Edit: this was my husband’s idea. The 13 year old just went along.
Yesterday driving home with my 5 kids while my husband is away (he’s driving long-haul this week).
13 year old: dad was in an accident, he’s been trying to call you, but it won’t go through. He’s okay though. (we’ve been having problems with our phones)
Me: you’re messing with me.
13 y.o.: no I’m not.
Long pause
Me: seriously are you messing with me?
13 y.o.: no. He was in an accident, but he’s okay.
Call my husband in a panic, knowing that he always says he’s okay when he’s not
Me, still driving a van full of kids: you were in an accident?!
Husband: babe, it’s April fools
I hung up on him and had a mini-meltdown.
I felt physically ill. Got all sweaty, and then my 13 y.o. noticed I was crying and repeatedly apologized.
My husband later gave me an apology (“I’m sorry” via text). When I tried to explain this morning that I’m still upset that he sent me into a panic for fun, he responded that he figured I’d see through it since it was April fools.
I’m pissed and feel like my trust has been broken. Am I the asshole for thinking this was too far, and wanting a real apology?
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Yesterday driving home with my 5 kids while my husband is away (he’s driving long-haul this week).
13 year old: dad was in an accident, he’s been trying to call you, but it won’t go through. He’s okay though. (we’ve been having problems with our phones)
Me: you’re messing with me.
13 y.o.: no I’m not.
Long pause
Me: seriously are you messing with me?
13 y.o.: no. He was in an accident, but he’s okay.
Call my husband in a panic, knowing that he always says he’s okay when he’s not
Me, still driving a van full of kids: you were in an accident?!
Husband: babe, it’s April fools
I hung up on him and had a mini-meltdown.
I felt physically ill. Got all sweaty, and then my 13 y.o. noticed I was crying and repeatedly apologized.
My husband later gave me an apology (“I’m sorry” via text). When I tried to explain this morning that I’m still upset that he sent me into a panic for fun, he responded that he figured I’d see through it since it was April fools.
I’m pissed and feel like my trust has been broken. Am I the asshole for thinking this was too far, and wanting a real apology?
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NTA. April fool’s day is supposed to be jokes. Did you ask your son what part of his story is funny? He had many chances to come clean. He needs to learn you can take jokes too far.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Am I the asshole for still being mad at my husband for scaring me with his April Fools prank? I know that he meant to be funny, so maybe I should just forgive him, but it really scared me.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. You did initially assume it was a prank, but obviously if you’re told repeatedly that it’s not, at some point you are going to believe it.
A prank at the expense of the prankee is super shitty. Even if your husband thought you wouldn’t believe your child reporting a serious accident, the whole premise of the prank is to make you upset. That’s not funny. It’s not clever, creative, or like anything that a prank should be. It’s just low-brow, where the only ‘payoff’ is that the prankster gets to either say a) “gotcha!” or b) “dude you’re so gullible, how can you be so dumb?”
I would also be pissed at him for teaching this to your kids – teaching them that it’s ok.
Info:
Did he tell the kid to do that or did the kid come up with it on his own???
NTA
At first, I thought your 13-yo came up with this, and I still thought that was bad enough…
But your GROWN husband came up with it?
Not even a little bit. Your husband played a cruel prank that caused you genuine distress, all while you were driving a van full of your kids. That’s not just an April Fools’ joke—it’s irresponsible and inconsiderate. You’re absolutely justified in wanting a real apology. A texted “sorry” doesn’t cut it after putting you through that kind of panic.
NTA. You definitely deserve an actual apology, not a justification or accusation of over reaction disguised as an apology. Your spouse also has some work to do to determine why he thought doing something that was literally designed to cause you distress was somehow funny to him, and why he felt making a 13 year old child who probably was not really in a postilion to decline to participate complicit in this was OK. Literally sit him down and make him explain to you how this was funny. And maybe think about why you are with a person who thinks that causing you distress is funny.
NTA, but your husband is. There are some things that should never be the subject of practical jokes, and this is one of them.
No you’re not. Pranks are almost always, like 99.999999% of the time, mean and hurtful for someone. Pranks that aren’t fun for everyone involved suck and there are almost no pranks that are fun for everyone involved.
NTA
Whilst you were driving too??? YOU could’ve got in an accident 🤦♀️
NTA. I hate pranks in general, but this was too much, very cruel.
NTA. Coming from someone who lost their brother in an auto accident, I could never forgive someone if they were joking around with me about this.
NTA, I don’t know why causing distress is ever funny especially between spouses. I love a good prank or joke, for example my husband told me our grocer was sold out of my favorite frozen pizza which was disappointing but didn’t come close to causing a panic attack or emotional breakdown. When I came home, I immediately smelled my pizza baking in the oven and that dork was grinning ear to ear behind the counter. That’s fun. Pretending you’ve been in a vehicular accident to make your wife stress out over the what if’s is not. Your husband was a dick here and I hope he promptly apologizes in a more effective manner than a text.
NTA A prank/joke/April fools is meant to be funny, scaring someone by making them think their loved one has been in an accident is the furthest away from funny it can get 🤬🤬 the fact that it was your hubby that came up with the idea makes it worse, at his age he should know better especially as he’s along haul driver!! Your hubby us a major AH, even the kid at 13 should know better but he was doing what his dad said. At least your kid apologised when he realised you were upset, whereas it took hubby a lot longer to text a sorry. He should be on his knees begging forgiveness for his stupidity.
edited – typos
NTA – and Not Funny. Pretending you’re sick, injured, dead, divorced etc is in no way funny. It’s just cruel.
NTA.
This was a dick move. I like pranks too, but worrying someone you love this much isn’t cool.
Some people don’t understand the whole concept of April fools jokes. Your husband is one of them.
NTA, having your child tell you that he was in an accident is not a prank, it’s just cruel. Pranks should have the person being pranked laugh at the end of it. There was no chance in hell you’d laugh after that. Your husband is an incredibly immature.
So your husband chose to play a prank that could potentially cause you to panic when you were driving children in your car? 🤯 That’s not a prank, that’s putting lives at risk!
NTA.
April Fools day brings out the worst (and dumbest) in people.
Tell your husband you fucked his boss. If he doesn’t kill you or his boss. Tell him it was just a prank bro.
NTA, that was not an April fool’s joke. What your husband did was pull a cruel “prank” on you with the intention of upsetting you for his own amusement. And to add insult to injury, he got your son in on it too. I’m all for lighthearted jokes and fun, but there’s a point where the joke goes too far, and this one definitely crossed that line. You deserve a genuine, face-to-face apology from your husband AND your son.