AITAH for banning neighbor kids from my house after repeatedly leaving the door open allowing my dog to escape?

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My son has friends that come over all the time. I have reminded these kids to make sure they shut the doors so my dog doesn’t get out. My dog has gotten out four times now because of these kids leaving the door open and it’s always been difficult to get her back in. She’s still young and doesn’t mind very well (we are working on training but she hasn’t done very well with it. She’s an active dog and has not done well with recall). Just recently a neighbor’s dog went missing because it got scared of fireworks and took off. Unfortunately the dog has not been found 10 days later. Last night the kids came over and my dog got out again and it took awhile to get her back. When we finally got her back the kids were still at my house and I told them they can’t come back over. I explained that I have told them multiple times to shut the door when they come in and they continue to not do so and I am not going to lose my dog over it. Maybe I over reacted but I was scared my dog would have the same fate as the neighbor dog.

Comments

  1. rasalscan Avatar

    NTA. Actions have consequences and you shouldn’t lose you dog over their inattention.

  2. Old_Celebration3536 Avatar

    NTA. tbh it sounds like you’ve been more than patient, four times is a pattern, not an accident, your don’s safety has to come first, even if that means setting firmer boundaries with the kids

  3. FlirtyHoneybun Avatar

    Not the asshole at all. Look, I get that kids forget things, but when it comes to pet safety, there’s no room for “oops.” I’ve had to have the same conversation with my nephew about our front gate. After the third time explaining why it matters, I started making him practice opening and closing it properly. If they can’t respect something that basic in your home, they don’t deserve the privilege of being there.

  4. Specific_Design9383 Avatar

    Protect your dog. No excuse for the kids to not listen or show consideration.

  5. Prime_fem Avatar

    You didn’t overreact at all. Your dog’s safety has to come first, and if the kids can’t respect such a simple rule after multiple reminders, then banning them was the right call. Hopefully this teaches them some responsibility too. NTA

  6. AcanthocephalaOne285 Avatar

    NTA

    I’d have done the same thing. They aren’t listening, and now you need to act. Honestly, I’m surprised that after 4 escapes, you still have a dog.

  7. blushingmarigold Avatar

    NTA.

    your dog’s safety comes first, and they kept ignoring clear instructions. If they can’t respect that, they don’t need to be in your house.

  8. BeachinLife1 Avatar

    NTA. If they can’t do one simple thing (do they not have doors at home?) and shut the damn door, then they can’t come back. It’s that simple.

    And besides, if either the AC or the heat is on, I’m not cooling/heating the neighborhood!

  9. Specific-Morning-985 Avatar

    NTA. How is this even a debate? Your house, your rules and your dog’s well being takes priority over those stupid ass kids.

  10. SEYMOURASSES66 Avatar

    Nope not the asshole. If they can’t obey the rules they can’t be in the house.

  11. Allonsydr1 Avatar

    NTA. But I think you need to have a discussion with their parents about their children’s carelessness and inability to follow a very basic direction as explain to them why their children’s carelessness aren’t allowed in your home anymore. This is a parenting problem their parents need to address.

  12. RowAccomplished3975 Avatar

    NTA. I lost a cat once because my child left our front door wide open. she was 4 at the time and should have known better because it was something I would repeat over and over.

  13. girl-wtfareyoudoing Avatar

    How old are these kids? I understand kids having fun often forget things but shutting doors is a basic skill. I don’t really know anyone with pets or not who is on with their doors being wide open. 

    NTA

    But that said are there things you could do to help keep your dog safe knowing that this is an ongoing issue… keep her in a different part of the house for example?
    Warn the kids that they are not going to be allowed over if they don’t start shutting the door?
    Make them play exclusively outside? 

    Either way I’m glad you’re dog is safe and hopefully this is a lesson learned 

  14. Cute_Recognition_880 Avatar

    NTA. This pupper is important. It’s good to know where you kids are, their friends don’t get it about the dog.

  15. sharkbark2050 Avatar

    NTA. Your dog is an important family member. The neighbors are not and have no right to be in your home.

  16. frysatsun Avatar

    YNTA but banning them unfortunately hurts your son as well.

    How old are they? Asking nicely obviously isn’t working. I like the idea below of having “lessons” about closing the door. Make it a little silly, give them hand made awards or small food prizes for successfully shutting the door. Help those synapses rewire. Make them your ally.

    If they still don’t take it seriously after that, then ban them. Although I suspect it’s probably only one kid who is the issue.

  17. heyitsta12 Avatar

    Info: you said the kids are coming over to play with your son??

    Why haven’t you talked to him about this more since it’s his house and his friends?

  18. dnabsuh1 Avatar

    If she keeps getting out like that, you should get a spring to push the gate closed and, more importantly, a GPS collar. Make sure the GPS Collar can’t slide off- we had a Husky who got loose with a GPS collar on- we found the collar within 15 minutes, but it took over a day to find him.

  19. Myster_Hydra Avatar

    NTA

    I would have tossed them outside immediately to find my dog. Hooligans.

  20. gungirllynn Avatar

    Could you get one of those “underground fence” collar systems for her

  21. montauk6 Avatar

    I would think that since your son is “hosting,” it should be his responsibility not the kids. But it is an adequate reality check on him emdash no friend visits if you can’t do the right thing(s).

    NTA

  22. Unfair_Desk_4539 Avatar

    NTA how old are the kids to be dumb enough to leave a door open. Where I live that is asking for mosquitoes to eat you alive

  23. DrunkTides Avatar

    Nta. My 8 year old remembers to close the door so we don’t lose the cats. Had a few accidents but really not that many. These kids are just being careless

  24. Special_Lychee_6847 Avatar

    NTA
    Your kids can hang out with them at their house.
    Apparently, their parents don’t care too much about following requests or even rules, so I doubt there’s anything your kids would do over there, that would embarrass you.

    If your kid(s) complain, and their old enough, perhaps they can have a shed in the garden, to hang out in – providing the garden gate isn’t an issue (shed outside of the gate / extra gate / whatever works)

    But no, don’t sacrifice your family’s safety for other ppl’s kids not listening.

  25. tenaji9 Avatar

    Better this than dog gets hurt or goes missing.

  26. Zestyclose-Custard-2 Avatar

    NTA and not an overreaction. Those kids can’t be trusted and that’s not your fault.

  27. ablestrange Avatar

    NTA, the only thing I would do differently is make your child the responsible party.

    You can’t have your friends over if you keep letting the dog out.

  28. Extension-Ad8549 Avatar

    Isn’t your son fault to? And sounds like kids are young if they leave the door open..

  29. Main-Syrup-1334 Avatar

    You ARE NOT the AH!!!

  30. No_Tiger75 Avatar

    oh hell no nta, id be ballistic. This is for beyond valid reasons

  31. SilverSister22 Avatar

    NTA

    If my door or gate was closed and you opened it to come through … then close the damn thing behind you. It’s very simple.

  32. chronicducks Avatar

    NTA.

    You have a boundary and set a condition to meet if they were going to be in and out, they failed repeatedly to meet it so they’re facing the consequences. It’s very necessary for you to keep your dog safe, and others, because horror stories do happen and a loose and scared dog can cause a crash if it runs into a road so you’re doing the right thing preventing your dog from being let out again.

  33. ReviewScary9200 Avatar

    I have to say this. Keep a collar (a harness would be better )on your dog with an air tag on it. You will be able to track any escapee immediately

  34. Reina753 Avatar

    NTA. they could cost you your dog intentionally or not. And honestly at 5 escapes your son should have stepped in with his friends. For future concerns about your dog though, assuming it’s an inside dog, have you considered a baby gate? That way it cant get out the door? It might be inconvenient for guests but the ones who get you will understand

  35. Lupiefighter Avatar

    NTA- At the very least this is “time out” territory. You can try to have them come back at a later date, but you certainly aren’t the asshole if you decide otherwise either. Actions have consequences.

  36. Possible_Juice_3170 Avatar

    NTA. You need to protect your dog. However, you might say “you can’t come over for a week” and if it happens again, double the time of the ban.

  37. icky-chu Avatar

    Im not sure why the kids were in your house while you were looking for the dog. My family bread Labrador for a few years. They were our pets, and are a very active bread, so they would knock you over as a kid to run out the door. The rule was if you and your friends let the dog out you went looking for them.

    And yes, my parents would ban a kid from not following the house rules. So NTA. If you have ever seen a dog get hit by a car, the trauma will never leave you.

  38. Bfan72 Avatar

    NTA. What if your dog got scared and bit someone? Even the best of dogs get scared around strangers sometimes. A kind hearted person might try and catch your dog causing it to react differently than it would for you. Don’t put your dog at risk for that. Your dog would be the one that gets the punishment.

  39. meatshake001 Avatar

    I used to be a camp counselor. We had a
    Door on spring hinges that would slam loudly if you flung them open like a savage. Guess what my campers did. I used to call them back and make them open and close it softly every time they slammed it. That was just bc it annoyed me. No animals were harmed.

    For some reason boys have close to a learning disability about closing doors. You have to treat it calmly but implacably. You have to make it really annoying and a little embarrassing for them to forget. Have door open and closing practice. Make them sing the ‘close the door’ song everytime they walk through. Its the only way. Don’t get mad. Be endlessly patient but completely rigid in the rules. They will learn if you do it that way I promise.

  40. SnowflakeSWorker Avatar

    I had this problem when my oldest was a teenager. I printed, laminated and hung signs on ALL the doors about the dog, to no avail. Eventually had to go to just using the back door only (fenced in backyard). It’s a consequence of their actions.

  41. No_Appearance_7373 Avatar

    I’m all for this. You aren’t the ah and their inability to follow the rules could have long term consequences for your puppy. You made the right call, if your son wants friends they can play outside. What kind of dog do you have? My Newfoundland ran out an open gate once (my previous landscaper would forget to shut it) and she was right outside the fence so I faked a leg injury- when I was rolling on the grass “crying out” in pain she ran back in. That level of fear when your dog is missing is unreal.

  42. Kashaya72 Avatar

    NTA

    Tell their parents why they are banned from your house and please explain it to your son, he will understand

  43. Final_Salamander8588 Avatar

    NTA. You cannot allow this! The dog is depending on you to keep it safe. If the kids cannot observe the rules in your home, they can’t come in.
    Consequences.

  44. Difficult_Regret_900 Avatar

    NTA and lock the doors.

  45. Blue_Etalon Avatar

    I was walking my dog and the kids up the block left the front door open. Their golden retrievers got out and one of them ran up to my little dog and grabbed him around the neck like he was going to shake him to death. Fortunately, he’s so fat the other dog couldn’t pick him up. But he did put two big punctures all the way thru his skin. $1000 at the vet and a whole night at the doggie ER. My neighbor apologized and paid the bill and we’re cool about the whole thing. These are not normally aggressive dogs, but who knows what was going on in its head that night?

    By the way, how old are these kids? Just wondering.