My (30F) husband (32M) and I just got married and are currently on our honeymoon. We’ve been together for 3 years, and while he’s always been a bit more on the flirty/affectionate side, this situation crossed a line for me.
Before the trip, he told me he had something “special” planned with the hotel room and wouldn’t give me many details—just that I’d “love it.” I figured it would be something romantic or sweet, maybe a view or a spa tub. When we got there, I realized the “special” surprise was that he had specifically booked a suite with an open-concept shower—meaning, the shower is basically in the middle of the room with a glass wall and no privacy.
He proudly told me he chose it so he could “see me while I shower.” Like it was some sexy honeymoon thing. I was honestly uncomfortable right away. I told him I felt exposed and that I don’t like being watched while I shower—it’s one of the few times I really like to be alone and feel totally unobserved.
He seemed hurt and confused and asked why I was “ashamed” of my body with him. I tried to explain that it’s not about shame, it’s about privacy. That I just want to be able to shower without an audience, even if it’s my husband. He said I was “killing the mood” and that he just wanted to enjoy the view of his wife, not make me uncomfortable.
We ended up having a small argument, and now things feel tense. He still doesn’t get why I think it’s invasive or weird, and I’m starting to wonder if I overreacted. I know we’re supposed to be open and close, especially on our honeymoon, but this just didn’t feel romantic to me—it felt like my comfort didn’t matter.
AITAH for being upset about this and making a big deal out of it?
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Backup of the post’s body: My (30F) husband (32M) and I just got married and are currently on our honeymoon. We’ve been together for 3 years, and while he’s always been a bit more on the flirty/affectionate side, this situation crossed a line for me.
Before the trip, he told me he had something “special” planned with the hotel room and wouldn’t give me many details—just that I’d “love it.” I figured it would be something romantic or sweet, maybe a view or a spa tub. When we got there, I realized the “special” surprise was that he had specifically booked a suite with an open-concept shower—meaning, the shower is basically in the middle of the room with a glass wall and no privacy.
He proudly told me he chose it so he could “see me while I shower.” Like it was some sexy honeymoon thing. I was honestly uncomfortable right away. I told him I felt exposed and that I don’t like being watched while I shower—it’s one of the few times I really like to be alone and feel totally unobserved.
He seemed hurt and confused and asked why I was “ashamed” of my body with him. I tried to explain that it’s not about shame, it’s about privacy. That I just want to be able to shower without an audience, even if it’s my husband. He said I was “killing the mood” and that he just wanted to enjoy the view of his wife, not make me uncomfortable.
We ended up having a small argument, and now things feel tense. He still doesn’t get why I think it’s invasive or weird, and I’m starting to wonder if I overreacted. I know we’re supposed to be open and close, especially on our honeymoon, but this just didn’t feel romantic to me—it felt like my comfort didn’t matter.
AITAH for being upset about this and making a big deal out of it?
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Ewwww. No one wants to be watched in the shower.
NTA. You are fully within your right to not respond well to him assuming you would be fine with something like this. It seems like a misunderstanding. He is allowed to feel a little dejected/bummed that you didn’t love his “surprise”, but I don’t think those feelings are your responsibility. Saying “I feel exposed by that shower and I don’t really like being watched while I bathe” does not at all make you an asshole. It makes you an honest person.
I would feel really bad if my spouse felt uncomfortable by something and went through with it anyway in an effort to make me happy. I would hope he feels the same.
It’s hygiene, not a performance. NTA, I’d ask to change to a different suite