AITA that I told my mom I’m not ready to call her boyfriend my Step-dad if they get married.

Hi, first off I would like to say that I’m only asking for insight and I don’t want to hear anything negative about my family. This is because of past experiences with reddit.

Disclaimer these are all fake names for the people in this post.

Okay, me (15f) and my mom(42f) basically only had eachother for my entire life. Except for my grandparents and uncles. But, I’ve never really had my dad in my life. My father figures were my Grampa and Papa(step grandad).

Anyway. My mom has been dating her boyfriend John (42 m) for about three years. John and her were highschool sweethearts but broke up when she left for college in her sophomore year.

I like John, he is a pretty good guy and he always takes into account my feelings and how I feel about things. Just so you guys know that he doesn’t hurt us in anyway.

John has two daughters P(13) and O(10). They are both good kids and we get along okay ish. The only downside is that they always want to annoy me. I’ll be talking about something I don’t like that a kid said at school. And then the next day they will use it against me. Anyway that’s beside the point that’s just a little bit of background information.

Anyway, my mom sat me down last night and asked me if I was okay with her and John getting married. If he proposes. I said I was okay with it, but I was worried about how the girls felt. She told me they weren’t asked that question, but when the time was right they will ask them. I said okay, that’s fine.

The next question that she asked me was if I was okay with John adopting me/ me calling him my step dad. I said I wasn’t comfortable with that due to past experiences.

A little background information. My mom was in a mentally abusive relationship with a guy we’ll call Little Fucker. They were together for six years and honestly those six years were hell. He did things that weren’t okay like throwing things and saying we were all worthless. Please do not worry he is in prison now because of tax fraud. Anyway my dad was in the military and during covid he passed away do to some health problems. This was really hard on me even though I didn’t know him that well. Little Fucker used this to mentally manipulate me and made me feel worthless.

One day he told me he wanted to adopt me and we both cried. A few minutes later he started yelling and screaming at me about not washing a cast iron. The only eeason I didn’t wash the cast iron was because he TOLD ME NOT TO. He then started saying things like “you never deserved a father”.

This incident was why I told my mom I didn’t feel comfortable with John doing that. She then got upset and started saying things like “but he cares so much about you” and “all that stuff is in the past”. I got upset and told her I care about him too but I still have the right to not want to get adopted. She then called me a brat and left.

I don’t know if I’m the asshole or not. So AITA that I told my mom I didn’t want to call her boyfriend my Step-dad if they got married?