I’m apparently too much of a pushover when it comes to who pays for what and now I’m second guessing everything like I sometimes offer to pay first but I’ve got friends who are absolutely ruthless about paying. Like they will physically wrestle my wallet away from me like last week me and my friend Alex grab burgers and I reach for my wallet but dude literally blocks me and hands his card over and there’s zero room for argument. This happens all the time and I always just cave like not because I’m trying to be cheap or anything but because they get so aggressive about it that I just give up. Sometimes I’m honestly relieved because everything’s getting expensive as hell these days but then I feel guilty for feeling relieved. Now I’m paranoid they think I’m doing some reverse psychology shit where I offer knowing they’ll jump in. But that’s literally backwards like I genuinely want to pay for all of us I’m just terrible at being stubborn about it.
My girlfriend says I need to grow a backbone about this stuff but like is it really that deep cause they’re adults at the end of day? AITAH for being too agreeable when my friends insist to pay?
AITAH for always backing down when friends insist on paying for stuff?
r/AITAH
Comments
NTAH. Honestly if they wanna pay, let them. Youve tried, keep trying, just say “Ill pay” and if they refuse, give up at the first rejection. Youve done all you can, dont let yourself feel bad or whatever because they just wont let you. Or if you feel so strongly about WANTING to pay, just sit them down and hash it out before the bill turns up, explain, if theyre any good friends theyll listen and understand.
NTA. You get to be a One I-got-it person – and you can tell your friends that’s your deal. They can either let you get it now and then or they can pay. If they are insisting, you’re good.
NTA. As the broke artist in my group I deal with this too. I make a point to occasionally pay the check by sneaking my card to someone before the bill arrives. I do get treated most of the time, but I am also paranoid they will eventually feel taken advantage of.
You’re overthinking this. If your friends insist on paying, let them.
I’m not going to have a fight with someone about paying. If I gesture to get my wallet and they make a spectacle, I back down. It’s awkward when people go back and forth several times about it
I have a rule where I say no once if I’m trying to be polite, but if they insist, I accept.
It’s not hard to do the trick where you (or your girlfriend) get up to use the restroom, then pay before you come back, or at least track down your server if you’re ok with leaving them your card for payment.
If it’s pay at the table, grab your friend’s card out of the way and immediately swipe yours.