My best friend/Niece (whom is 5 months older than me, incase of any confusion) came home today and told me about her sexual encounter with her boyfriend that took place outside. She said she was going to tell me whether I liked it or not because I’m the only person she has to talk to about it. After she finished telling me about it, we sat and chilled for about an hour until she said she was tired and was ready to take a nap. So I said “Don’t you want to take a shower?” To which she replied no, its her choice and I said “Whatever.” And dismissed it.
After that I asked “did you use a condom?” To which she responded with “some of the time, kinda, not really” So i said okay with a kind of questioning voice and after about 10 minutes she got up and went into the other room without so much as a word. After about 20 minutes later she comes back to grab something and I tried to show her a video and she rolled her eyes mad hard and scoffed, so I asked her what was wrong and she said she was feeling judged and that she didn’t want to talk to me.
Mind you we are both minors and I was only clarifying bc she has a tendency to not wear protection and has never felt weird about me asking that before. To clarify more; this is not their first time having unprotected sex. I’ve told her several times to use protection. I keep condoms. For. Her. Because I’m abstinent.
I TALKED ABOUT HER NOT SHOWERING IN THE TITLE BC SHE’S NEVER CARED ABOUT ME ASKING ABOUT PROTECTION BEFORE and I thought that maybe this time she was mad at me bc i asked about the shower, THE SHOWER IS NOT IMPORTANT I DONT REALLY CARE ABOUT HER NOT SHOWERING, it is just a personal issue bc we share a bed!
Aitah for asking my closest friend if she wanted to shower after unprotected sex?
r/AITAH
Comments
Your friend/niece is going to end up with an sti or pregnant.
NTA
I hope she is ready to be a mother. She is an idiot and 100% DESERVES to be judged.
NTA, she may be risking pregnancy or an STI. It is okay for you to voice concerns but ultimately her choices are her decision.
I hope your best friend is on birth control, else she might end up pregnant. I don’t see any issue with having sex outside, wherever they do it is their issue I guess. But I don’t see why pointing out you didn’t agree with her not wearing a condom makes you an asshole. Idk how long they have been together and how clean that guy is, but better be safe than sorry. NTA imo
I’m not sure why you’re focusing on the shower. (Grass stains from the outside sex?)
Bathing or showering doesn’t effect the risk of either pregnancy or STI’s.
NTA. I would urge her to get on birth control and tell her that you’ll go with her to planned parenthood or a teen clinic. Tell her that being a teen mom would ruin her life (it would).
when you get older, you realize some people are just stupid. she is one of them, just live your life and find better best friends.
You’re not an asshole, but both of you are dumb.
I get why she might want to shower after sex in general, you get kinda sweaty, even more so for outdoor sex or unprotected sex using the stop and drop method of birth control. But I don’t think a shower is gonna be a good method to prevent STIs or pregnancy.
get her an day after pill
-after that I asked “Well did you use a condom?” To which she responded with “some of the time, kinda, not really-
PLAN B TO THE RESCUE!!!
NTA your niece is a moron, talk to her about going on the pill or using some fucking protection, Kids these days are dummies
Not sure what ages you are, but is it possible she and her bf are actually trying to start a family? It is one thing if she is just being reckless.
I know plenty of people who have sex, then go to bed right after. Showering after sex can be a thing, but is it a necessity? I dont think so. With that said, definitely should be using protection at a young age. Unless she wants to be the pregnant chick in high school.
I had the dirtiest alcoholic cocaine addicted roommate who would be high on xanny every night fucking someone new. Never showered after or even in between if it was 2 in a night. She got more than 1 sti and then asked me to tell her partners. She also was doing it with co workers and got fired
Tell her if she doesn’t like being judged, it may be time to stop acting like an AH. NTA
There is so much wrong with everything there
You’re not an AH, but she probably feels bad about the unprotected sex, and you were picking at a scab.
She knows she’s wrong and she’s ashamed but not ashamed enough to stop having unprotected sex with boys outside. You need a new friend, even if she is family.
She is going to get pregnant. She is dead set on it. There is nothing you can do. A shower isn’t going to stop that.
NTA – you did right . We shall see how it works out .
NTA. If you want her to shower for hygiene since you share a bed, I think that’s a reasonable request.
As far as the unprotected sex aspect of it, showering won’t do anything to prevent pregnancy or STIs.
I think you should text her boyfriend and tell him he needs to go buy some Plan B unless he wants to be a baby daddy, because they’re both being irresponsible about not wearing condoms.
Can you talk to your sister and say how you think that both you and your friend/niece should be on birth control and that there should be Plan B in the house?
Make up some boy you’re interested in if it would help deflect attention from your niece/friend and you’re not trying to rat her out. Your sister is probably not much older than 30, and I’m sure she’s probably drowning with with the responsibility of raising her own kid and her baby sister; she doesn’t need to be a 30 year old grandma.
Are you feeling dirty on her behalf?
Kinda TA
I thought this was about UTI prevention lol. In which case you should suggest she at least pee after sex.
But if this is about you being grossed out because you share a bed then the rule should be no sharing a bed if she smells like sex cause no one needs family cuddling up smelling like that.
Sex has a smell especially when it’s unprotected because vagina ph levels are very sensitive. Just tell her it’s a personal boundary regarding your bed. Otherwise if she wants to be unsafe about her life it’s up to her parents to guide her not you so let it go.
This isn’t judging its personal hygiene that bleeds over into sharing a living space hygiene. Nta OP, she sure as hell needs too learn its common to shower before sex and after unless you are falling asleep in each other’s arms etc. This is gross and I’m a guy, if I had a family member walking around not showering after sex and having unprotected sex I would be worried a little bit aswell not just for stds on their part but pregnancy. This falls under personal accountability.
I don’t understand why you share a bed with her
Tell her she’s going to end up pregnant lol
Friece
whether you liked it or not? the fuck?
NTA, you don’t need her snail trailing around the house, and she’s gonna get a UTI.
There is an awful lot to unpack here
YTA for no paragraphs and spacing as well as a whole bunch of caps lock commando
So some people like to have the aftermath in them to remember what a good time they had 👍
NTA
Look, all other comments aside, I don’t think it’s unreasonable for you to not want to share a bed with someone who may or may not still be leaking juices from another person on the sheets.
This is simple….STOP sleeping in bed with your niece…BECAUSE she’s in bed sleeping with everybody else.
If she’s gross make boundaries.
minors shouldn’t be having unprotected sex. actually, minors shouldn’t be having sex AT ALL, but oh well. hope she doesn’t get pregnant.
Basic hygiene aka showering after sex when you share a bed with someone that’s not the partner you had sex with should be common decency. Going hours without cleaning up properly after having had unprotected sex, outside sounds to me like one would feel pretty gross eventually. I wouldn’t have felt comfy and ready for bed without a shower first, even if I slept alone
It is her choice you are involving yourself too much in her sexlife. You have brought up protection before. You have made your point, she decided not to follow your advice. The discussion should have ended there. Now you are just nagging and being annoying. No matter if it is a good or bad decision on her part it isnt up to you.
Tell your sister to deal with her irresponsible child