So this might sound small, but it’s been bugging me and caused a pretty big argument.
My girlfriend (26F) and I (28M) have been dating for about a year. She’s funny, smart, and overall awesome. But lately, she’s been doing this thing where she talks in an exaggerated baby voice, like “I wuv youuuu” and calling dinner “nummies” kind of stuff. I didn’t mind it in private at first, even though it’s not my thing, but she started doing it around my friends and family.
Last weekend, we had dinner with my parents, and she used that voice the whole time. My dad asked if she was okay, and my mom just looked confused the entire evening. Afterward, I told her (gently) that I felt a little embarrassed and asked if she could tone it down around others.
She got really upset, said I was being mean and not accepting her “quirks,” and now she’s barely talking to me. I didn’t insult her or raise my voice, I just asked if she could keep it private between us. But now I’m wondering if I’m the AH for not just letting her be herself, even if it’s cringey to me.
So, AITAH?
Comments
YTA. Bigtime. Huge.
Peak elder millenial vibes.
NTA. That sort of thing can be funny occasionally, when in private.
And “quirks” is a terrible excuse.
Yta. Be with someone for who they are. Not for who you want them to be.
NTA, that is so cringy! She is way too old to act like that.
NTA
What a truly embarrassing thing to put up with. I could never.
There’s a time and place for that nonsense, and it’s not very often.
ESH. If she hadn’t been doing this from day 1, then it’s odd that she would suddenly start doing that, especially around your family. Equally, you can’t control who she is and it wouldn’t be a healthy relationship if you did, but that doesn’t mean you have to stay with her either. People change and that’s fine.
NTA I couldn’t do it, cringe
IMO (32f) Baby talk is gross. Also, not being able to take feedback (given respectfully) and adjust behavior or at least consider the feedback is a sign of immaturity. Sorry bro, your gf seems like she’s being…pardon me…a big baby. NTA
INFO… Is she actually changing the way her voice sounds or just using baby-like words?
NTA it’s totally fair to ask for a bit of respect around your family. Everyone has quirks, but some things are better kept private to avoid awkwardness. You handled it calmly, so it’s on her to understand your feelings.
Hmm. I’m feeling both ways here. As someone who has my own ‘language’ with my partner – we both say things differently to how they are actually pronounced – we use it when we are together, we don’t tend to use it around others, partially because it’s weird, partially because it’s our own thing, partially because they wouldn’t understand anyway even if we didn’t care. I’d say NTA based on the fact that you spoke to her gently about it and it was pretty sudden and weird for her to act like that in front of family, then again, if this is who she is, I guess you can’t try and stop her being who she is…
Maybe have a discussion again, if it is a deal breaker for her to do this, then let her know that. She will either stop for the benefit of the relationship because it was just a silly little thing to do, or she will not because it’s part of her, the decision after that is what matters. You either accept it and deal with it and don’t say anything about it again, or you leave each other so she can continue being herself and you can find someone who more aligns with your personality 🤷♀️
NTA. You voiced a concern in private, you didn’t make a scene of it and embarrassed her back.
As someone who occasionally ‘baby talks’ (more like baby pronunciation) to my partner in private for fun, I totally agree it’s immature and quite embarrassing to be doing that in any kind of group/public setting. If she’s incapable of acknowledging that in a mature way or have a conversation about it, she’s in the wrong. While we are all our own person, we also reflect on our partners and need to account for that.
This would be the hardest no for me. NTA
She is barely talking to you now? On the positive side, you don’t have to listen to the baby talk. Also, you’re obviously the asshole (in HER eyes), but not the asshole from, probably anyone else’s perspective.
NTA. Yeah you might also be a furry, but I don’t want you wearing that mask to meet my parents. There are levels to intimacy.
Did she just suddenly start that, if so, I would wonder why
My wife does this when she feels safe. To me its endearing but im sure its not for everyone. In public she doesnt do this, just when she wants to be snuggled
If you don’t dump her, you’ll be married to a baby talker. I speak from experience.
My husband’s favorite phrase, “I need to put something in my tummy.” or “My tummy hurts.”
I’ve been fighting it for decades. “Are you three? Trust me. Your merzog is NOT a tummy. It’s a gut.” Lately, when he says it, I just stare at him, saying nothing. Long. Stares. No. Blinking.
hm it could go eother way. my partner & I use an alternative language, I wouldn’t call it baby talk, bc our tones are normal, but we dont use typpical names & words for things, regardless of who is around. we both do this & its never been an issue for us. its quite fun. do I think youre overreacting & being weird? absolutely. but if you dont like that style of communication than thats valid, so nta. maybe yall aren’t compatible in the long run. she should be with someone who doesn’t make her feel badly for being herself. & you should be with someone who talks how you feel is appropriate.
NTA, it is embarrassing, and you didn ‘t scold her in public, you told her privately and ASKED her kindly to behave otherwise.
Also, what’s with all these posts about girls acting like babies and crying their bf don’t accept their sudden changes they call quirks? Ie it another tik tok trend or something?
Don’t get me wrong, I love sweet talk and nick names, but this is something else.
NTA
I gagged just thinking about being subjected to that.
It’s not that big of a deal honestly it doesn’t make you less of a man
Does she have any kids yet? Maybe it’s her biological clock taking over her system. The only way to stop the baby talk is to get her pregnant…….. Wait, nevermind. Then that gives her a legitimate excuse to talk like that.
NTA
NTA, this is not a quirk but somekind of ‘Ohhhh, look at me’ nonsense.
NTA! It seems to me that she’s into age play which is extremely weird! You not being into her kinks doesn’t make you a bad person, you’re just setting boundaries!
NTA that’s weird af lol
Do it to her, loud and condescending in a public space like the grocery store. You wan milk for your Cwaptain Cwunch Bewwie Ceweal??
NTA. That would be a deal breaker for me. It’s not cute
I didn’t even talk that way to my kids when they were little. “Nummies?” NO.
Totally cringe. Both Assholes.
You’re the Asshole, because you’ve been together for a year, so by now you know who and what she is. Expecting her to “magically” change is unrealistic. Based on your description it sounds like this is the first time in a year you actually confronted her on it.
She’s the Asshole, because she’s 28 and still insist on perusing this creepy AF toddler act. I have nightmare visions of you being out to dinner with co-workers and your gf pulls this same act.
I’d say it’s time to ask yourself, “Just how much of a deal breaker is this?”
NTA
start your own cringy thing, talking like a caveman or something
First of all, cringe! Omg!
Secondly, sounds like there was no better – “gentler” way you could’ve brought up something that you have a problem with. Should you not have?! NTA.
Thirdly, lol, she’s actually right that you don’t except her “quirk”. Good luck finding someone who will in public around their parents who when asking “Are you okay?” means “Wtf is wrong with you?!”
I feel for you OP that she’s great in every other way but she’s immature AF and not just cos of the baby talk but her reaction to you bringing this up. Hard dump!
I wuv youuuu. – ok sometimes that is someone being cute…
Nummies? Uhhhhh na.
NTA you are entitled to communicate when you feel uncomfortable…. Maybe she needs a time out?
NTA. If she keeps it up around others (even in private would be a deal breaker for me) cut her loose. You haven’t been together long and it won’t work out long term if she’s pulling this annoying shit for the rest of your LIFE. Good luck.
Nta and you might wanna hold off on sleeping with her again until this is settled. She might be trying to gauge whether or not you’ll knock her up. This isn’t normal if it’s out of the blue and she’s doubling down on doing it after you’ve talked to her.
Legit that would be an immediate deal breaker for me. In public or private I can’t stand that crap.
NTA. She is emotionally immature, drop her and move on.
Make her sit on the naughty step for a timeout.
The “nummies” bit just made me cringe soooo hard
Annoying as fuck
NTA. There’s a good chance she’s making other people uncomfortable with the way she talks. Man it sounds like she’s making you uncomfortable and she needs to realize that and adjust her behavior, or, y’all just aren’t compatible and that might very well be the case.
NTA
I hate people that are ridiculous annoying as fuck and when someone points it out they are offended. ( Baby voice, being rude and when called out being told that’s just how they are it isn’t rude they’re just honest 👀, and so on)
Because …. I’m just quirky!!!!
Had an ex that would constantly bellow that Frozen song no not “let it go” the “wanna build a snowman”… Song
All year around all the effing time. Not silent like full on with the remote spoon or whatever as a microphone. I told him to stop and he said it’s his quirky side.
I have no idea how I managed dating that man child for a year.
No just no.
I feel secondhand embarrassment for her. This is so cringy and immature. NTA.
NTA. That’s just weird.
NTA
And using baby talk in front of your spouses family is weird.
That is not the behavior of an adult
Just break up with her, that’s so gross, she can take her “quirk” somewhere else
NTA. She’s being weird. Is she into kink in this way and she’s taking it too far? Even if she is, you say you’re not into it but she still continues to do it?
WTH? That’s not a quirk. That’s acquired immaturity. Frankly, that’d be a dealbreaker for me. I’ve got no interest in sleeping with someone who chooses to speak like a child. Talk about a sexual buzz killer. The idea of that gives me the heebie jeebies.
Whenever my mom tells me I’m to old for video games ima tell her this story 😂 just tell her if she has a baby fetish or whatever it’s called because acting like one is a big no.
Not accepting a sudden quirk? Anything changed that led her to talk like that at all. NTA and I’d sit her down to have a serious talk.
It’s not okay for her to drag your parents in her kinks and the fact she did it without any remorse makes me wonder if she’s trying to get you to dump her
Nta.
It seems like it’s a new thing for her, and you don’t like it, then make it clear that it’s a boundary you have before it gets so ingrained in her she can’t stop. Also imagine that she does that in a professional setting in front of your coworkers? I would be so embarrased if it was me.
It isn’t cute, it isn’t quirky, and hell, it is also damaging to young kids when you baby talk to them, as it it teaches them bad linguisting habits that can be really hard to change later on. Baby talk is one of the first things other kids will notice, and there is always a handful in every classroom that will comment on it.
Not sure if this is the case for her but some people who experience sexual trauma at a young age do this. It’s actually really hard behavior to get out of once you start doing it. Again this may not be what’s happening. I just thought I’d threw it out there.
Otherwise, it’s pretty strange thing to do around your family.
NTA. OP, I got the ick before I even finished reading. Some guys are into that and that’s their right. But you are not. You tolerated it in private. She’s way too old to be in this whole “I’m SOOOO QUIRKY! I talk like a BABY” phase. You are well within your rights to dump her
I don’t always advocate for immediately breaking up with someone but hot damn is that cringy
I hate your girlfriend
Tell her that the Would you like a Haribo Gold Bear voice has outlived its usefulness and find a new GF.
I feel sorry for you.
If you have to ask her, I think the relationship is already doomed. NTA
Tell her to grow up