AITA for being upset with my parents for not taking me to the emergency room sooner?
So, a few days ago, I had a huge fight with my parents that’s really been eating at me, and I’m wondering if I’m the asshole.
A little context: I (20 F) started feeling really sick one evening. I had a terrible headache, nausea, and my vision was really blurry vision. It felt like something was seriously wrong, but my parents kept telling me I was “exaggerating” and that I should just rest. They told me it was probably nothing and that I was just being dramatic. They even went so far as to say it was just so I would miss work and school and it was probably just a headache and I was overreacting.
After a couple of hours of feeling worse and worse, I kept telling them I needed to go to the emergency room, but they refused to take me. They kept insisting I was fine and it was probably just stress . I eventually started to panic because I felt like something really wasn’t right, but they just brushed me off and told me I was dramatic for making such a big deal .
Fast forward to that Saturday turns out I had a brain aneurysm. My dad ended up taking me to the er after finding me unconscious, I survived, but it was a scary close call. The doctors said I was lucky to have made it there in time. The whole experience has been traumatic, and I can’t stop thinking about how they dismissed me when I was so scared.
Now, here’s where the conflict really comes in. When I tried to talk to my parents about how upset I was that they didn’t believe me and almost let me die because of their dismissiveness, they got angry with me. They told me I was being ungrateful for “blaming them” after everything they did for me. They said I was “looking for someone to blame” instead of just being thankful that I’m alive. Now, they’re saying I’m selfish and that I shouldn’t make them feel guilty for something they couldn’t have known.
I’m really hurt by how they reacted. I don’t feel like I’m overreacting, I was in a life-threatening situation, and they didn’t take me seriously. But I also don’t want to make things worse between us.
So, AITA for being upset with my parents?
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AITA for being upset with my parents for not taking me to the emergency room sooner?
So, a few days ago, I had a huge fight with my parents that’s really been eating at me, and I’m wondering if I’m the asshole.
A little context: I (20 F) started feeling really sick one evening. I had a terrible headache, nausea, and my vision was really blurry vision. It felt like something was seriously wrong, but my parents kept telling me I was “exaggerating” and that I should just rest. They told me it was probably nothing and that I was just being dramatic. They even went so far as to say it was just so I would miss work and school and it was probably just a headache and I was overreacting.
After a couple of hours of feeling worse and worse, I kept telling them I needed to go to the emergency room, but they refused to take me. They kept insisting I was fine and it was probably just stress . I eventually started to panic because I felt like something really wasn’t right, but they just brushed me off and told me I was dramatic for making such a big deal .
Fast forward to that Saturday turns out I had a brain aneurysm. My dad ended up taking me to the er after finding me unconscious, I survived, but it was a scary close call. The doctors said I was lucky to have made it there in time. The whole experience has been traumatic, and I can’t stop thinking about how they dismissed me when I was so scared.
Now, here’s where the conflict really comes in. When I tried to talk to my parents about how upset I was that they didn’t believe me and almost let me die because of their dismissiveness, they got angry with me. They told me I was being ungrateful for “blaming them” after everything they did for me. They said I was “looking for someone to blame” instead of just being thankful that I’m alive. Now, they’re saying I’m selfish and that I shouldn’t make them feel guilty for something they couldn’t have known.
I’m really hurt by how they reacted. I don’t feel like I’m overreacting, I was in a life-threatening situation, and they didn’t take me seriously. But I also don’t want to make things worse between us.
So, AITA for being upset with my parents?
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> I didn’t really do anything much but our relationship is really weird
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Why didn’t you call an ambulance if you thought your parents were being dismissive of your concern? You’re an adult, sometimes you need to make the call and let the chips fall where they may.
NTA at all. You need to use this situation to realize that you can not count on them. There are two things that you need to do.
1: Move out ASAP.
2: If you need to get to the hospital, get someone else to take you. Don’t even ask your parents.
NTA. They almost killed you. When you were clearly telling them that you needed to go to the ER. Of course you’re angry at them. And you have learned that they are not trustworthy in that kind of situation. So next time there’s an emergency, I hope there is someone else you can ask for help.
NTA. Absolutely not. “everything they did for you” literally is just taking you to the ER because /they found you unconscious/. That is bare minimum behavior.
It sounds like they don’t want to be held accountable for their neglect. They bullied you for days, minimizing your symptoms and neglecting your needs. Your parents are the assholes here, far and away.
You’re NTA
>They told me I was being ungrateful for “blaming them” after everything they did for me.
You’re not alone. I blame them too. Their dismissive idiocy nearly cost you your life.
Nope. Not @ all.
NTA. But you’re 20 years old you’re an adult. You could have called a friend to take you or an ambulance. I understand in some countries an ambulance is expensive but if you really felt your life was at risk you should have called an ambulance.
NTA. And quite honestly, your parents can go screw themselves seven ways to Sunday. That said, I’m sorry you had to go through that, OP.
NTA. Their medical neglect almost killed you. Talk to your doctor about the things they are saying to you and how they are blaming you for their medical neglect. You almost died. This behavior from your parents is mentally and emotionally very abusive and I’m concerned for your home life.
NTA. You need new parents.
Do you have any friends? Siblings? Other family
Members? Ambulance? Uber? Taxi?
NTA but you need to advocate for yourself- next time call 911 -You are 20 years old not 6 why would you need to fake being sick to get out of work and school- all you have to do is call in sick- your parents are gaslighting you. Glad you are ok.
MTA they dont want to take accountability and are trying to spin it onto you despite the fact you had asked multiple times to be taken to the hospital, they are absolutely at fault, next time call and ambulance sooner.
NTA. Wow. Do you have a way of moving out, maybe get a roommate? If this happens again you might not be so lucky if you continue to live with your parents.
You know how 911 works right?
NTA. Jesus fucking Christ I don’t see how any parent can behave this way, but its sadly common. You’re not alone, they sound like terrible people. r/raisedbynarcissists
Edit: Also, don’t wait for them to approve next time you need help. Call 911, you are an adult and if you think you need to go to the ER, you fuckin go, don’t ask permission, don’t wait around. Do it as soon as you think you need to. Chances are you are right and even if you’re not, its not worth the risk.
NTA at all you literally had a brain aneurysm and very well could have died. That’s a big deal. You know who is TA? Your folks. Not because they didn’t believe you. Like I full on understand that as a parent, but for not accepting and acknowledging they made a mistake. You’re not ungrateful, that’s such a cop out. It’s best when people can just say “I’m sorry I didn’t believe you. I am so happy you are alive and with us still. In the future I will listen to you when you say you have blurry vision, nausea, and a bad headache and I promise I will take you to the hospital” Idk why people have such a hard time with that, mistakes happen.
NTA. They were negligent and reckless and that could have killed you.
NTA, they dismissed a brain aneurysm and called you dramatic.
NTA – sounds like they’re guilt ridden as they should be. You need a new place to live and I hope you find something soon.
Get closer with your other family that aren’t malignant narcissists NTA
ESH. You’re an adult, learn to do things for yourself, like call 911 if you’re feeling that bad, or drive yourself to an ER if you’re able. Your parents are in the wrong, but you need to grow up some.
Your parents are assholes. If you were my kid I’d be so apologetic to you and so grateful you were ok. I’d feel like the worst mom ever.
FWIW, I am glad you’re ok.
NTA-
More like they are ungrateful.
Imagine if they didn’t find you in time.
ESH your parents should have listened and believed you.
You are an adult and you need to take responsibility for your own health and call a friend, a cab or an ambulance if you need to go to emerg.
nta but,
Do you have a history of over-reacting to physical discomfort?
My sister would always go to the hospital for everything. Every year we got the stomach flu we would all stay home and puke & poop. Not my sister she would insist on going to the hospital and have the whole treatment, Boogers, she wanted a breathing treatment. You get my point. She insisted her pain was worst.
Not to minimize your ultimate diagnosis but since you are 20 the hospital probably would have wrote it off as a migraine/stress and sent you home. Unless you were neurologically impaired on exam. When you came back unconscious then they would have found your aneurysm.