I’m losing it. I don’t even know how this became my life. So my husband and I moved into our place almost a year ago. It’s small not tiny but like, perfect for two people trying to build a life together. We were finally getting into a groove. You know grocery runs, Netflix nights, fighting about dumb stuff like laundry. Marriage things. Then his sister shows up. She was supposed to stay for a week. That was nine months ago. She doesn’t pay rent. Doesn’t clean. Leaves her stuff everywhere. Like, my living room looks like a college dorm. And don’t get me started on the bathroom. I can barely find my own shampoo. I talked to my husband about it months ago. He said she was just “going through something” and to be patient. Fine. I was patient. I’ve been too patient. But last week, I finally snapped. I found her eating the leftovers I was saving for my lunch, wearing my hoodie, and watching my streaming account while I was working overtime just to help cover bills. So yeah. I told my husband we needed to have a real conversation. And eventually, I worked up the nerve to say something directly to his mom. I thought maybe she could help talk to her daughter. Big mistake. His mom flipped. Said I was being cold. Said family helps family. Said it was our duty to take care of her while she “gets back on her feet.” But like… she’s not even looking for a job?? She goes out more than I do. Posts IG stories at brunch.
I’m out here losing sleep and this girl’s doing mimosa selfies in my kitchen. Now my husband’s all weird with me. He says I “should’ve just let it go” and that “his mom’s just trying to keep the peace.” But what about me? What about my peace? This is my house too. I’m tired of tiptoeing around my own damn space. So yeah. I told his mom, politely but firmly, that it’s time for her daughter to go back home. She doesn’t need to be here anymore. She’s not a child. Now I’m the villain. I feel like I’m paying the price for asking for basic respect in my own home. I’ve been bending over backwards trying to be the “understanding wife” but I’m at my limit. And now I’m wondering… Was it wrong of me to finally ask her to leave after all this time, even if it pissed off my MIL and made my husband upset? AITAH?
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NTA girl omg i would’ve lost it MONTHS ago. 9 months?? that’s not “going through something” that’s just mooching. u have every right to want ur house back. ur not a villain, ur a saint for lasting this long tbh. ur husband needs to wake up and realize he’s married to you, not his sister
Wow, can I stay there too? Only for a week, I promise.
She has absolutely no incentive to change. Provide one.
NTA.
Seriously whose btch are you?
Fk that grl, she needs to go or you should.
NTA – OP, do you have a family member you can invite over? Someone with no job who is willing to help out. I have read other stories that do this. I think it’s your turn to try some PETTY revenge.
Nta
Time to move back to her parents if she wants to live a child’s life.
You have a husband problem, you need to calmly tell him you’ve reached the end of your patience. You’ve helped her for long enough, if she can enjoy mimosa brunches she’s come through her something and now she’s just mooching NTA
NTA, u need to really talk to you husband about boundaries in ur relationship and decide if this is something you want. He put his sister over your comfort! Thats wrong of him! Please have a sit down about ur relationship.
Here’s where you went wrong, you should have talked about this with your HUSBAND, NOT 3RD PARTIES. The fact that you took it to your mil was stupid af and honestly its not your MIL’s responsibility.
If this is a deal breaker for you, TALK TO YOUR HUSBAND. ONLY YOUR HUSBAND. If it doesnt change and you cant deal, LEAVE.
Seriously, what does bringing in outside parties accomplish? Jack squat, thats it. Oh but it does add on more drama and issues doesnt it?
NTA. Sounds like mommy needs to take her daughter in, family helps family after all and I’d think that goes double for parents. Also, your husband is a big problem. He needs to get his freeloading leech sister out of your house and remember that he’s married and his first duty is to you and not his sister or his mommy. If he can’t do that then maybe he should pack his stuff too while we’re evicting ppl up in here.
You tell your sister-in-law directly that she has one week to get out of your house that nine months is 8 1/2 months too long. Tell her she’s a mess. She’s lazy and she’s taking advantage of you and it will not be taken advantage of anymore. Do not talk to your husband. Do not talk to your mother-in-law. If your husband has a problem with this once she found out then tell him either she goes or you go and if you go, you won’t be back
NTA – seems like SIL is a spoiled, entitled brat & your MIL sounds like she’s probably to blame.
You’re about 8 months past what my limit for this nonsense would have been.
NTA. I’d be so over it and damn near ready to leave the relationship if his sister’s feelings are more important than his wife’s in their marital home. It’d be one thing if you were staying with his family and they were supporting you, then id get to some extent the reasoning to bite your tongue and deal but not when you’re paying for your own space that she is intruding on.
This is equally your house as much as it is his. You agreed to one week damn near a year ago. She’s well overstayed her welcome and is not your responsibility. Set a boundary and be firm with your husband. Either she leaves or if he wants her to stay she has to either contribute equally to all expenses and respect your belongings and personal space. Set a time limit cause that’s just crazy. She’s not some child who has no one else to take her in. She’s a grown adult.
Of course his mom isn’t gonna side with you because then sis the mooch becomes her problem and she clearly doesn’t wanna deal with the results of her own poor parenting if she can pass the responsibility onto someone else.
NTA! She’s lazy and entitled and treats you and your home with zero respect. She needs to leave!
Move out. Then you’ll have your own space and no one to bother you. Since your husband obviously doesn’t care, he can put up with her and pay for everything. Why are you wasting your time and money for this?
Wow Nta but you have a husband and in law issue. Sit your husband down saying it is not your responsibility to help his sister. For almost a year no rent using your stuff eating your food. Is unfair to you. And advise him this is not ok to be treated like this in your home. Good luck op. Update me
Family helps family. Yup. But this isn’t help; this is enablement.
NTA. You ought to go stay somewhere else for a while, your family or friends – and take your precious belongings in case they go walkabouts. TELL your husband that you’re not working your ass off doing overtime for her to have free ride wearing your clothing posting free mimosa tiktoks from your kitchen while she eats all your groceries.
At this point I’m afraid I would have told my husband either she goes or I do. NTA.
A month or 2 is helping out ti get them squared away. 9 months is being taken advantage of. Husband needs to wake up b4 he only lives with his sister. MIL is happy she’s out of her hair nd is ur problem now not hers.
NTA. Your Husbands side of the family, including him are TA’s.
NTA
Stop trying to reason with your MIL
Tell your SIL she needs to move out and let her work out where she goes, as that’s not your problem to solve
She’s old enough to drink, so she’s kke enough to do other adult things like sort out accommodation
NTA. Family helps family. Giveaway of AI .
First of all, when people getting walked on say they are “trying to keep the peace,” what they really mean is trying to keep the quiet. So, no. It’s not peaceful. You’re not at peace. Don’t be afraid to get noisy. This is simply ridiculous. If it blows everything up, including your relationship with your in-laws, or even blows up your marriage, so be it. A quiet marriage with justified, simmering anger underneath is no marriage at all. And mil is just pushing it off on you because she doesn’t want to deal with it
Every time I let someone move in, it never turned out well. So it’s been a no for 15 years.
Nta
You lasted about 8 months longer than i would have
Kick the bum out immediately
Updateme
How dare your MIL accuse you of not doing your duty. You’re not your SIL’s mother, she is. I would have given my SIL at most 3-4 months to get her shit together, but only a month if she wasn’t treating my house respectfully. If your husband won’t evict his sister after 9 months, the writing is on the wall of how this marriage is going to be for you, and it’s not going to be pretty. Evict yourself and go get your own place. NTA.
NTA your husband needs to grow a spine and SIL needs to be kicked out otherwise I would move out and file for divorce.