I recently matched with a guy locally and we had a few really good conversations that didn’t revolve around sex. One or two did and I have no shame answering his questions or communicating what I want/like in bed. I’m a female. I don’t see anything wrong with being honest and upfront. Anyway. He proceeded to tell me that he is very selective with physical appearance and he wasn’t attracted to me but if I could describe what I’d do to him in bed maybe he would give me a chance since I was so close to where he lived. I said absolutely not and that is gross behavior. He said I’m giving you a chance to paint a picture to see if it’s worth it. WHAT.
I promptly asked him if he would want someone speaking to his daughter this way. He then told me that he is very respectful of women and that I brought this on myself by discussing the things I liked in the bedroom. He told me not to contact him again all in the same message.
Comments
NTA. He’s a disgusting pig.
NTAH but WOW!!! He for sure is! Good riddance girl
Dudes will cry rage bait like they dont know anyone who has treated someone this exact way.
Esh. You want to talk about sex with him but once he starts you have to talk about his kid?
Men aren’t lonely ENOUGH.
NTA.
NTA – dude needs a reality check.
NTA
The bar is set in Hell, and he still didn’t reach it.
He sure is full of himself talking like he has that much choice in the dating pool.
NTA. Dude is a gross jerk.
“I am respectful to women but I’ll treat them like objects.”
Reddit won’t let me say what I’d like to about men like him.
So he’s not attracted to you but willing to give you a chance… this AH thinks he’s God’s gift to women and we are all wanting to sleep with him – you should be so lucky he would give a “chance”. Offended you didn’t care about being given a chance by him and the audacity to tell you not to contact him again – like you’d actually want to.
What the actual fuck. Don’t waste anymore time and energy on him thinking whether or not you’re the AH. You NTA. He’s disgusting.
NTA. Another guy who wants you to audition for the Post. Unless you’re an extremely desperate woman no one in the right mind would ever do this.
NTA. In my experience, if someone has to tell you they’re anything (patient, humble, open minded, respectful, chill, etc.), they’re usually not. What’s the phrase, “people will show you who they are”? I’d bet money that he reacted that way because he felt all hot and bothered but lacked the emotional intelligence to understand that it was because he’s wrong, so he did what most people do and pinned all those feelings on the fault of the other person.
Girl play the lotto cause you dodged a huge bullet.. No worries there. He tried to play in your face and really thought you would just hand him the toys.. bye sir.
NTA. Dude is gross and needs to know.
NTA – I’m not sure why he tried to blame you for him saying that to you. Just because you answered a couple of questions about sex doesn’t mean that you want him to treat you like an object. I’m always so thankful when they openly fly their flags like this so I don’t waste my time lol
NTA he is disgusting
sounds like he was brutally honest
LMAO you responded so well, good for you girl.
You made him realize he was being a creep, he felt bad, then lashed out at you before running away in embarrassment.
He is egotistical and an asshole, but you handled him perfectly.
Well done.
Nta
NTA. Talking about things is not the same as what he did. He said you aren’t his type but if you convince me you’re good in bed I might bang
You. Good riddance and thankfully the trash took itself out
OP you know you are clearly in the right.
Half the posts on this sub are just people posting incidents in their lives for the validation.
Wat the fuck lmaoooo why match if he wasnt attracted to u?? He’s sounds like a loser.
This didn’t need a reddit post. Dude is a creep.
AACKK 😱😱😱
You are absolutely not an asshole. You’re asking a reasonable, humanizing question that draws a line while holding someone accountable. Your question is about inviting perspective. I give him credit for being honest by simply stating his needs and wants. Nothing wrong with that, but by him trying to convince someone to be attracted to, by means of describing what I’d do in bed. That’s not how respect or chemistry works. That’s a giant red flag wrapped in fake honesty and tied with a manipulative bow. This guy’s framing isn’t honesty. It’s a power play disguised as openness. You don’t owe anyone a sexual pitch for a “chance” at their attention. His arrogance in thinking “convince me you’re f*ckable, and I might let you have a shot.” is predatorial.. He’s using rejection as bait. This behavior mirrors classic grooming tactics, where the goal is to push boundaries and make someone feel like they have to earn what should be mutual. It’s not just arrogance it’s entitlement. It turns your body and sexuality into a test, not a choice and that’s deeply disrespectful, dehumanizing, and dangerously close to coercive behavior.
This is an example of why simply being a woman is at times a violent experience. You have dodged a huge bullet.
Ah the trash took itself out…. Well done
NTA. But I wouldn’t be bring up sex specific stuff on a first date. He was brutally honest to admit he wasn’t attracted to you but he’d have sex with you if it sounded good enough to him. Ugh. He is a pig.
NTA. If he would not want it said to his daughter, he should not say it to you.
NTA. It’s OK to want to talk spicy but saying to win him over by doing so even though he isn’t attracted to you is an asshole move. If you like each other and are comfy to talk so, by all means. This isn’t or shouldn’t be a contest. Hope you asked him to fuck all the way off.
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