but at this time, she’s still fairly unstable and I don’t want her to get stressed and fully break her sobriety. I made this clear to my mother in our phone call before she eventually gave up. I thought that was the end of it, and few hours Lana called to ask if I hired her what she would be doing, I told her the same thing I said at dinner that she would mostly be doing inventory, register, etc. She asked if she would help with any of the clothes and I told her when she learned to sew I would consider it. She accepted and seemed excited with the arrangement since both of us have always loved fashion and we agreed I would host an interview with her at the end of next week on my day off. My dad called me yesterday scolding me about the position I was putting Lana in and was telling me a meaner version of what my mother was saying and continuously trying to hound me to give Lana a higher position. I was getting really frustrated and I told him that if he and mom wouldn’t stop pushing, I just wouldn’t hire Lana at all. My dad called me a terrible sister before hanging up. I called Lana and told her what happened and my words about not hiring her, she got upset with me and I apologized and told her I still wanted her to work with me, I just didn’t want to drama with mom and dad. She understood but is still upset with me I would even say that even in the heat of the moment. AITA?
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I (28F), run my own business as a seamstress selling clothes I’ve made as well as doing alterations. I’ve been open for two years, and I do a steady business and my primary income from my business is the alterations I do. I have a sister (29F), who we’ll call Lana. Lana is currently a recovering alcoholic and I’m trying my best to support her. Due to DUIs, she has been struggling to find a job and her mental health isn’t helping her keep any job she finds. I feel really bad for her and while we were visiting my parents on Monday, I made the offer she could work for me. When I made the offer, I said that she could work inventory and register like a normal employee. She seemed pretty on board but said she would have to think about it since she didn’t want to leech off me. Our parents were also really on board and encouraging and thought this would be a great opportunity for both of us. Wednesday, my mom called me and asked if the building would now be in both Lana and I’s names. I asked her what she meant and she said since Lana is co-owner her name should be on the lease. I told her it wouldn’t, because she wouldn’t be co-owner. I made it clear to my mother that Lana would be like any other employee, the reason I wanted her to work with me is so if she relapsed, she wouldn’t risk losing her job again since I know what’s she’s going through. Mom beat around the bush trying to convince me to make Lana co-owner and I repeatedly told her no, not only for Lana’s sake but also the sake of my business. I don’t think Lana would be a bad co-owner, but at this time, she’s still fairly unstable and I don’t want her to get stressed and fully break her sobriety. I made this clear to my mother in our phone call before she eventually gave up. I thought that was the end of it, and few hours Lana called to ask if I hired her what she would be doing, I told her the same thing I said at dinner that she would mostly be doing inventory, register, etc. She asked if she would help with any of the clothes and I told her when she learned to sew I would consider it. She accepted and seemed excited with the arrangement since both of us have always loved fashion and we agreed I would host an interview with her at the end of next week on my day off. My dad called me yesterday scolding me about the position I was putting Lana in and was telling me a meaner version of what my mother was saying and continuously trying to hound me to give Lana a higher position. I was getting really frustrated and I told him that if he and mom wouldn’t stop pushing, I just wouldn’t hire Lana at all. My dad called me a terrible sister before hanging up. I called Lana and told her what happened and my words about not hiring her, she got upset with me and I apologized and told her I still wanted her to work with me, I just didn’t want to drama with mom and dad. She understood but is still upset with me I would even say that even in the heat of the moment. AITA?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> it’s more at the end of my post, but it’s basically my family being upset about my threat not to hire my sister
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA
you need to start hanging up on your parents if they bring up your sister working for you. “That is between me and Lana, and i will not be discussing it with you”
NTA. But I honestly don’t think this is going to end well.
NTA but you probably didn’t need to relay the entire conversation with your parents to your sister. You were both happy with the arrangement so your parents can butt out. Stick to your original plan and stop trying to justify yourself to your entitled parents.
Your parents have put you in an impossible position. I dont suppose they were offering to buy out half of the business to give to your sister?
Look at it this way, not as if your sister was a stranger applying for a job. Granted a lot of this wouldn’t be on an application but… would you hire someone with multiple DUI’s, mental health issues, and an alcoholic? I’m assuming the answer would be no, no, and no… NTA.
You seem to have turned out very well for having two completely delusional parents. Kudos!
NTA. Ask your dad if he would give away half his business to a drunk sibling who has no experience – because that is what your mother is demanding.